Break My Fall
by LightlessFallenAngel
Summary: Everyone can have their Demons. Max is not exception, just because they would not see them. Didn't mean they weren't there... And someone noticed. Warnings: Drug use,addiction,phycological,shounen-ai, yaoi.Angst/Hurt-comfort/Romance/ Friendship. Max/Ka
1. Chapter 1: What Lies Beneath

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words.**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi.  
**

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**Break My Fall**

**Chapter one**

_**What Lies Beneath**_

**Max's POV**

Things were easy at the beginning… In Japan, the daily routine hadn't changed from this, since I never let someone notice… When I was taking it once in a week, I even thought it wasn't something serious. I don't know how deep I believed this to be honest. Yet it currently had become once per day, and I was trying to convince myself I didn't really need it… I was just taking it because I wanted to… Such a big lie…

"Max…" I felt my father shaking me gently to wake me up "its breakfast time" after this he walked out, leaving the door half open.

I opened my eyes. Up until now I was used to the terrible headache when I woke up, from my last night use so I didn't really paid attention to it as I walked to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water, I raised my sight to the mirror and sighed…

I was long skipping a talk to myself with lies and excuses that sounded really stupid to the part of myself who knew I was in big trouble and had to stop… But I couldn't even if I was repeating in my mind I just didn't wanted to…

I placed my hands to the sides of the sink and sighed leaning over it. My body felt heavier than usual, like every day that passed I was gaining weight, but I didn't… I actually had lost much weight during the last months, since the day I started this… I'm not sure what I was thinking back then, and why I did it… It's not like I didn't know what I was getting into… And I think it was pretty late to drag myself out… "Or I just don't want to…" I said to myself once again, and my reflection shook his head. I sighed once again and pushed the sink back, dried my face and walked downstairs.

My neck was dry thanks to my drug, but I wasn't really hungry. It's been a while since I felt hungry for something else, except of… That. I took my seat to the table as usual and smiled puppishly at my father who ruffled my hair as he was serving a hot pancake and a glass of juice to me. I drank it more than willingly, relieving with its cool touch my throat, although I didn't made out much of the taste… It was just a cold liquid, that's all I knew.

I turned my eyes to my dad when he served himself sitting opposite me, he smiled at me. I knew both my parents loved me very much… This made me feel really guilty at times and ashamed of myself… None of them had even thought that their innocent and cute, fifteen year old son, had turned to this… I don't even want to name it…

Of course my mother wasn't living with us, of course she wouldn't have noticed… As for my father… As I told you, I never gave him a reason to think I'll have a wrong turn… I was horrified of the thought he might find out sometime, so in front of him, I was always his cheerful and childish, innocent son, just as to my teammates I was the cheerful and careless member of the team, destined to keep the balance between the other members…

After I forced myself to eat half the pancake I got up and grabbed my bag, telling my father I was in a hurry, I was already dressed, so I jumped out of the house and rushed to Tyson's dojo, hearing the last moment my father telling me to take care and all, and I bit my lower lip unconsciously, as I sped up in the road.

Soon I was standing on the dojo's doorstep, in the garden, panting loud cause I had ran my way there. I took a deep breath and smiled sweet as I rolled the door open.

"Morning, guys! Sorry I'm late" I said cheerfully and ran my eyes in the room, to my teammates one by one.

Ray, who was the first one I face since he was sitting opposite the door, had his arms crossed as he sat to the ground, like usual, dressed and fresh. Tyson was looking moody, like usually when he had been woken up this early. His hair was still messed from the sleep and he probably didn't have breakfast yet… Kenny was sitting to a side, writing on his laptop, and Kai was standing next to him, with his arms crossed and his spine leaned against the wall. His head was turned to the direction of Dizzy, but his crimson eyes were coldly staring at me…

I just smiled at him and nodded.

Hillary hadn't come up yet, which I admit didn't sadden me at all for some reason… It's not that I don't like her, I just… I guess I'm pretty jealous of her…

"Good morning, Max. Don't worry, you aren't late…" Ray greeted me and I got my sit to the floor "You're ready and all? Sure you got everything?" I nodded.

We were going to a tournament to the other side of Japan. It was not that far, but we were going to stay to a hotel there, so we would be able o compete every day. We were to stay there for a couple of weeks, which kind of worried me a bit. I had my "medicine" for a couple of days, but I had no idea how I would get more when we would be there… I placed that thought to the back of my head and returned to paying attention to my teammates.

Oh, by the way… Once again Hiromi would come to make sure Tyson will be doing some of his lessons. Heh, I knew he just enjoyed being around us, especially Kai, although I was sure she would make a better match with Tyson… Of course maybe I have my personal reasons to think this… And it made me feel better probably…? Yes, I do have a crush on Kai, you got it… Yet, then I was too busy, playing it cheerful and teasing Tyson and talking with Ray to notice the pair of my beloved red eyes, were still stuck on me.

**Kai's POV**

I kept my eyes on him since the moment he came through the door, although I had heard his panting breath on the doorstep. In a weird way, at that time Tyson wasn't complaining, but not even Ray noticed Max's presence before he walk in… I did though. And it's not the first time he runs his way here… It's been a while he does that… Sometimes I even see him coming running to the door, as if somebody is chasing him… At first I wouldn't had paid attention to this. Max is a hyper child, usually spending much physical energy, without certain reason, but I see also has seen other things on him that made me suspicious…

I couldn't see his body under his baggy clothing, but from his face, I could tell he had lost some weight… Also, he and Tyson were sharing treats a lot. Ray was a person that ate much as well, but not much as Tyson. Well, in the appetite thing, they were usually like this:

1- Tyson- with the title "I try everything, I eat everything, I love everything that's eatable!"

2- Max- with the title "More food, more energy, more silly grins!"

3- Ray- with the title "A good chef, must know as much tastes as possible. So eat up till you choke".

Anyway. Max lastly would deny, or eat very little of any treat we were receiving… Yet again, don't think I have nothing better to do than keep my eyes on Max. I noticed this stuff after enough time had passed and he had been doing this stuff…

Except of the loss of appetite, the pale skin and the tired look, his mood was the first I noticed that changed. I either am too good at reading people or he's pretty easy readable…

When no one was around (or so he thought), his smile would fade, or weaken and he wasn't keeping much of eye contact with anyone. Even when someone was talking to him, he would find a reason to look away…

He even had changed some of his clothing habits. The bright orange jacket that used to be tied around his waist every day had now become his second skin… The long sleeves of it were usually being pulled nervously even more over his fists, and some really scary thoughts had crossed my mind sometimes of what might be hiding under them…

Yet, I might was just being paranoid… I knew Max, and he wasn't the kind of person he would do something as stupid as what I had thought… But how much can you know for a person from this distance? Just think how little they know for me… I had to be sure. I wanted to keep my team healthy, literally and not literally. So if something was going on with Max, I was to find out and fix it, before it become harmful for my team.

I pushed the wall and walked to the garden, just when Hillary was fighting to drag a huge bag through the main entrance. I rolled my eyes and walked to her, lifting the bag for her.

Girls! What the hell did she have in this? It wasn't heavy for me, but obviously for her it was, since she fell back when I lifted it, and stared down at her.

"Oh… Morning, Kai" she said with her cheeks lightly flushed, probably because she had tried too much to lift this thing "Sorry for the trouble" she continued with a shy smile.

I just turned around and walked back to the dojo, letting her bag to the floor, and she came in after me, with her hands joined in front of her, smiling.

**Max's POV**

I heard the door open and turned my eyes to this direction, seeing Kai's scarf swinging back as he walked out. Just after a while, I heard Hilary greeting him, and soon after he walked in caring her bag… I'm not a girl to complain that he never did such a thing for me, and either his boyfriend. I 'm not even so much gay! But... Grrr! Come on! Respect a little my pain here… Not that you know…

Suddenly, Tyson's annoying voice got me out of my thoughts "Ok, ok Romeo" he said to Kai, looking all of a sudden, perfectly awake and lively "Let's move". He growled and walked out, dragging his own bag. Yes, Tyson shares my feelings, not for Kai thought, but for Hillary… And this one was something not only I knew… It was pretty much a… Common secret. Only Hilary and probably Kai didn't know…

Ray shook his head with a smile and lifted his own bag and waited the rest to walk out first. I lifted my bag and ran next to Tyson. At the back Kai was caring still Hilary's bag and his own, following the others, as Ray closed the door, after Kenny finally walked out and we all left the dojo.

At the end of the street we got into the bus, Mr. Dickenson had got for us.

Tyson got his seat as front as possible as he always did. Most of the time, I would sit to his side, to laugh and chat, but right now I didn't felt like it, so I was glad when Kenny sat there in my place, and I got a seat, at the back. Hilary sat behind Tyson and Kenny. Surprisingly, Kai and Ray sat at different places. Ray got just a seat next to the window alone, and Kai walked and took a seat behind me. He crossed his arms and turned to the window.

A few hours later, in the drive, Tyson was snoring loud, and drooling. I couldn't see the last, but I was sure it happened. It always did. Hillary was already getting annoyed by this, so Ray invited her to sit next to him, and they had started chatting. Kenny was lively typing on his laptop. And Kai was silent as usual… I couldn't see his reflection since the light wasn't to the right place, but I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not. I couldn't tell from his breathing pace…

And I didn't minded much really… Not right then. I was kind of upset still, with the incident with Hillary… Ok, she's cute, she's clever, and she's a girl… I get why Kai could like her… I sighed and lay down, on the two seats, staring the roof of the bus. I wanted my medicine, but I had to wait a couple of hours more… When we'd be at the hotel, it wouldn't be difficult to get it, when Tyson will be busy trying the beds of our room, and ordering staff from the menu. He wouldn't notice a thing…

My need was getting more obvious as I was thinking of Kai and Hillary… I only hoped I wouldn't have any withdrawal symptoms, so my need would be obvious only to me… In this thought I felt guilty and ashamed once again… Thinking all the people who loved me and how selfish I had acted… But everyone has their demons don't they? I know, I know there were other ways…

I sigh once again and curl to myself, wrapping my arms around myself and closing my eyes. Some of my muscles are twitching. Not hard, but I feel them, and I can't wait till we reach our destination… Feels like forever, gosh…

**Kai's POV**

I'd been watching his actions of his reflection at the glass. I was getting more and more suspicious… He seemed vulnerable and fragile right now.

When I saw him lying down, I thought he was just wanted to get some sleep. I wonder how he'll d this with the snoring, the typing, the chatting and all… But Max was never a difficult person I guess…

What catch my attention were his arms which were wrapped around him and his breath. I would know if he were sleeping. But he didn't. He was laid down, his eyes were shut, and he seemed peaceful but I could hear his breathes coming out faster than they should. Could it really be that I was right? Could the innocent and cheerful Max had gone down such a dangerous road?

An hour later we had reached the hotel, and one by one we took our stuff and walked out. I reached for Hilary's bag along with mine, but Ray grabbed it first and threw it to Tyson when she wasn't looking and he smiled cheekily at me.

Tyson gasped and caught the bag. He blinked a couple of times, till Hillary looked at him curiously. Then he shook his head and carried her bag out along with his, and Hillary followed him. Those two were the proof in the law of physics "Opposite attract". Sometime they would sure make quite a… Loud couple. And when of course Hillary would accept her fillings for him, instead of covering with her feelings for me. Yes. I'm not blind. I know what's going on. I just dot have any reason to not ignore it.

Just when Ray helped Kenny carry out a bag filled with Beyblade parts and pc accessories, I noticed Max hadn't even moved and turned around to look at him.

He was still curled to the same place, and his breath was still not as calm as it should for a sleeping person, but he obviously did was sleeping… I walked close to him and had a chance to have a straight look at his curled up figure.

I leaned close and shake my hand in front of his face. He didn't move. I called his name lowly. Again, nothing. I sighed and stared at him quietly… It didn't took long to me to see a really difficult to notice shiver, and a couple of stronger twitches, which almost made me sure, but I tried to pull this thought to the back of my head. I shook him soft "Max…"

He twitched and blinked sleepily a couple of times "I'm up…" he said weakly, and sat up slowly, rubbing his wide blue eyes. I sat up, and pulled up his bag, which was surprisingly light.

"No, no! I can take it!" he yelped as he stood up, and reached for his bag, having a weird deep color on his freckled, pale face. I stared at him, debating on either keeping the bag, or giving it back to him. And I didn't see the reason why I shouldn't, so I did.

Max held his green bag, and stared at it for a while. I grabbed my own and waited for Max to walk out first, and he did, still holding his bag to his lap, without even glancing at me when he did, and he was seeming a little in a hurry.

In the reception room of the hotel, we met the rest. Ray, Tyson and Hilary were already holding the keys to our rooms. I walked to them and took the key from Ray.

"You'll stay with Tyson" I said coldly. And I got weird looks just as I expected, and heard a low gasp behind me, which came from Max, I was sure "No offence, Ray, but you've started snoring as bad as Tyson, and also, I want to be sure he and Max won't sleep late, being stupid like usual".

Now, the first part was quite a big lie. Ray was soundless when he slept. He never bothered me, but he himself, wouldn't be able to know if he did or didn't snore. Tyson would be sleeping deeper to hear Ray, and Kenny would never dare to say something which would oppose to my words. As for Max, he didn't say anything, although when I turned to face him, I was sure he wasn't too glad with my announcement. If I was right, he must knew things wouldn't be easy with me around…

"Here" I told him and stretched the keys to him, staring him coldly as I always do "Make yourself comfortable…"

Max stared at the keys and took them slowly with shaky hand, which I was sure he was trying to handle. Then he walked off.

I heard Tyson mumble behind my back something like "poor Max..." and giggled. Ray pated the back of his head with a smirks and pushed him to the way of the room followed by Kenny, and Hillary headed to her room by herself, so I had to help her once again with her bag… doing as fast as I could.

**Max's POV**

I didn't notice when I fell asleep… But the first thing I saw when a very gentle shake woke me up, was the pair of crimson eyes of my crush… "I'm up…" I said. I wasn't much sure I was awake, and I thought I was dreaming even more when he lifted my bag, and caught me by surprised and I jumped up, without thinking "No, no! I can take it!" I said.

He stared at me blankly, and I was dragged back to reality when he gave the sack back to me… I stared at it kind of disappointed… On the other hand, I remembered my medicine was still in there. And now I could have it! So I walked out pretty fast, and he followed me to the reception. I smiled seeing the keys already to my partner's hands. We just had to go to the rooms, and I would say I was going to have a shower or sth… Neither Tyson nor Kenny would understand anything, and I'd be fine again, finally…

But suddenly Kai passed through me and took they key's from Ray "You'll stay with Tyson" he announced coldly, making my stomach sink, and a gasp escaped from my lips. Kai wasn't an idiot… And he slept really light. Then again I smiled a little hoping he'll take Kenny instead of me… Ray would be difficult to trick too, but not that much… Although…

"I want to be sure he and Max won't sleep late, being stupid like usual" he finished his sentence. Making me freeze again. He would never take Tyson instead of me, even if he wanted to torture him…

He turned around and faced me "Here" he said and raised the key with the number of our room, and I stared at it "Make yourself comfortable…" he said and, it might was just my imagination, but I would swear I heard a challenging tone in his voice. But there was nothing I could do now… So I just reached and took them slow, only to notice my need had became more obvious, and I tried to keep my hand steady. Not that anyone was to notice. I was sure none of my teammates had suspected the tiniest thing. No, never. Not me.

I walked to the stairs and stood still for a moment looking at my feet, thinking to myself 'What if he walks in and find out?' I thought, because I was thinking of taking what I need till Kai come, then I glanced to him and he was just lifting Hillary's bag, with her looking at him with a stupid smile…

I never pretended much… It wasn't like me, even after I got into drugs, I wouldn't pretend, unless I had to, to keep my friends happy… But this… Gosh, I really had started dislike this girl a lot… I shook my head and ran up the stairs getting in my room fast, just the time the others were getting out of the elevator; I closed the door, before they had the time to talk to me… I was sure Tyson would tease me about how to handle living with Kai… But I didn't care to hear this and neither was I in the mood.

The moment I saw Kai with Hillary once more, every worry of being caught was pulled back in my brain. And all I wanted was to take what I needed, so I immediately dug through my stuff to find the couple of the little injections, each closed in a plastic bag. I couldn't afford more when I bought those… After I hided the rest, well in my bag, pushed it on one of the two beds so Kai would know this one is mine, and threw my jacket next to it, just after I rushed in the bathroom and turned on the water so Kai would think I was showering. After I locked the door and sat to the floor.

I stared down at the injection filled with yellow liquid biting my lips. My heart was racing, and guilt started coming back. I shook my head and pulled it out of the plastic. I swallowed, but as my desire fired up, any dough was washed away, I stretched my arm on my knee, my back resting against the bathtub, as I slowly dug the needle in my skin. Making me bite my lips once again, but this was from sick pleasure, and I let a low moan, as the heroin was getting in my system, I leaned my head back on the bathtub, closing my eyes. I pulled the needle out, without caring of doing this carefully, and let it fall on the floor.

Now everything was going to be ok. It was ok that I was alone. It was ok that the thing I had turned into didn't bother me. It was even ok that my unreturned love was obviously meant to be… Everything was ok.

A smile appeared on my face… I'm sure I still looked innocent as always… Even in a place like this, in a condition like this. If someone was seeing my cute innocent smile, they wouldn't suspect a thing… I'm just cheerful as I should be. As everyone loved me. My parents, my teammates… I don't know what my crush was thinking of me... but my cheerful act seems to be in his likes… If only he could love me, like I do…

That was the last thought I remember. The poison had taken over me and I couldn't think clearly or control my actions. I could not hear Kai walking in our room. Or knocking the door of the bathroom. Nothing… But I was happy and cheerful… That's what mattered.

But I was far not innocent anymore… This was quite an act… Even to myself… Then I couldn't hear my deeper self yelling at me I had to stop. That this was wrong. That it was all fake. And that this wasn't me… I just sank in the moment of pleasure, my medicine gave me…

**Kai's POV**

As soon as I was done with helping Hillary, I walked to mine and Max's room. I didn't take so long. But Max was already in the bathroom. Once again I was getting closer and closer to the conclusion I had at the begging… And it was time to make sure.

I walked to the bathroom's door and knocked a couple of times "Max?" I asked.

No answer. I couldn't hear much, the water was covering every sound Max would be making… Although it was obvious he wasn't under the water… And there was not movement under the water. So he probably was sitting somewhere else… I heard a soft laughter, but nothing else.

I bit my lips and turned to his bag. It was the perfect chance…

I walked straight to his bed and opened the green sack at once. I took out his stuff slow, not to mess them. Soon I found what I feared I would and pulled it out. A syringe filled with amber colored liquid in it, which I could guess was heroin.

I got up sighing and shook my head glancing at the still closed door of the bathroom. It really had crossed my mind but I would never have really believed it, I mean… come on! It was Max! But I guess, no matter how hyper and carefree he might look, he too had his demons… And he had fallen in a hole with very dangerous snakes… And I had to drag him out. Yes I know what you think. But even I have a soft side. I tried it for a whole season! I do care for my teammates. And this was more than just a fight, or a betrayal. Max's very life was in line right now…

I shoved the little pack in my pocket and sat to the bed… I had guessed Max probably took another one, just a while ago when he went into the bathroom… I feel bad I left him harm himself once again. But it would be the last.

I sighed and lay back watching the roof. I wasn't sure what I had to do. The little blonde was the person who would hide in the bathroom just to hide a cut from us so we wouldn't be worried. He never complained or asked for help really… He didn't want t be trouble… But now he had trouble… I could not imagine how he got into this stuff but he did... And he needed help… My problem was that I didn't know if I had to mix others to this… For tougher people, rehabitation was huge problem. What about little Max? I could try help him cut it alone. But even this, even if I told the others, could he handle it? I dough it much… Even if I told the others, either to his parents, even if he was going to a rehabitation center… It would probably be too much for him…

I sighed once again, and decided to have a talk with him at first…

To Be Continued...

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_End Chater one. Ugh... I've never wrote such a story before... Actually I rarely even write any fanfics.. Hope its goo. Please r&r..._

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki  
_

_What Lies Beneath (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	2. Chapter 2: Dear Agony

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words.**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi.**

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**Break My Fall**

**Chapter two  
**

_**Dear Agony**_

**Max's POV**

I woke up shivering. When I opened my eyes I was still laid on the cold floor of the bathroom, and my head was aching really bad, like every morning…

From the pale light which was coming in from the little window, I could guess it was really early… The water was closed. I don't remember when I did this, but sure it was me who did it, since the door was locked from the inside, just as I left it. I groaned and used the bathtub for support to roll over and stand up, only to end on my knees, leaned over the bathtub and before I had come to my senses I started throwing up.

I panted loud and opened the water once again to wash away what had come out of me. I didn't know why this happened… It was too early for a withdrawal; I just had my use some hours ago. My throat was sore and burning and I had a bitter taste in my mouth. I stared the water drag away every proof and I sat on the edge and looked down at the ground to see what I had to hide.

First of all I lifted the syringe and wrapped it in toilet paper, hiding it well, before throwing it to the rubbish bin… My headache hadn't stopped… Actually I think it was getting stronger, in every move I was forcing my body to make… Something didn't go well… Or I was just used in this much and needed more to affect me…

I shook my head rough fully in the thought, only managing to make it hurt more… So I got undressed and sat in the clean now bathtub… I opened the water once again, but this time it was running on my naked skin, relieving pain a little. When the water ran on my face it was like blessing… My hair sank back from the water, and I laid my head back relaxing… I needed some normal sleep… Passing out after the end of the effect of my medicine, wasn't what I needed… Actually, it wasn't what I wanted…

I had plugged the hole of the bathtub, so it soon was full, and I was relaxing perfectly and calmed… I let myself slip in the water fully. I was under the water for a while… My eyes closed, my ears covered with water, any sound I would make wasn't to be heard… I was too relaxed that I could have let myself drown without noticing… The again… An image of my friends and family crossed my mind

"Ah!" I sat up suddenly, panting, and splashing around the room with my sudden movement. I sat still panting, horrified by my own action. Yet why? That was what I was doing… I was killing myself… Slowly… Day by day…I had to admit it… And I had to stop it…

A whimper escaped my lips and I pulled my knees to my chest hugging them. I started crying soundlessly, gripping my own hair when I heard a knock on the door and jumped a little.

"Max?" it was Kai… He didn't sound mad or anything… Just his usual voice… "Are you ok?" or maybe… a little concerned?

"H-Hai!" I said doing all I can to keep my voice steady, although not just my voice, but I myself was shaking "I'm just having a bath… You wanna use the bathroom?"

"Again? No, I can wait…" with this he walked back to his bed.

I got up and pulled the plug out, so the water would go down, and I stepped out of the bathtub, wrapping a towel around myself and looked around. My clothing was wet from my panic attack before… so was half the floor, so I had to clean it... But first I had to get dressed and all…

I unlocked and walked out of the bathroom, with my hair still flatted on my head, dripping to my neck and chest. I still had a towel around myself, when I was in the bedroom and walked to my bag, quietly.

**Kai's POV**

I managed to sleep only late… I was very troubled by what I had found out… And I fell asleep only to wake up at 6 in the morning with a thumb at the bathroom. I immediately got up, but before I reach the door I could clearly make out the sound of Max vomiting and panting loud after and I bit my lips… He was probably worst thank I thought he was….

I heard water and guessed he was cleaning… I decided not to announce my presence then, so I returned and sat to my bed.

From the sounds I got, I realized he was having a bath for real this time. I got up again, only when I heard a violent splash and got worried. I stepped out of the door and was about to knock when heard a whimper, and then silence…

"Max?" I asked "Are you ok?"

"H-Hai!" I heard the trembling response of his "I'm just having a bath… You wanna use the bathroom?"

"Again?" Idiot… He wanted to convince me last night that he had a bath. And right now it was 6:30 in the morning… He was so naïve, and innocent after all "No, I can wait" I finished. I didn't want to panic him with my suspicions or he wouldn't get out of there… And I didn't want him to feel trapped so I walked back to my bed.

Soon after, the door of the bathroom opened slowly and he stepped out.

I lifted my gaze to his white figure. He had just a white towel around him… The difference between the towel and his skin wasn't so big I must say… And also, I was right. He had lost weight… Actually with his baggy clothing I couldn't see it. But now it was clear. He was skinny and… kind of femine…

He made his way through the room to get some clean clothes from his bag, as his hair and he himself was dripping to the floor, but I didn't say anything, even if he glanced at me worried a couple of times.

He walked in front of the wardrobe and opened its door, so I wouldn't be able to see him while he was changing.

"It's not like I'll see something I haven't seen before" I said before I could stop myself. But it really seemed funny to me. Ray was changing really carelessly in front of me. And the blushing virgin here was something new. I shook my head. I didn't really cared but I felt like he wanted to hide something from me… Maybe his weak body? Or the holes of the needles?

He never answered my comment. After a little, he sat to his bed, dressed in clean clothing.

"You slept well in the bathroom's floor?" I asked and he lifted his wide innocent eyes to me. Good god… He always looks so freaking innocent; I can't believe he's in something like drugs… He's a child… And a very happy child… What led him there?

"I didn't sleep on the bathroom's floor… I came out and back in while you were asleep…" lies do not suit him…

"When?" I asked coldly, which I regretted, because I felt like I was pressing him against a wall. He was griping and letting his blanket nervously, his ocean blue eyes staring at me.

"W-when you were sleeping…" he repeated...

I couldn't control my glare, in his childish reaction; I sat up to my bed, facing him.

"So, between two and six. You came out of the bathroom. You got your sleep, and got up to take a bath, huh?" I keep pressing him, but I don't do it in purpose… "Did Ray tell you I'm torturing the people who share a room with me?" I asked hoping he will be less scared. Because he was very scared… Even someone blind would be able to see it… He had stuck his spine against the wall, his eyes were wide and filled with fear, and he had curled up his knees and held his blanket in front of him, as if he expected I would get up and hit him any moment.

"N-No…" he mumbled in a whimper. Such a little puppy…

"Then?" I asked him. Sounding again harsher than I wanted. Max was terrified and I only made it worst.

Just then, we heard a loud knock on the door and turned to the door. Max ran and opened at once, grabbing the chance of skipping to answer me.

**Max's POV**

Kai had literally stuck me against the wall… Why was he making all these questions? I got really scared in the thought he might knew something. My life would be destroyed -even more-. So when the door knocked I was more than willingly opening in the next moment, only to face Ray.

I smiled "Good morning, Ray!"

He smiled back, gently, his pretty amber eyes staring at me "Morning Max, Morning Kai" after a nod to Kai's direction he looked at me "…Your hair is wet".

"I got a bath…" I replied smiling sweet.

Ray raised his eyebrow "Again? When we seek for you yesterday evening, Kai said you had a bath yesterday too"

"Ugh… Yes, but…" I mumbled trying my best to think an apology, which at the end came from Kai.

"The genius here got covered with chocolate milk, just when he woke up" he answered lifting an empty bottle of milk.

I stared at him, speechless for his lie, to cover for me… I couldn't imagine what was going on in his mind… But it saved me, although Ray didn't seem really convinced…

"Alright…" he replied "In an hour we'll go train" I was surprised Ray gave such an order, since Kai was our captain, but I nodded and looked at Kai.

Kai had his eyes straight to Ray's and they stared each other for a moment before Ray walk out. And then… I was again left with Kai… I feared he would start the questions again, but he didn't. He just got himself ready and walked out of the room, telling me where to meet them when I was ready, which I actually was... I took a look around the room, placed my Beyblade in my pocket and followed Kai.

**Kai's POV**

Ray was suspicious. He knew the reasons I had gave were lies. And very bad lies. He knew back then I covered for Max with another lie and he wasn't happy by this, although I wasn't sure about what he thought I was planning for Max. But I couldn't let the truth out... Not yet, I hadn't talked with Max… and I didn't when Ray left either. This wasn't the right time… In the evening… when we would return to sleep I was going to talk to him… When his need will be back and he'll seek for his poison. That will be the moment. Until then, I would just keep my eyes on him.

We were in the training room, a couple of hours now. Max and Tyson were battling with their blades lively, teasing each other while their blades were rough fully hitting each other.

I and Ray were standing behind Kenny, hearing Dizzy's comments during the battle. She said Max's power seemed lower and lower every time they trained and she was checking on him…

It was to be expected… What he had been doing to himself do not had momentary effects only… It also had more ones which lasted, and they were showing now…

"Come on, Max! Wake up, wake up!" Tyson yelled and I looked at Max. He smiled and ordered Draciel to attack, looking lively but I could tell he wasn't. If I didn't believe pitying means lack of respect, I would say I pitied him… He was in a hell. And wouldn't decide to come out.

Ray's hard grip shook me out of my thoughts. He caught me off guard and dragged me out of the door of the training room, closed the door and glared at me.

"What are you doing?"

I raised my eyebrow "What am I doing?" I asked honestly.

"When I came in the room, Max was panicked… And I'm certain you lied about him a lot. I don't snore! You did something to him?" he tightened his grip on my arm. It didn't hurt but it started getting annoying.

Is he serious? "What do you think I would do to him?" I replied to his answer with an answer, staring calmly at him.

"Kai… What is going on?" he growled.

I stared coldly at him, yet I was thinking of telling him what I found out… No, I couldn't… I didn't have this right. Not before I had some talk with the child.

"Something…" I answered, staring his eyes. This time it was no cold. It was simple concern. I felt his grip soften on my arm and fall.

"What?" he asked, calmer too.

"Something bad…"

I heard him swallowing as he stared at me, and kept quiet for a little, then he turned his gaze away.

"You have noticed it too, haven't you?" I asked.

He turned his cat like eyes to me again and nodded slowly "I thought it was just my imagination and I didn't paid attention…"

"Can you keep Tyson and the others busy tonight? I wanna look at it a little…"

He nodded slow… I was sure he would ask something else but he just walked back to the training room staring the ground.

I stay still there for a while and sighed. My arms her in my pockets, something I rarely do and I felt Max's poison to the corner of my fingers, which was still there…

I walked back to the training room.

Max was sitting next to Tyson, drinking some cold drinks. They both looked cheerful, although Max was looking really tired. I looked at Ray and he was watching Max worried. He really did notice the signs that sth was wrong with him too now…

By the afternoon, I had regretted telling Ray that something was wrong. He kept his eyes stuck to Max who had started having withdrawal symptoms.

When we sat at the hotel's restaurant for the last meal of the day, Ray kept asking Max, now and then if he was ok, if he needed sth and stuff like that. Max thought kept answering him cheerfully that all was ok and that he shouldn't stress himself.

I got a cup of coffee, because I had guessed a long night was to come… And it would probably be just the first of many… Gladly, Ray stopped being so obvious after some hours. In contract with Max's withdrawal. Every time he lifted his spoon or sth his hands were shaking too much.

Tyson on the other hand was full of appetite which he was pleasing with half the table. He stopped now and then to make a silly comment, when Hillary was glaring at him with her arms crossed and was taping her foot.

I was concentrated to Max's reactions. And I am pretty sure, from the tapping of Hillary's foot, to the munches of Tyson, they were driving him crazy… He needed his poison and I knew he wouldn't be as patient as yesterday to get it… His eyes looked pretty different and scary. Not innocent at all, as he stared the sources of the sounds, with wide eyes. Ray's attention was taken from Kenny, and he didn't notice this scary sudden change in the angel of the team… Who obviously was fallen long time…

**Max's POV**

Ray's overrated, and without reason I might knew concern, was nothing in front of this. This was mad… Every freaking sound made in the room sounded as if someone had turned the volume to lever for breaking glass. But instead it was pounding in my head. I couldn't take this. I needed relief. Every thought I had the same morning of quitting was just a blurry memory that didn't mattered right then. I needed my medicine. And I needed it Now.

I got up with a smile "Guyyyyys! I'm going up" I said loud so Tyson would hear me through his obsession over food.

"Already?" he asked muffled but I understood it, and after he swallowed his huge mouthful, impressing me "It's early you big baby!"

I stuck my tongue out at him "If I wait for you to stop eating, I'll never sleep!" I giggled and walked out of the restaurant.

As soon as I did I started running, and was too soon rushing into my room. My heart was racing, my body was shaking, my breath was running but I didn't care. Actually all I cared once again was this.

I started madly looking through my stuff. Practically, I threw the inside of my bag out, and soon rolled it over, searching… But it was nowhere. I was sure I had a second syringe with me… I didn't know what I would do next, but this one, I had to take it! When I couldn't find it in my bag, I unthoughtfully started messing the room, looking at every corner with no logic, when I heard the door open.

I wasn't thinking… Not clearly at all, my mind was blurry, and I couldn't understand I was depending more and more on it… I couldn't think any of that then…

Kai stared at me, still for a moment… After he closed the door and glanced around at the messed up room, and back at me calmly "Looking for something?" he asked.

I stood up, shaking "…"

Then he took sth out of his pockets. It was my gold! He had taken it! Can you believe this! My eyes widened in the sight of it, and I jumped toward him, screaming "Give it back!" I jumped against him and he stepped back. Surprisingly, even in my condition I didn't expect that. I was to reach what I needed, but I didn't need to… Kai… My crush, just help the little pack in front of my face.

"Here" he said coldly. I couldn't and didn't want to read him then. I just raised my hand to take my medicine. Behind the gold liquid I saw then fearful his angry red eyes. I started shaking more. My hand was touching my need, but I was scared…

This was Kai… Kai, my teammate, my captain, and big-time my crush… And he knew the other side of me now. My eyes widen staring at his. Then I just grabbed my gold and ran as fast as I could in the bathroom, I closed the door fast and tried to lock it, but I was thrown back, I tripped over the bathtub and fell in it, hitting my head back, but not hard. I raised my eyes to the doorframe, where my captain had just kicked the door open, throwing me here… And he looked mad….

**Kai's POV**

I never expected this to be so bad. When he grabbed the pack I was caught off guard. I didn't expect he would do this… But he did. This thing had taken over him, and he couldn't help that he needed it anymore…

He ran to the bathroom, trapping himself like a little child who just broke a vase and didn't want to be punished, so it hid in the closet. But no. He had broken sth much more important. He had broken himself. I only hoped it wasn't too late to place the pieces back together…

I ran to the bathroom door before he had the time to lock it and kicked it hard. From the weight I pushed, I could guess, Max was pushed back kind of rough. I stepped in only to see him thrown in the bathtub, staring at me with fear.

First things first. I thought and grabbed what he took from me just minutes ago.

"No!" he screamed, as I threw the liquid in the toilet and flushed as fast as possible, and I threw away what had remained.

He jumped up and tried to take the needle, hoping to get some relief of the remains. But it never came to his hand again. He screamed loud when he realized he couldn't have what he needed, which once again, caught me off guard… Just a day without it, and he was in such condition… How could he handle more?

I gasped when he jumped to him me, but he was light and weak, so I easily grabbed his wrists and pulled him against the wall, making him let a cry.

He stared at me horrified. His body was already complaining badly, and I could see it clearer than ever. But what worried me most was how bad his mental damage was from the lack of heroin.

Tears start shape rivers on his, once rosy cheeks. His once adorable, lively, innocent eyes, were now just empty and pained, as he started sobbing, I stared at him.

"Why…?" he whimpered "Why? What have I done to you?"

It's been long since the last time I felt my heart ache… I don't know what was worst. The fact he was so hurt, because of that shit? Or that he really seemed to believe I threw the heroin away, because I wanted to hurt him…

I could feel my blood pressure rising as I was staring at the fragile form crying in front of me. As I could feel him shaking at the end of my hands, while I was holding his wrists tight. I was pissed, but not by Max himself. I was pissed at what he had done to himself. How he kept hurting himself until now…

I gritted my teeth, and pushed him rough fully close to me, I turned his back to face me, and wrapped one hand around his waist to keep him to me, and the other was on his neck to chin, forcing him to look front, when I turned around to the mirror.

**Max's POV**

His grips around my wrists, hurt much, but the way he forced me to look into the mirror and his words hurt me more.

"Look at you Max" he growled to my ear, as I felt his chest on my back and his hand kept me looking at my reflection…

I looked pretty older than 15 and I kind of reminded me corpse… My hair was a mess. This morning it was washed and looked shiny and fresh like usually, but now it looked like the color had faded out, and it was messed in a way that reminded all but myself. My eyes were swollen and darker than usual. I could see the fear in my own eyes, even if I could also feel it… My skin was paler than ever, and my body had taken the shape of what there was under my skin…

I could also see Kai's reflection over my shoulder. His angry determined eyes, staring at me from the mirror, his strong arms keeping me still… He's so strong, I wouldn't have any hope if I tried to escape from this grips. Although I tried to turn away from the horrible sigh of myself, which only made him force me harder to look at the mirror.

"Look at yourself Max. Look at what, this thing turned you to! This is not you, Max, you know it!" he said trying to convince me, and only managed to hurt me more.

"You don't know me!" I yelled, and my eyes which had just stopped filling tears, they filled again and I looked down crying. Thankfully this time Kai, didn't forced me to look up. And soon he also wouldn't be able. I could already feel my knees weakening… At the same time, I had difficulties breathing because it had got really fast, and the air wasn't enough to fill my lugs. The most I cried, the less I could breath, till Kai, pulled me back and let me kneel, falling on the four, I took some desperate breathes, but it wouldn't get better… Then I felt Kai's warm touch on my chest, giving me a pace which I tried and slowly followed, so I could breathe again normally…

"Good boy…" I heard him whisper to my ear, as he was pulling me to a sitting position on my knees. I felt his chest rising a lowing once again against my back. I felt so weak, and pitiful. And Kai was so easily handling me… As if I was some kind of puppet… but somehow in his hands I didn't mind much… I had thought all my pain was gone at that moment, then I realized everything was becoming dark, the room spinned and soon faded in black. I fell to nothingness.

**Kai's POV**

"You don't know me!" he yelled and brusted into tears again, sobbing hard. My arms around him loosened a little and I felt his weight on my arm as his powers were giving up of him.

I didn't know if he was right when he said I didn't know him... I had wondered that before, myself, but this wasn't the right time to worry about how well I knew my teammates. I had one of them in my hands and he was in terrible condition… I could feel him suffering just by trying to breath. I made him kneel really easy, since he had practically left himself to my control. I pushed him to lean front, and he supported his body up, with his palms on the floor. I leaned over him and placed my hand to his chest, giving him a pace to breath (I could feel his bones under his shirt), and I was relieved he actually obediently set his rhythm to the way I was moving my hand, on his chest… Soon his breathes were coming out normally again.

"Good boy…" I whispered this silly comment, hoping he would calm and trust me.

I sat up and pulled him along. Once again he didn't tried escape from me; he left his back, rest against my chest. It didn't take me long to see that he didn't have a choice… He was slowly passing out… Soon I was holding his unconscious body, laid on my lap… I slowly got up, lifting his skinny figure. His limbs hanged unconsciously to the sides, and his head fell back. If I couldn't hear his weak, tortured breathing, I would think he's dead. I stepped in the bedroom and laid him slowly to his bed. After I sat to mine and watched over him till the first daylight stroked his face… His nightmare had only begun...

To Be Continued...

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_Chapter two end... I hope you liked and that the two sided point of view isn't too tireing... please R&R_

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_Dear Agony (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	3. Chapter 3: Phase

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words.**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi.  
**

* * *

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter three**

_**Phase**_

**Max's POV**

I came to my senses slowly as the daylight came through the window, only to find myself covered with cold sweat, shaking violently. The muscles of my limbs were twitching rough fully reminding me my need. My body felt heavier than the day before and generally, there was no part of my body which wasn't aching…

I couldn't come to open my eyes. The facts of the past night were blurry carved to the back of my memory, but I had the general image and I feared what I might face when I opened them. I didn't know what Kai did after I passed out… I was scared that he probably would have called an ambulance, or told the others. That was the logic thing to do…

I feared deeply of facing the cold white room of a hospital when I was to open my eyes. I feared somewhere in the room my father would be standing worried sick, and disappointed… And my friends, they would be looking at me like a stranger. All that they'd seen of me was a lie, that's what they would believe… And I feared their rejection more than being locked up in a room of a rehabitation centre… Not that I longed for this of course… But if I ended up there, the rejection would have come first, so it was double hell…

However, I couldn't catch any smell that reminded me hospital… You sure have noticed the scent you get even when you pass the front door of the hospital… Here there was nothing unfamiliar. So I bit my lips a little while deciding to open my eyes.

I half opened my eyes, blinded by the morning light which came fresh, through the half open window. I was still in my hotel room. In my bed. Covered with a thin blanket which wasn't making me feel warm at all. I didn't move at all, fearing I would give a reason to my body to yell at me more. My eyes alone traveled in the slightly lighted room. Outside I could hear some passing cars, and if I had to guess it should be around 7, when everywhere was taking off to their jobs… I couldn't see very well because of the light, straight on my eyes, so I crawled tactfully, as if I was afraid I would wake a sleeping monster, away of the light and scanned the room.

It took me a while to realize that the dark, leaned shadow on Kai's bed was a person. Kai himself. I examined him with my eyes, quietly. He was sitting to the head of the bed, with his back against it and his head dropped front. His knees slightly folded above the covers, and with the clothes he was wearing the last evening. His hands were crossed still, but I could tell he was asleep. I closed my eyes and concentrated on him. His breathing was slow and quiet, but he left some sounds now and then through his breaths, which were unusual for him (yes, I've sat and watched him sleeping in the past…) so I could tell he must have been really tired when he fell asleep. And probably he hadn't even planned it…

I don't know if I was thinking well. My fear had taken over me, for what could happen when my captain was awake. All the scary thoughts from before returned. I didn't want any of these to happen. But then again, if I was running away now, what better could happen? I wouldn't have to face them, yes, but still... I needed them all… It was late to say this for some serious matters but I did.

I felt my vision spin for a little and closed my eyes tight shut. So many thoughts. Pros and Cons hitting on each other, never setting a balance which would help me decide what to do. And they kept coming, making my head throb hard. I felt like I was deep in a maze with no chance of finding an exit. Wandering around eternally.

The time was passing and I still couldn't get to a decision. And the physical pain didn't help at all. I still had my eyes shut tight, and was shaking unstoppably. A whimper escaped my lips in one of the harsh twitches and I curled to myself, catching my breath and hoping to warm myself a little with this pose, when I heard movement.

From the sounds I was getting, I understood Kai was awake and had just got off the bed. I heard him walking close to me. He stopped in front of the bed for a moment. I felt his hand on my forehead, in a gentle way I didn't knew Kai could give. I didn't move, except of the shaking which hadn't stopped. Then he walked near the door. I heard the closet opening, and some sounds I couldn't tell the source. I heard his steps, approaching me again, and I felt a second blanket, heavier and thicker covering me, warmly. I don't know if it was because it was made for heavy winter, or because the person I loved so deep had placed it over me… My heart sank as I felt his touch again. He stroked my hair softly, warming me more than the cover did…

**Kai's POV**

His whimper got me up… I didn't want to fall asleep, but I was glad I found him there when I opened my eyes. I walked to check on him… He looked weak and vulnerable still and maybe even more now… I touched his forehead with the backside of my fingers. Although he was covered with cold sweat, the skin beneath was warm, and I knew it would get warmer later if he wasn't taking his drug. But I wasn't planning to let this happen… It would be difficult, but I wasn't planning on letting him roll down the road he had taken more.

I grabbed the thicker blanket I found in the closet and covered him with it, as quiet as I could. I didn't want to wake him up. I knew two things for certain. One: he needed all the rest he could have, and two: things would get too difficult with the little blondie over here…

In the last thought I stroked his hair frowned. I am not good with emotions, or how to express them. So I didn't knew how to explain him, he needed help without sound mean. I mean, it's my nature, that's who I am…

I sighed and got up (I had folded my knees to low close to him) and opened the window, keeping the shutter half closed, and pulled the curtain over so the light coming in, wouldn't bother me or Max.

I made my bed and took a shower till the others were awake (I was closing the water every two minutes to hear any movement in the bedroom). Still, I hoped Max would be awake before the rest, so I could talk to him. I had thought of taking his place to the upcoming tournament, saying Max was sick. But the withdrawal would stay for weeks. Until then we would be back, and all were to be revealed then… It was just matter of time… And also, Tyson is a very impatient person and he cares for his friends… In that case, he wouldn't stand not to see Max if I said he was sick. If he saw him, even if he didn't understand what was going on to him, if he said it to Max's father…? Again all out…

I sighed as I was getting dressed to come out of the bathroom, never leaving my thoughts. Or better, they never left me… Ray could help in this. The biggest possibly was that he would know soon what was going on with Max. I trust Ray. He's responsible and mature when he has to. He would be able to even convince Tyson not say anything to Mr. Tate… If we were lucky, by the time we would be back at home, Max's withdrawal symptoms will be less obvious…

I walked in the bedroom, drying my hair in a towel, thinking over and over, every possibility to help Max, with the fewer victims possible (by victims, I mean the people who would get affected by Max's condition, except of him)… There are always holes in plans, and when you're pessimistic like me you see them for sure…

A weak grip to the back of my shirt made me stop my way to my bedside table, and look back and down. I didn't need to try hard to guess it was Max, since only the two of us were in the room. His dark sapphire, puppy eyes were staring at me pleadingly, as his shaking arm was still gripping my shirt weakly.

I looked at him, as non-coldly as I could. Practically, I was concerned, but my face rarely manages to reflect what's going on in my head, so I feared I might even glare at him, without wanting it, which I might did, because he whimpered, but it might had just been a pain from his condition.

"Please…" he said with low and weak voice, trembling as his grip tightened as much as he could "Don't tell anyone…" he pleaded staring up at me. I could sense how scared he was from the tone of his voice. And I knew it wasn't because of the lack of his poison. He feared what I could do now that I knew his secret…

I got low to his height, as he was laid to the bed, once again. His childish eyes followed my movements as he drew back his hand, and curled it to his chest. One more act telling me how scared he was.

"I won't" I told him, resting my arms on his bed, one above the other.

His frown didn't change. It remained, messing with the features of his innocent face. He must have been suspicious, so I completed my sentence, kinda risky but more convincing.

"Not as long as I don't need to…"

He winced, and bit his lips for a second "What do you mean…?" he asked, never taking his eyes from mine.

"You have to stop this… I'm willing to help you, but if your condition become critical, or you take this shit again, you'll need someone else to help you… And I'm not planning to just let you, go down this road till you reach the end… It's not too late yet… You can come back…"

He stared at me quietly and then turned to the ground. He forced himself in sitting position, and I could see how much in pain he must have been. Now that he was sitting on his knees, he was higher than me, but I didn't get up. I just looked at the boy in front of me, waiting patiently for his response…

**Max's POV**

My body ached a lot as I made myself sit up, but I tried to ignore it as much as I could… If Kai wasn't giving me another choice after all, this pain would soon be harder…

I stared down at the bed, between me and Kai's arms. I couldn't make to look at him when I made my question… I was once again pitting and feeling shame of myself…

"Wh- what if I don't want to…?" I asked without managing to have a hold of my voice's trembling. I expected Kai to get mad at my idiocy, and give me a harsh answer, before throwing my responsibility to someone else.

But he didn't. When he replied, his voice was as calm it was and before.

"You do want to..." he said and lifted my chin up, to look at him with a soft move "You're just afraid you won't be able to"

I left a cry and looked away. I didn't do it on purpose, but he was so freaking right. I was very scared of this. I never considered myself a very strong person… I deeply doubted I could manage to get out of this hell. And if I didn't? How more disappointed my beloved ones will be…?

I looked down again as my eyes became watery once again. Kai was strong, and he always had waited the same from his team. He should have been disgusted by how weak I was. Not that he didn't know. I've always been the weak one… The child, the easy target…

My body hadn't stopped aching for a moment. But the mental and emotional pain that had took over me, had pushed the physical to the back. Still the dizziness was still obvious and stronger since mixed with emotions which were pressuring me...

I looked down to my captain. He didn't look annoyed by my weakness. His eyes were calm and honest, telling me he understood my pain. If he could see deeper of my pain…

"Can I have some water…?" I asked quietly. My neck was dry and as I said I was very dizzy…

Kai got up instantly after my request and brought me a glass of cold water. I reached out for it, but he sat next to me and held it for me to drink. Luckily. Cause with my trembling I would have washed the bed. However I placed my hand above his, so he would low it when I didn't want more. Someone who would have checked the glass wouldn't have understood that somebody drank from it…

Kai sighed and placed the glass on my bedside table.

"Are you ok?" he asked, typically. I shook my head staring down and he sighed again.

"You are right thought…" I said, and he looked at me quietly "I'm very scared…" the last words came out with a sob, and I broke down crying again, without thinking I dropped my face on his chest and clenched his shirt, crying with sobs.

I felt him tensing in this… I thought he would push away, but I couldn't help myself I needed him… I was relieved when he calmed and run his fingers through my hair. It helped me calm as well little by little…

"It's ok to be scared…" he whispered after a while that I had been clinging to him. My sobs had eased, and the tears were flowing slowly. I had already made his shirt wet, but he kept stroking my hair soft and calm without caring…

"Thank you…" I whispered back.

Honestly, I was happy that I was half in his lap and he never pushed away… Maybe the reason wasn't what I would like to, but still I've never thought I would live such a moment for real… I was still scared and in pain... But feeling him so close was something that seemed to ease them all… Maybe not chase them away, but still it was a big relief…

I was about to tell him I'll do my best, to go through this, when the door knocked, and I sighed disappointed. I had just found the courage to tell him I will try and I didn't. Not a big ideal you think? It is. Because later I might lose this courage…

"Lay down, I'll say you're sick…" he said low and pushed me gently off him to go open the door.

I nodded and curled to myself under the blankets. I knew they wouldn't be as good as Kai's lap, but at least I wouldn't feel too cold… I closed my eyes but couldn't sleep again. All the pain that had been forgotten before returned now, and I had to deal with it… I tried keeping the scent of Kai's flesh, so close to me, hoping it would distract me from the pain…

**Kai's POV**

I kinda blocked when he collapsed, crying on me. I'm not used in physical contract, unless I am the one who is attempting it, or when I'm warned first… Although, I comforted him as I could… Ok, everyone knows I'm not made for this stuff… But at least he seemed to calm down little by little… He had pretty much soaked my shirt, but that was the last thing I worried about…

I was stroking his hair, and I whispered the first thing that came to my mind to make him feel better…

"It's ok to be scared…" quite a thing I didn't believed. Growing up like I have, fear is what makes you victim. The weak one. But he thanked me, so I guess a little lie now and then, to make someone feel better is not that bad… After all, this is and matter of point of view…

After a while, a knock on the door was heard. I could guess from the tone that was either Hilary or Ray. Tyson would have knocked loud enough to wake the dead. And if it was Kenny I wouldn't have heard it.

"Lay down, I'll say you're sick…" I told him, as I was slowly taking him off me. I saw him curled under the blankets when I had my hand on the doorknob, so I opened and walked to the corridor to talk, holding the door behind me slightly open.

Ray stood in front of me piercing me with his cat like, amber eyes. I stared at him coldly.

"Morning, Ray"

"Good morning, Kai… So… you found out what's going on with Max? I've been worried sick. And all I did was keep Tyson… Not such a pleasant opportunity ya know…"

Indeed not a pleasant opportunity, heh.

"Yes, I found out what's going on" I replied keeping my voice low, so Max wouldn't hear me. I motioned to Ray to low his volume and he did, without questions.

"Is it bad?"

"Yes" his suspicious eyeing changed to concern.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I cannot tell you right now… I will though soon, because I'll probably need your help…"

"Why not?" Ray complained, raising the volume of his voice.

"Just trust me… I will take his place in the tournament. And we must convince Tyson that he's just ill…" I replied, keeping my voice low.

Ray didn't look pleased at all with my answers. After a long pause he sighed and turned his gaze away from mine.

"I hope you know what you're doing…" he replied frowned and took some steps away, and then stopped and looked at me again "Can I see him for a moment?"

He didn't trust I was saying the truth… But with the titles I had got during the last years I couldn't blame him. However I wasn't sure, letting him see Max was a good idea, but if I wanted to have the right to ask for his help later, I should trust him, like I wanted him to trust me.

I opened the door and stepped aside to let him walk in first. He crossed the room quietly, approaching Max. He sat to his side quietly and leaned over him to check the sleeping boy properly.

I stayed to the corner of the room with my arms crossed. I couldn't see how Max was right then, but I decided it was better to give Ray space, so he could have his idea.

"Max…" he whispered and nudged him softly.

I noticed the goldish hair roll to the side and rise lightly, as he turned to face his teammate. I heard a weak reply, which was meant just to inform the older teen, he had his attention "Hm…?"

Ray glanced at me. I got the message and walked out of the room, so he wouldn't think I'm threatening the little Max or something. I stood out of the half closed door. I couldn't hear their discussion. Although I was sure, Ray would just talk and Max would nod or shake his head… I didn't care what they were talking about. Either was I concerned of having Ray's trust so badly… But as I said, it might come out to be useful in the future, for Max's sake.

And just when I hoped my problems will ease for a while, Tyson popped up from his room.

"Morning, captain!" he yelled, unexpected hyper for being just awaken "Did you ate my buddies? I've lost them"

I simply stared at him coldly. The stupid smile melted and he just returned the cold and annoyed stare.

"Ok, where's Max? He looked awful yesterday, what did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything, he's just ill"

"Max? Ill? No way, did you kill him or something?"

"Max is a human too you know. And if it was you in his place I would have a reason to kill, but now I didn't"

"You might train him to the point of exhaustion! I know you could! Or kept him up, lecturing him on 'How to become a selfish, cold and emotionless bastard, by Kai Hiwatari'"

"I did not" I never found Tyson's comments clever, or funny. But I usually found them annoying. And then was one of those times…

"Let me see him" he ordered with his fists clenched, as if he would hit me if I wasn't obeying. Not that I would, but I was also not in the mood to pick a fight with Tyson, so I was glad when Ray walked out.

"Max is resting, Tyson" he said gently, stepping between us "Better not bother him further".

Tyson glared at me, and my expression stayed simply blank and cold. He huffed and followed Ray down, after he got suggested on tasting some new ads on the buffet.

I shook my head and returned to the room. Honestly, I did felt a soft annoyance in my stomach which meant I might needed something to eat, but I didn't felt like leaving Max alone. When I would be to the tournament, I had thought of requesting Hillary to watch over him, or at least make sure he'll stay in the room.

Right then thought, I had to make sure he'll have some energy, to deal with the upcoming difficulties, so I called the reception and ordered some breakfast in the room. I was pretty surprised, to meet a couple of huge blue eyes, staring at me when I put the phone down.

**Max's POV**

I got a bit tired to listen to Ray repeating I could count on him for anything, and that I have nothing to fear from him, and that if Kai was being meant, I could tell him, or ask him if I need the tiniest thing and all. It's kinda sad the way everyone sees Kai. I'm not exception. I haven't seen that he actually does have a soft side, up till then. I believed what he let us see… Although I'm not a masochist. Just so you know, I didn't fell in love with him, just because of his looks.

I had seen… No, I had noticed things which were showing he didn't were what he was showing. He didn't wear a mask. No. His attitude of coldness and everything were real. But they weren't what made his character alone. I had seen other sides of him.

The day he compete for the team in Tyson's place. He didn't do it just because he didn't' want to lose. He did it for us.

The day he blocked a Beyblade from hitting Ray. He protected him willingly.

The day he put some sense in Ray when he compete with Mariah, he obviously understood our friend's feelings…

There were many moments in the past years we have spent together that told me, Kai is perfectly a human…

Like the day he saved me from being crashed by a door in my mother's lab… I think that was the day the seed of my love for him was planted… And believe me when I say, it has become a huge rose tree… Why rose? Because of the thorns of course…

I was cut out of my thoughts when Kai entered the room after Ray had walked out. I rolled around and looked at him. His back was turn to me as he was talking on the phone. It got me curious, since… It's an act unusual for Kai (yes, I still have difficulties to see him doing stuff which are perfectly normal for the rest of humanity). I got his words and understood he asked for some room service.

He turned around and let down the phone. Just then he saw me watching him.

"You're awake. Good" he said and took a seat to his bed, watching me "You better eat something, they'll bring us some breakfast"

I nodded. I found quite cute the whole protective and brotherly like Kai in front of me "Thank you" I muttered.

"For what?" he asked, absently.

"Everything…" I replied, although he still didn't seem to understand what he had done for me. I would analyze it for him, if my body hadn't started aching again. So I just closed my eyes and tried to get over it.

"Hey…" I heard him calling gently and nudging the bed with his foot "Don't fall asleep yet" he finished, the same time he got up to reply the knock on the door. I heard him pushing the track with the food toward the bed and stopped it between our beds, after he walked to me and shook me really soft "Max… come on, eat something and you'll sleep again after…"

Not such a wise suggestion if you want my opinion, but it was very kindly and concerned placed, so I just blinked and sat up slow. Thankfully I had stopped shaking at that point, I watched as Kai took his seat opposite me to his bed and took a glass with apricot juice, drinking it slow, as.

I looked down at the breakfast, and it only made me nausea… I wanted to puke, just by looking the stuff that in a normal day would seem like a delicious meal to begin the day with, what if I was eating some…? I glanced at Kai, and in a manga page, I would have a couple of neko ears, flatted on my head while being a chibi to the corner of the page, by his stare.

He was just looking at me quietly yet coldly. I thought I should just move on and eat a little bit… I crawled closer to the track and hanged my feet off the bed. I reached and covered some toast bread with marmalade and butter. I was glad I managed to eat two of these; since I was sure I would just throw up in the first bite. My stomach felt pretty well thought I must admit, and I couldn't blame it, heh. I was hungry…

Kai on the other hand, just ate a croissant without filling it with anything after the juice. He never ate much; he kinda made me think of him as Spartan some times. A giggles escaped me in this thought and caught his attention, but he didn't seem willing to ask. I, however, noticed a soft smile carving on his lips for some seconds. He was relieved… That some of the Max he knew was still in me…

That thought gave me mixed feelings. Once, Kai actually had paid attention to me… He knew some of me… On the other hand… was the thing he knew really me? Or was it just the person I was trying to be…?

Just then I realized Kai and I aren't so different. We both show some character, which is based on our personalities, yet we hide a lot under it… But... Maybe everyone is like this?

I had heard a theory once, saying that every person on this planet has three selves.

The first one is what the one we show to the others. Or what the others think of us. The second is the one we believe of ourselves. And the third is which we really are… So maybe my entire try to find out who Kai is, or who even I am, was pretty much pointless, since it is in our nature to never discover.

I believe people change through the conditions. We act differently, and yet we still can't be sure of what our own actions will be when we think of something happening to us than when it actually does happen… Confusing huh? For me indeed. My head hurts.

I jumped lightly when suddenly Kai's hand was close to my face and shuttled my eyes unthoughtfully, leaning back a little. But Kai just touched my forehead gently, like he did earlier.

"You have a fever" he said calmly "It's not high yet thought" he continued, and stood up, dragging the track out of the way and to the corridor for the waiter to take it, after he walked in again and pt on his gloves and scarf "Try to get some rest while we'll be in the tournament. It's the first rounds today".

I hadn't forgotten, although the thought of being left here alone, didn't sound good. I was scared… And also 'rest?' how much more rest? But all I came to mumble after all was "Ok…"

"You have cold water, and a bucket" he continued placing the bottle full of ice on my beside table, and the rubbish bin on the floor "For anything else, Hillary'll be in Tyson's room so she won't be far from you. If you need anything tell her, and please stay here" his monotone tone was pretty much annoying me right then… But I just agreed once more.

He placed his Beyblade in his pockets and walked to the door and paused with his hand on the doorknob. I raised my sight to him, and he was so concerned when he looked at me…

"Be safe…" he whispered and walked out, closing the door quietly after him.

I was left alone after all…

To Be Continued...

* * *

_I am not really glad with this chapter. It was pretty boring to write, but I had to fill some plot holes that I didn't want to appear. Like "why the bladebreakers dont bother". Come on, they couldn't just disapear. So... Thanks to the readers and... please read and review if you want, it'll make me rally happy ^^_

_Uh,** Ninja2k **thank you so much for your reply 3 It made me happy! Ha im sorry I took long, but I'll try to update soon, thought u must know im pretty much lazy XP. Anyway, I'm glad you like the analysis and everything, I feared it might be pretty tireing... Ah and of course lil Max can have his demons too ;3 Dont die! I updated!_

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki  
_

_Phase (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	4. Chapter 4: Forget it

Seriously, if I just didn't got the idea I wouldnt bother writing since getting no reviews is pretty upseting. And the more hurtful is that I do get views which makes me thing, that simply the story sucks thats why people dont bother leaveing a comment. Anyway, I would like to ask for forgiveness for adding the part of my current musical Obsession, but I couldnt help myself, ah and sorry for mentioning one more of my obsessions too X 3 I know it came a bit out of it, but I wanted to get deeper in Max's thoughts and I think I feated it with the musical. If not perfectly, well at least pretty well. Well... Please leave some reviews... Please please? *puppy eyes* even if you like this story a little bit. If you want it updated ne? please? Ah... anyway I'l stop droping my pride here. Thanks to those who are reading my story anyway 3. Enjoy~

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. ****Ah! And also, Im not expert of drugs or withdrawals and all! Be kind if it seems unreal...**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi.**

**Disclamer in the ending  
**

* * *

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter four  
**

**_Forget it_**

**Max's POV**

I was staring blankly at Hilary who was sitting on Kai's bed opposite me, pulling books out of a bag, which was set on her knees and told me a short summary of each.

It had been three hours since my team had left for the beginning of the tournament, so I knew they would be back anytime now. I was not the slightest worried, since always in the first rounds we face starters. None of them would be match for either of my teammates.

Although, obviously right then only I was in trouble. Hilary kindly wanted to entertain me and make me forget about my condition, so she said she would read me something, which alone sounded tiring and pointless since if I wanted to do something I could watch TV. But that wasn't the only problem, I'm kind of tired to repeat myself but I was still shaking and a while before Hilary appear I emptied my stomach to the bucket Kai had provided me with. So right then I was in pain, hungry, dizzy and yet I had a girl going all motherly over me.

Don't get it wrong ne? I know Hilary is worried and means no harm, but since she is so clueless of what is really going on with me, she only makes my life difficult, making me suppress and hide my pain which seemed to become more and more difficult every damned moment. And my patience has dangerous problem right now. I'm not violent person but seriously, I felt quite an urge to hit her anyway…

"Ah, and this" she said lifting an other book which also seemed too serious and philosophical for my likes "Is basic Astronomy".

I forced a weak smile looking at her "Seriously Hilary…" _don't you have at least one comic? How do you read all this stuff…? _"You don't need to read me anything. I'm fine, I'll just watch some TV, go to your room and check how the guys went in the first rounds…"

"I'm sure they did fine don't worry for them!" she smiled cheerfully.

_I'm worried for myself…_

I sighed and shifted to my seat, holding my blanket over my shoulders. Hilary got up and walked close to me to feel my forehead, something I wanna mention she did every ten minuets, and also I should mention with the hand you don't always get the right impression of the temperature of the other person.

She sighed "I don't think it has fallen at all"

_I could have told you this myself…_

She got up and took the box, of the medicine she gave me, from the table and read the instructions. I saw her pouting and could guess it was because from what the box was saying my fever should have already fallen. However, luckily I had only 37.9 C (100.22 F) when she checked which is not at all that bad, yet she has take it personally as if she is babysitting and she's responsible for the kid until the parents are back…

After a while of having her taking care of me, I heard the door opening and lighted up a little, but sitting up and causing the wet towel Hilary had placed on my forehead fall, I saw Ray.

I unconsciously frowned lightly and he noticed, making me blush in embarrassment of how rude I acted without wanting it, so I rushed to fix a conversation.

"How did it go?"

He smiled kindly "Pretty well, as it was to be expected" he replied. Hilary clapped and cheered in low voice.

"Good" I answered trying my best not to ask about Kai. He should be the one opening this door, yet Ray was holding the keys.

Ray followed my gaze and smiled "I only borrowed them to come and check on you in case you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you up and I didn't know Hilary will be here" he said, his weird gentle smile stuck on his face, making me shiver again in the thought he knew what I was thinking. "Kai will come in a while, he said he had something to do" he placed Kai's keys on his bedside table and sat next to me, his expression changing to concern.

"How are you doing?" he asked softly. It was my turn to smile.

Ray… Always caring and kind. He is well going person, it is no wonder he has managed to come close to Kai, and get him to talk sometimes… I'm kind of jealous of him at times. Not just for his relationship with Kai, but for his determination and all… He has thought his shy side as well, heh we all had seen it, since Ray doesn't always hide his emotions. Actually he rarely does it. Usually he speaks what is in his mind, and also he is very careful with his words, he is not careless and he's also clever… No wonder he has so many fans huh?

"I'm ok, don't worry" I said. He nodded although we both knew he didn't believe me.

"Where did Kai go?" Hilary jumped in.

_Damn girl… As if only you care for Kai…_

Ray chuckled "Seriously, you think he would tell me?"

Hilary frowned and sighed in agreement.

I watched them quietly, as they started chatting about the opening of the tournament and the competitors, until Ray realized how tired I had grown from Hilary's voice and took her out saying I needed rest.

When the door closed, I was once glad I was left alone again. I opened the idiot box (aka TV) and watched as they aired a musical which played in Japan some months ago, it was called Kuroshitsuji, and it seemed to have just started. I stayed watching the act while my mind was already elsewhere.

It had been only two days that I stayed in my room and yet I was already growing homesick. TV was getting boring and lack of action was getting bad into me, yet I knew I wasn't capable for much action right then, so I shouldn't have so much spoiled thoughts.

I was taken aback by the musical, and didn't realize I had fallen asleep with my head on my knees only to see a replay of the act I had been watching, only with people I knew…

_I was standing in a crowd, in front of a stage decorated by a stairway, in what seemed like a luxurious mansion living room. I was wearing a Victorian era green outfit and held a cane with silver top while having an arrogant pose, unusually spoiled looking for me, although I felt really comfortable in this place._

_On the stage stood Tyson, dressed in a cook's outfit and with a couple of goggles hanging from his neck, to his left stood Hilary dressed in a maid's outfit and wearing a pair of round glasses which hid her eyes, and to his right was Kenny, with gardener gloves and outfit for countryside. They all looked excited, and they had just ended singing and dancing._

_ "What are you clamoring about for?" I said, making them pause their excited talk._

_"Erk!" Kenny yelped._

_"No way!" was Hilary's reaction._

_"Oh crap!" said Tyson last. _

_"This young man here is the renowned master of the BBA. The earl Max Mizuhara" I heard Mr. Dickenson announce without seeing him anywhere._

_ I paced straight to the stage. My three teammates which seemed to be my servants here, bowed, as they greeted me._

_"What are you fooling about for at this early hour?" I spat at them, with a cold look which even Kai would be jealous of._

_ "Well, there's the feast of your chess tournament to begin tonight, so we thought of having a little preparation for the opening" said Tyson._

_"Has there been a positive result since you 'Lived up'?" I asked pointing him with my cane._

_My 'servants' seemed a bit distressed at my comment._

_"Of course there hasn't" I replied my own question after all "Not once. Honestly you amaze me"_

_"Young master…" said Tyson with a smile, and made a motion telling me to stop flattering them "Aw, please stop…"_

_"It's not praise. It's sarcasm" I said narrowing my eyes._

_Hilary rushed toward me "W-We're so sorry for waking you up so early!" she finished with a deep bow, receiving only my cold and emotionless stare._

_"No need, I was awake" I replied._

_"Then you were listening to our song!" said Kenny, with a cheerful face._

_"I was not listening! I heard it against my will!" I growled at him "Besides, what reason do you have to sing while working? And after all that's not song for opening feast"_

_"Then what kind of song-"started chief._

_"As if I care" I spat turning my back to them, while pacing on the stage "Why don't you ask him?"_

_"H-Him?" mumbled Hilary while her and the other two, looked around the stage._

_"Him you mean…" said Kenny curiously, and then Mr. Dickenson's voice echoed in the room again._

_"Last but not least" he said "Is out extraordinary captain, Kai Hiwatari"._

_The same time, the lights went to the top of the stairs, where stood Kai in a black butler's outfit. Of course when Mr. Dickenson said "captain" it was meant to my servants alone. _

_Here, Kai is my loyal servant too._

_"Should your fate lead down a winding path of thorns" Kai started singing, in a quick rhythm which sounded so foreign yet so good of him. His face was also decorating a devious smile while he sang, among noble motions "Should you choose such path I shall stand by your side. Hand on my heart, with unshakeable loyalty. Allow me to become your defensive sword. That is my mission" he finished the first part, resting his hand on his chest._

_I smiled. That is what I like to hear._

_"Even in the midst of a storm?" asked Tyson._

_"Even then" stated my faithful butler._

_"At any time ever?" asked Hilary, always all of them in singing tone._

_"Calmly" replied Kai again._

_"In the presence of our master?" asked Kenny while kneeling at my side and motioning to my direction softly._

_"Nothing shall detour the peaceful sun to rise" said my loyal servant once again._

_"Mizuhara's…!" said Hilary again, presenting Kai with her hands showing the top of the stairway._

_"Butler" said Kai proudly, and made me smirk in satisfaction._

_"Our role model!" yelled Kenny, copying Hilary's previous motion._

_"That's my role"_

_"That's our man!" smirked Tyson._

_"Fulfilling expectations, that's all" Kai walked down the stares, ignoring the love dazed Hilary who was watching him with her hands joined under her chin, and made a couple of soft movements to feat with the music at the background._

_ "I wonder" he said then pacing to my other servant's way "Set that aside. Aren't any of you aware of the time?" he said with a gentle move of his gloved right hand toward the workers which had placed themselves in a line._

_ Kai walked toward Tyson as he began talking in music tone again "The soup isn't ready yet"_

_"Kay, got it!" replied Tyson, as he waved his hand and rushed away from Kai._

_Kai walked to the next which was Kenny "When can I expect the weeding be finished?"_

_"Gomenasai!" yelped the terrified teen as he feel on his knees, with Kai standing behind him, but left again to go to Hilary who was all joy and blushing idiot._

_"Someone broke our assembled collection of Rosenthal china" he stated, while Hilary was swinging her pigtails around. She blushed more and joined her forefingers, knowing she was the one who did it while Kai finished his sentence "Am I correct to assume it was you?"_

_"H-Hai sir!" she yelped rushing as well away of the butler. As he continued once again his singing._

_"Now, honestly. You servants. Are truly careless. Be more aware of your status!"_

_Tyson, Hilary and Kenny started screaming and running around in a desperate try to catch the work they had been neglecting. I watched them with a smile hidden in the shadows, at how helpless they seemed, while I was upon them in this. Strong and stable._

_ I made my way to the stairway, thinking it was my time to make my presence and power over them, obvious with leavening._

_"This is ridiculous" I said, looking at them from the middle of the stairs "I'm returning to my room" at the last phase I turned and finished my way up. Only to be stopped by Kai's voice._

_ "No, young master" he said with kind and soft voice. I turned and saw him walking toward me "Excuse me, but today's schedule calls for your attention" with that he stepped up the stairs, and stopped two stairs before the top, and bowed offering me his hand like in a ball "Well, the preparations are finished" he smiled._

_ I took his hand and felt warm and safe. My arrogance from before seeming to have faded to the back of my head somewhere. He walked me down the stais and for having the other three looking at us, I drew back my hand and walked away from him, while he kept singing "My only duty is to serve you well"_

_ The trio rushed toward me happily praising me while Kai made his way to the front of the stage, never ending his tune "Please, Give it to your humble servant. I've given you my body and soul, and so any command will receive my eager reply. Yes My Lord" ended the song._

_At the end the trio once again, made a fuss with clapping and cheering but Kai looked only at me and smiled gently "Might a song like this please you?"_

_You can't imagine how much… I mentally smirked, staring at him._

In a try to roll to a more comfortable position because I was still curled over my knees, I fell off the bed only to wake up to reality.

I blinked several times, and scratched my head yawning. Naturally during a withdrawal you become insomniac, but after that dream, even me being able to rest seemed normal…

After I was starting to get conscious of my surroundings, I turned to the idiot box. The musical was still playing, it was a funny scene with the girl I dreamed Hilary as fighting clumsily some zombie things. I chuckled and used the bed for support to get on my feet.

I led myself to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

Mess was the most suitable word for my sight, but mostly it had to do with my still half asleep state, so I washed my face and fixed my hair a bit. I was shivering less than when I fell asleep, I was also less feverish and the pain of my muscles wasn't much noticeable at that time. Gladly.

Walking back to the room I looked at the clock on the wall. At such time most people should be resting to be fresh again in the afternoon, so I thought of risking getting a little fresh air. Then I got dressed, made myself viewable and hoped I didn't really look paler than Snow White as I walked out of the door and downstairs to the hotel living room. Just then I saw Kai sitting in one of the couches, reading a book from the ones that rested on the central table to make the waiting of the visitors more enjoyable.

I blushed deep just by his sight as I recalled the dream. I tried not too laugh, and wished with all my heart Kai didn't in any way read thoughts, or I would be doomed.

Seriously now thought. All the thought I had made during my dream, seemed all so much out of character for me, yet they were all so honestly placed… Could I really be so slob and arrogant somewhere inside my mind too?

Well… I guess it's only natural.

My father had one said that anyone is capable of committing a murder, then why not being able for every existing emotion and attitude? Arrogance… We all should be somewhere, no? It's only natural…

Yet…

I stared Kai who still didn't seem to have noticed my presence.

I had seen my teammates and I enjoyed being their superior. I looked down at them and I loved it as lust… I saw Kai serving me and felt satisfaction…

Well… Once again I'm having a pointless inner fight.

I sighed

_Forget it…_

The first role is usually what everyone chases after, after all. Why not me?

**Kai's POV**

It's really difficult to find some things. I was lucky to be able to pay someone to get what needed.

Methadone.

I'd looked enough, and even more tried to not get in trouble. At first I thought of morphine, but I feared he might just trade his addiction then. Well, Methadone could do well now if things got too bad. I wouldn't like him having an other breakdown, but this will happen sooner or later, there's no point. I can only try to get a hold of his physical pain right now.

Well, anyway. After my whole search, I ended up back to the hotel and found out that Ray was stupid enough to leave my keys in mine and Max's room, leaving me outside. I didn't want to go ask one other key, or wake Max up, so when he didn't answer when I knocked the door I simply went and sat to the living room of the hotel.

Luckily due to the time there weren't many people coming and going. So I ended up reading a Death Note novel. Can you believe it? Which normal hotel puts such things in the waiting room? Anyway, not that I had problem, I just had read that book before (Yes I do read manga; I'm a normal person after all).

Somewhere in the middle of the book, I heard someone stepping in the living room, and after a while a sigh which made me look up, as I recognized Max's light voice before it. The young boy stared at me.

I gave him a quick examination with my eyes while placing the novel aside. He looked healthier than the very morning, although he was not ok, obviously.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me.

_That should be my line, Max…_

"Ray forgot my keys in the room, and I didn't want to wake you up, so I was going to come again later and knock once you would be awake"

He stared at me, with his wide blue eyes and then all of a sudden he covered his mouth, and I heard him trying to not laugh, which irritated me.

"What's so funny?" I asked before I could hold myself.

"Nothing" he said smiling brightly at me. It eased both my irritation and worries. That was a face I had started to miss. So, whichever was the reason, even if it was against me, which made him laugh like this, I was glad.

"What are you doing down here anyway? You could get nauseous and fall"

I saw the color of his cheek change and become light pink, for reasons I could not guess, since his temperature shouldn't be change suddenly. He tugged on his own sleeve and looked away switching his weight from feet to feet.

"I got a bit homesick, I needed fresh air".

"Fair" I replied.

Honestly now, If I was in his place I would have gone crazy. I hate being locked inside, it makes me feel caged, and it kind of reminds me the old days in Biovold. I wouldn't be able to stand so much time indoors. I'm somewhat impressed by him and it's only the beginning. I wonder how long it will take till he breaks.

Max made his way to the couch I was sitting, and sat beside me, lifting the book I was reading at the same time, he looked at it, curiously at first and after he just smiled and left it down, as he curled his knees up to his chest, and rested his hands on the top of his knees.

I watched him silently, and he looked at me with an unusual smile for him, as if he was waiting to see if I was recognizing L's pose.

Now, now… Such a kid Max. It's not time for games, and even if it was. Pick your opponents.

I sighed and crossed my arms, taking my default pose, I looked straight ahead coldly. I heard Max shifting again. Probably he changed his seat to a more comfortable one.

"You should return to bed…"

"Later…"

After some long time of no further words, I felt a weight on my shoulder and turned to see the blond resting his forehead there. I heard his breath to have sped up, and stroked my fingers to his cheek soft, only to make sure his fever had risen again.

I knew his body would go crazy at some point, and have temperature changes out of nowhere, so I wasn't the slightest surprised, neither got too worried since I knew I couldn't do anything (which I don't need to mention it annoyed me like hell).

Max twitched, and whimpered lowly.

Without asking him or any warning I lifted him up. I left a little yelp coming from him; as his palms turned to fists griping on my shirt, and the girl in the reception pause her pc card game to looked at us, with a bubblegum coming out of her mouth. I merely ignored her.

Seriously, some people need to get a life. I'm annoyed with every person that doesn't just mind their own business. At the back I heard a little "pop" and some cussing followed. I smirked satisfied at that, knowing that the careless work girl taken aback from the view had added too much air in the bubblegum and ended up getting covered by it.

When I walked out of our room, I was glad that Tyson's door was closed, and no one seemed to be approaching. I didn't want either Kenny or Tyson to see Max in such state. Tyson was already too worried for his friend, and I didn't want it to get worst, and Kenny would get panicked which was also something I wanted to skip. Things were already difficult here.

I stared at the door and mentally sighed and cussed at myself.

_You do not have keys…_

As if he read my thoughts, the little boy in my arms, reached weakly to his pocket and pulled out the key, his other arm, wrapped tightly around me as if his life was depending on it.

I let him set his feet on the floor to open the door, but he kept his arms on me, so once the door was open, I unconsciously lifted him up again, and kicked the door closed soft. I walked straight to his bed and laid him down, but when I moved to stand up, I only felt the force of his arms wrapped tight around my neck and his face on my neck, clinging tightly.

By then he was shaking violently, and his fever had hit red. He whimpered loud and wouldn't let go of me.

"Max…?"

**Max's POV**

"Max…?"

_Don't let go! Don't let go!_

My eyes were desperately wide open as I was clinging to him for dear life, and once again, my body was trying my limits as every inch of it screamed in pain which had came and rose so strong so suddenly. Yet as he was holding me the pain wasn't as bad, and the burning felling which had took over me seemed to ease before it turn me to ashes.

He is warm too, but in a so different way, he doesn't burn, he comforts like the Christmas fire in the fireplace for the kids which wait their presents from Santa. But here, I am having all I want, I can hold on it. I can be spoiled right now, and I want to.

"Max, calm down, I'm not going anywhere…" he whispered, as he returned the embrace to calm me and stroked my hair gently.

My eyes flattered close at the sensation and I left myself relax a little, without freeing him at all. He didn't seem bothered to hold me, and before when the girl looked at us, he didn't seem to care at all what she was thinking… But probably it didn't even cross his mind, what that girl had though at our sight… What most people would think at that sight, yet it wasn't true… Even thought I would like it, it wasn't…

At the last thought finally, I felt too tired and freed him, laying back. I opened my eyes to look at his concerned crimson ones staring at me, as he was still slightly leaned above me. I could see how worried he was, and I also was kind of embarrassed from my previous action, and got even worst when he stroked my face and brushed with his thumb my tears. I hadn't realized I was crying. Just then I yelped a little and rushed to rub my eyes.

Kai watched me quietly but didn't say anything. He simply looked worried. I should be looking really childish at that time… Gosh how much embarrassment… I just keep looking more and more pathetic in front of him…

I felt his hand again stroking my face and I emptied my mind, leaning in the touch which seemed to wipe everything away…

After a while that I had calmed and had managed to eat something, he left to train with the others. The rest of the afternoon I passed reading some manga Kai had borrowed for me from the living room, and watching TV.

Kai returned around eleven, and seemed a bit annoyed. I knew this should had been cause of Tyson, so I didn't asked, or even talked when he walked in, took off his shoes, gloves, scarf and fell to the bed sighing. I thought he had already fallen asleep, when I heard him talk a simple phrase.

"Goodnight, Max…" after this there was silence.

I kept the TV open for long enough so it would provide me light to watch him while he was sleeping. He looked so calm and peaceful, but it wasn't surprising to me anymore… No, not at all, this was Kai. My teammate, my captain, my friend, my crush…

My mind had gone blank once again while I was staring at him. I turned the idiot box off, but kept staring him in the darkness. Earlier he had given me some painkillers and my pain had eased right then, so I wasn't interrupted of watching him…

Without thinking I forced myself soundlessly off the bed, and sat to his side. He didn't flinched at all, neither did he rolled or anything. He continued breathing slowly in his deep sleep.

I ran my fingers on his cheek over the blue tattoos softly and smiled. I never had the chance to do this before, or even if I did, I hadn't… He's softer than I expected, he isn't but two years older than me after all, what did I though?

I leaned close to his face, and I was shaking again, but not because of my condition. Our lips were almost touching, and I felt as if someone had dug his hand to my chest and was crushing my heart. I bit my lips soft, feeling sad, but I couldn't do it. That wasn't how it was suppose to be… If it is either this, or never having it. I'd rather never have it…

I moved to leave the bed but changed my mind again and curled to his side, blushing lightly as I pressed my body close to his. My eyes fell on his face to make sure he continued to sleep. Luckily he did.

I sighed and allowed myself to spoil a little more, as I stayed curled close to him, hearing his breaths, breathing his scent, and touching his warmth. I left the night pass like this, at least this was not a dream and I was myself…

To be continued~

* * *

Now... Honestly I think Ray was the most suitable for Sebastian's role, but since I wanted Kai in it, he couldnm't suit... Also, too much Max's POV and too little Kai X3 But I find it a cute chapter ./.

Hop! Hop!

Max: *bows* Please review for an update...

Kai: Actually, please review to see more Max x Me.

Max: *blush*... Review for more angst...

Kai: ... Review so Max won't die.

Max: ... Just please review...

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_Kuroshitsuji Musical (c) Yana Tosodo_

_Death Note (c) Tsugumi Ohba & Takeshi Obata  
_

_Forget it (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	5. Chapter 5: You

Sooooo... I'm half asleep =w= its 4 in the morning, and I wrote it aaall in once... If u see anythign weird, blame it to my sleepyhead XDD Ne ne! Im gonna fix it tomorrow... ./. Nah. Guys **this story ****will NOT**** be discontinued**, just be patient.. I had this major block T3T But I think I'm better now 83 please tell me your opinion, and it it gets tiring... I dont want to... Um... thanks for the favourites, the alerts and the reviews ;w; they all made me smile...

So... This chapter doesn't have much Max and... I'm jumping stuff, but the other 4 were... um... Well, I just though it was going ot get etremely tiring if I kept it up this way... it would never end =w=... Much Tyson! And Ray Pov for first time 83 please pease please...

Review and make me happy! I'll update sooner if u encourage me!

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. ****Ah! And also, Im not expert of drugs or withdrawals and all! Be kind if it seems unreal...**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter five  
**

**_You_**

**Kai's POV**

I hadn't slept so deep in a long time, my body had gone limb and I was perfectly numb. I had a dreamless but restful sleep, and woke up with a pleasing warmth. It took me a while before I was perfectly conscious of my surroundings, and figure out the source of the warmth was the sleeping boy laid to my side.

I blinked a couple of times looking at his curled figure. I couldn't see his face since his hair was blocking my view the way he had positioned himself next to me, but he was obviously sound asleep. I shifted and sat up fully awake now, and took a better view of him.

He kind of reminded me dog… Or better call it puppy… He was pretty adorable to begin with, like the puppies that curl close to their mother to get warmth… That doesn't mean I feel like his mother of course, it was just a though!

I didn't need to ask why he was there, he was unsafe and scared for all I knew, so maybe being close to me made him feel safe. I have shared a bed in the past with a relative, a girl, or Ray, so it wasn't really awkward from my place and Max never showed to face any problems with physical contact between him and others (just like any kid) so I didn't paid attention. I stood up and fixed the blanket to cover him. He wasn't shaking much so this should have done for now.

I made my way in the bathroom keeping my movements even quieter than usual, I doubted he would wake up from the sound of the water, so I just got my shower, without bothering to close it every minute and check if my roommate was awake.

Truth to be told, I wasn't stopping to overwork my mind over him. I had found no solution about how I would keep his secret till he was clean. It was just… Well… If not impossible, then highly-doubtable possible.

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my own hair, relaxing in the soothing feeling the warm water provided.

The condition was not in the slightest pressuring yet… Ray had a hold of Tyson, but he was the tinier obstacle I had to face to keep Max's… Case… Hidden…

It was like the millionth time I was thinking this again, since I had promised Max I wouldn't tell. Well, it's not like I was going to give him out but… Come on… It's not flu, even someone as blind as a bat would be able to figure out, something was VERY wrong…

As I stepped out of the shower and dried myself, my mind was still working. I'm not giving high rate to myself, but I am clever, yet I couldn't think a way to solve this… Well... Maybe… Instead of finding a way to hide it… I should do something entirely different…

_'Traitor!'_

I flinched at the sticking memory of the voices calling me so and looked at my reflection as I griped the towel that wiped my hair. Half my face was covered by it, so I just looked through one eye. I was expressionless as usual, but my blank glare was not there. I was simply empty.

_I don't want to be called like this again…_

I sighed once again and pulled the towel down, letting it rest over my shoulders. I leaned over the sink, my hands resting on each of its side. My glare had returned a bit, but I didn't paid attention. I was reconsidering my thoughts.

Even when full crowds had gave me the so called 'traitor' name, Max never used it. I didn't like the idea of giving him a reason to use it now… It wouldn't feat him, and if it did, it would mean something more is destroyed… For both me and him…

I rubbed my face shutting my eyes for a moment.

_That's selfish…_

It really was a very selfish though of me… If I was telling him out… It might be better for him in the end, even if he came to hate me... But… I just… couldn't come to do it…

_'Please… Don't tell anyone…'_

I griped at my bangs annoyed. I couldn't take his pleading out of my mind… His shaky voice, that face he did, how fragile and hurt he looked… I just couldn't. It kind of felt like I was going to abandon him that way…

_…I'm growing sensitive, Voltaire won't like this…_

I chuckled at that though, and passed it fast since it held no importance at the moment.

I turned to the mirror again, looking straight at my face. I had told Max I wouldn't tell anyone, unless he took drugs again, or his condition became critical… I nodded at that though. I wasn't going to betray him. In the end, if I had to I would use the windows I left open in our agreement… No, in my promise… That was the right word. Agreement sounds even more emotionless than my current expression...

_I'll give it time._

I didn't like either idea (of him taking drugs again, or being in critical condition) but I wasn't going to let this go this far. But for now I was going to use my patience on that.

I was fully dressed as I stepped out of the bathroom and my hair was almost dry too. I looked over at my bed, where Max laid still, sound asleep. I made my way quietly over there and looked at him.

I found myself calming at the sigh. He was still curled in fetal position, holding the blanket warmly around him. Thankfully he didn't seem to be in pain right then, fact that satisfied me a lot. I was perfectly conscious that it was probably the calm before the storm, but as long as it was going to last, it was relief.

Talking about storms, I turned my gaze to the clock on the wall. It was around nine, so the storm of the team should either be deep asleep right now, or cussing on whoever was trying to wake him up…

I normally was training hours before Tyson got up… But well, here I didn't have the needing space, and I couldn't just go out to some street and leave Max alone… I noted to worry for my physical condition later.

Once again my eyes traveled to the sleeping child.

Except of how to cover him, another sticking question was haunting me… How the hell did he end up like this! People say bad companies do such stuff, but most time he is with us… He could get like Tyson eating everything for all I know, but… No. Seriously, I never thought I would have a reason to prefer another Tyson above all…

Well, as for Max, It didn't felt right to ask him, and I am not the one famous of being tactless. Tyson is… But… not asking him and asking him in a tactful way are different things… I kept another note to ask him.

Once again I ordered food in the room, and sat on Max's bed, reading one of the manga that lay on his bedside table, while I waited for him to wake up.

**Ray's POV**

I had been rather stressed since I talked to Max the previous day… I had come to a conclusion of what was going on, but I feared to admit it even to myself and also I found kind of… Ridiculous for Max. I even felt like I was dishonoring him, thinking that way but…

I sighed and shook my head.

_You can never be sure…_

My instincts told me I was right but I ignored them, as I was glaring at the onigiri I was shaping, just when I got the rice out of the rice cooker. Cooking actually helped me calm at the best of times.

It was around nine in the morning right then. When I went to the kitchen our room included was around half past eight. Kenny and Tyson were both asleep and Dizzy was plugged to fill her batteries.

I couldn't come to get some more sleep back then, and I already had an uneasy night. So I started doing what I enjoyed best after beyblading. Cooking.

My mind was occupied with concern for Max, and my hands were shaping the rice-balls, so I was taken by surprised when Tyson poked his head in with a smile and talked.

"Morning, Ray!" he said, making me squeeze the current rice-ball I was making. I looked down at it and growled low.

"Oops…" Tyson chuckled sweat-dropping "Sorry, buddy".

I took a couple of breathes and calmed myself before talking.

"Good morning, Tyson" then I came to realization and my eyes widen a bit as I eyed him. "Tyson!" I turned my gaze at the clock immediately thinking I lost track of time as I was cooking. But it was actually only 9:15…

I looked at my teammate again, and examined him with my eyes. He was still in his pajamas, but something was missing… His waking hangover!

He chuckled again, looking at me "I know I'm good looking, no need to aw over it" he said as he supported his back on the counter, grabbing one of my rice balls he started munching on it.

I raised my eyebrow "How the hell you got up that early? Are you sick?"

"No, the smell of your cooking raised me to heaven"

I smirked "You aren't in heaven, you're in the kitchen, and you're eating my oh-so-precious-just-made-onigiri".

"Make sushi for lunch" he grabbed his second rice-ball.

"I'm NOT taking orders, Tyson! And also, the hotel has a kitchen, buffet, and three paid meals for the day" I replied, stuffing the onigiri away from him, in a lunch box, before they disappear.

"Then why are you cooking in the first place?" he asked, trying to get another rice-ball, not seeming to understand my effort on saving them.

I pulled his hand away softly and placed the box in the oven, ignoring his pout.

"Killing time" I replied and started cleaning the stuff I used to cook "May I?" I asked him, as he was blocking my way. He rolled his eyes and went to the table.

As I was cleaning there was a short time of silence. I knew if he had something to say, he would in less than ten minutes, after all his patience doesn't last longer than that… Actually, he can' be quiet for longer than that. He. Needs. To talk. I suppose it's in his nature.

I didn't check the time, but it should be around that time that I heard his voice again.

"Hey…"

I rolled my eyes and smiled softly, as I was washing the last dishes. Tyson is always so… Expectable… He rarely surprises me, and it's only when he's in a full mood… But no, not really… He never surprises me anymore.

I knew he was going to continue, even if I didn't gave him an answer, but to make it faster, I just left a "Mhm?".

"Ray…" I got his rarely serious tone, and since he didn't go straight to the subject he wanted to make sure he had my full attention, so I paused my actions and looked at him over my shoulder.

"What's wrong with, Max?"

It was an expected question, but it came earlier than I though. Tyson cares a lot for us all, even if he's acting childish, he has a thing for his friends, but I didn't though he would be worried just in the second day…

"He's ill, you know that" I replied calmly, turning back to my washing.

"I know, but… Well, you and Kai seemed as if it was something serious. You didn't even let me see him!" he complained.

"He was sleeping. And you are loud. Not the best combination in my point of view".

Tyson rolled his eyes and looked away annoyed.

"You aren't hiding something, right?" he asked childishly.

I chuckled normally, although it was a rather awkward laughter, which wouldn't reach my friend for what I hoped "Come on Tyson, even if you don't trust Kai, don't you trust me?" I replied feeling kind of guilty in that.

"It's not that! You just-…" his voice trailed off. I turned and looked at him curiously, but felt even guiltier looking at the way he was looking at me. It was a mixture of anger, sadness and something I couldn't lay a finger on, which made me slightly concerned. Tyson is always readable. What happened now?

"I just?" I asked, wanting to hear the rest of his sentence, just to ease the feeling of discomfort that clouded me right then. Tyson never leaves his sentences unfinished, when he has something to say, he jumps and says it. Not caring what it might cause.

Tyson slightly glared as he stood up and then he returned to his goofy self, leaving me hanging "Nah, forget it buddy" he said grinning wide. It was pretty lifeless, but he covered it well… He patted my back and took the lunch box out of the oven, making me snap out of my thoughts.

"That's for the break in the tournament rounds!" I yelped giving a short fight with him to take it back, but he just laughed and ran off, hiding behind a half asleep Kenny, as he ate my creations.

After half an hour or so, Kenny had attracted Tyson's attention with Dizzy's new inventions, so I got the chance to go check on our other teammates.

I knocked the door and it didn't take long before Kai opened the door. I took a look in and saw Max giving me a smile and wave. He was sitting to Kai's bed and had a track with food in front of him and a blanket over his shoulder.

I smiled softly, feeling pretty warm at the sigh and not only that…

"Morning, guys" I said.

"Good morning, Ray!" Max replied softly smiling.

Kai nodded and stepped aside to let me in, but I shook my head "I'll go keep my eyes on Tyson, no worries I can handle of him" I said lowly, so only Kai heard, not very sure how true what I said was.

Kai just nodded slowly. He seemed normal, just a bit calmer than usual. For Kai, there's calm and calm. Meaning, he can look perfectly calm, but be like tiger in the cage in the inside, and being actually calm, which I rarely get the chance to see.

I glanced once again at Max, who had gone back to eating, after I looked at Kai again and he raised his eyebrow. I smiled at my own thoughts.

Kai is… A very smart person… His mind works in many ways, but… Some things just escape from him, because he doesn't even reach them. For example, Hilary's feelings for him are clear like glass, and he has noticed. But, he doesn't seem to have a clue for Max…

Of course I wasn't certain, but due to some… Things I had noticed around Max, I'd come to think he might have a crush on our leader… Poor kid.

Personally I was a bit… Somehow… Uncomfortable when I started noticing what might be going on in Max's head, but I got over it. I've started getting used in the idea and… Overcame a complex I had on that.

I highly doubt that there is even a chance Kai will return his feelings, so them staying together at a time like that makes me a bit uneasy. Max might end up deeply hurt…

"You need something else?" Kai's words snapped me back to reality.

I looked at him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

I chuckled and shook my head "No, I'm sorry I was thinking and got carried away. Well, I'll see you downstairs, Kai" I turned to my other teammate "Take care, Max" with that I turned and walked back to my room.

**Kai's POV**

Two days later, I had got used to find Max in my bed in the morning, and generally, our days were becoming routine. I waited for him to wake up, we ate together and I left for the tournament. We didn't talked too much, but we shared some conversations, although he was getting nauseas very usually and his condition was slowly but steadily turning worst. I wasn't very worried, I knew it was coming. His condition would be like a hill, getting worst and worst, until he was at the top, and then slowly pacing down. I was looking forward for the last part, where he would start getting better.

If there was a think I sympathized him to the maximum when he was alone, was that he had to deal with Hilary. Every morning that we were at the tournament, she was watching over him.

Ray had told her repeating that she could just go check on him now and then, but she wouldn't take it… It was pretty disturbing, she actually though she was helping but I was getting tired just by seeing Max's expression when I opened the door once we returned.

And as if we didn't had enough problems, that day Tyson left from the tournament running off with his face green. I didn't wondered how he managed to get sick, he eats EVERYTHING. Normally something of these had an effect on him.

Luckily it was the last round of the day, so I, Kenny and Ray were left to change in our lockers room, after the end of the round.

"That was quite a show"

I rolled my eyes, as that damned talkative laptop gave her report of the day.

"Don't get all worked up. We didn't even sweat" Ray chuckled as he fixed his hair back in the tail thing he has.

Truth to be told. I don't know why we even bothered to come to these idiotic competitions. They are no match for us. If they were, we would at least say we're keeping our reputation by fighting. I'm tired of not having a use for Dranger, but I don't feel like calling her just to show off. Tyson on the other hand, didn't mind, he showed off his Dragoon in every chance.

I smirked at the thought that his today showoff of typhoon made him want to throw up. He's pathetic.

"Do you think Tyson will be alright…?" Kenny asked looking up at us, as he left Dizzy load something, resting her on his knees. He seemed pretty uneasy for some reason.

"He'll be just fine chief" Ray answered, with a smile that let his fangs show.

"Of course, it's Tyson we're talking about" Dizzy said cheerfully. Kenny pouted giving her a glare I was unable to see.

"I think he overreacted" Ray said, treating Kenny with a dumpling, he gladly accepted "I mean, it was kind of… Overdramatic".

"Tyson would do anything to have everyone's eyes on him" the bit-beast replied once again sarcastically.

"Are you actually looking for some reasoning?" I asked looking at them already tired with the conversation "It's Tyson, he doesn't need a reason. He has no logic" I finished and shoved my bag over my shoulder.

"I suppose…" Ray said frowning and lifted his own bag "Come on, Chief"

The little boy nodded and rushed after us, walking to the back and letting us lead, keeping his head low and his laptop cluched to his chest. I suppose he should feel kind of exposed. Even if it's been a long time we are together, Max and Tyson were better feat for him.

I and Ray are the oldest members of the team, and maybe more mature than he is used to… Or probably, he just doesn't like that our logic is enough to not need his to maintain us.

Soon we were back at the hotel and paced down the corridor way to our rooms.

"Go see if he's alive" I said jokingly to Ray. He laughed soft and made his way to his room, followed by Kenny who hugged his laptop to his chest. I heard the neko-jii call Tyson before the door closed.

I took my keys and opened the door for my room. It was quiet. Extremely quiet, and Hilary's voice didn't rang around the room.

I blinked some times and closed the door behind me with a soft 'click'. Just then I noticed the figure that sat on Max's bed. It was Tyson, he sat cross-legged on the bed. His shoes were lying to the feet of the bed, and his eyes were staring straight at me.

"Welcome back" he spat.

I froze only for a second, before making my way in the room like nothing happened (as if Tyson could mock me). I left my bag next to my bed, were Max laid sleeping once again. I noticed he was twitching rough fully at times. I was used to it, but it ticked me off what it seemed to Tyson.

"Weren't you sick?" I asked and looked blankly at him, but was pretty taken aback by his expression.

His eyes were slightly narrowed, and he seemed to somehow hold back from bursting out and yelling or something. But also I could see he had a good enough idea of the condition to look concerned.

I knew very well Tyson didn't know what was going on with Max, but he could very well find out… Not to mention, he with his impatient childish behavior wouldn't stand to not know what's going on with his friend. To think he would fake all this just to come and see him…

You all know why I didn't though it was a good idea to not let Tyson see Max like he is now. But I should have figured he wouldn't let it be…

I just expected something more drastic… Like kicking down the door and demanding to see him… But he had succeeded. I and Ray both underestimated him in that. He knew we wouldn't count his an actual surprising plan from him…

_…Holy crap…_

I sighed.

_Of course, how didn't I figure…?_

Kenny covered for him… They both planed it. It made sense now. For what I knew from Max, Tyson had once skipped cleaning duties in class by playing it sick… I just didn't consider it.

So Kenny and Tyson were both worried, and planed this all just to get a view… What a waste…

"Are you satisfied?" I asked him, breaking the silence "You saw him".

Tyson turned his eyes away from mine. I felt more than annoyed at the point, as I was watching him, sitting there.

No, he wasn't satisfied. Even if he looked like an idiot afterward to go through all that, I knew he would be more satisfied if Max came out to have a simple flu.

"Where's Hillary?" I asked, trying to bring him back to reality, for no other reason, I was just worried he might burn his tiny brain if he overdoes it.

"In her room" he mumbled.

I was about to talk as he got up sighing and paced to the door, I watched him pretty surprised but I didn't let it show…

It was just… Out of character for Tyson! No questions? No threatening for answers? (Not that his threatens, threaten me).

"How come we don't have a fuss?" I couldn't help it.

He glared at me, and I knew he was keeping his self in balance with teeth and nails.

"Max just managed to get some sleep… that would be inappropriate".

I smirked "How though-"

"After all" he cut my sentence, which gave me the urge to punch him. I mean, who does he think he is? "It's not like you would give me any answer" he finished and walked out, closing the door after him.

I narrowed my eyes glaring at the door. Idiot.

I turned my attention to Max once again and frowned slightly. First Ray, now Tyson… Is secret that more than one people know, really a secret…?

**Ray's POV**

One of the biggest mistake we humans do is keeping secrets, because we think it will make our life easier… Wrong. In reality, this makes things more complicated…

I was just out of Kai's door ready to knock, because Tyson wasn't in our room. I didn't have the time to reach the door; it opened revealing the person I was looking for…

Tyson looked at me pretty tired and defeated… It was so unfeating for him, it made my stomach twist…

I think I held my breath but I'm not sure… We stayed frozen one opposite the other for a short time, before he made a movement.

He lifted his head lightly, staring straight at me.

"You just" he said, making me mock everything "Think I am an idiotic kid".

With hat he passed by me and walked in our room. The door closed without a sound, but I was frozen in place, staring the floor.

Slowly I lifted my gaze toward the door of the room we shared. I wondered how long he would keep this behavior...

He was able to surprise me after all…

To be continued~

* * *

Max: review so you will learn the rest.

Ray: review so Lightless will update.

Tyson: Review so I can go back to my normal self!... Or not...

Kai: Hn.

Dizzy: Typical. Review so we'll finally get to the romance part.

Kenny: *bows* Please review, to make the author's work worth it.

Kai:... Review... Because I say so.

**Thanks for the reviews:** Ninja2k, FlamingIce94, Deserttail, SouthernDragon, Nicole13-1991, Inyoface, animefan04

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_You (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	6. Chapter 6: Hopeless

So... Practicaly this is the first chapter I write in parts XD All the others were wrote at once. So... Um... What can I say... Not much this time, since I didn't took so long... Hope you like it, please inform me if is tiring to read... Or... im being annoying... Or the characters are out of characters... Or you hate me for some reason... BUT DONT CUSS OR ANYTHING (not that sb did, I say it just in case)! Be kind... If you have complains...

Review and make me happy PLEASE! I'll update sooner if u encourage me!

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. ****Ah! And also, Im not expert of drugs or withdrawals and all! Be kind if it seems unreal...**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter six**

**Hopeless  
**

**Max's POV**

It's been six day's I've been sleeping to his bed and he never said a word, but neither did I found him there once I was awake.

Every time I would be warmly wrapped in a blanket with care, every time I was looking up I found him somewhere in the room, ready to respond if I called him and every time I needed support to walk, to stand up or anything, he would help willingly… Actually the last days he seemed to actually be able to read me… He understood what I needed without words... But I guess this could be because I was up with the same stuff… Same needs…

But I've been impressed with his patience… He never complained, never glared at me, he never even sighed out when I called him… When we had been training, he didn't seem so patient… I guess as long as you live you learn…

Apart from this not many things had changed those days, except of my condition which was getting worst. Gladly usually Kai had a way to ease my pain, and also Tyson had started coming over to see me too. He was acting silly and hyper like usual, he actually cheered me up and made me smile, I didn't even worry since he didn't seem anything close to finding out, although Kai would always find a reason to shoo him after a while, or when he saw my symptoms showing up…

My father had called a couple of times too. Luckily the tournament wasn't being broadcasted, and somehow the information of my absence hadn't reached him…

I sighed and sat up looking around the empty room. It was Saturday so we didn't have a tournament round coming up at the day, still Kai and the others were training. Hilary had also started coming less, which I admit satisfied me and gave me some peace.

Although it was becoming pretty lonely when they were all away…

I reached to grab one of the mangas which were resting on my bedside table, but the same instant my head throbbed badly so I decided it was not the best idea to read… I lay back to my pillow once again and closed my eyes laying my forearm on my forehead…

This painful routine was something I was starting to get used to…

**Ray's POV**

I sat next to Kenny watching Tyson and Kai training.

When I saw Tyson again that day when he had sneaked into Max's room he was back to his usual self… As if nothing ever happened. I could tell he was covering a lot under this behavior, which also made me wonder, if it has always been like this… If he always hid things under his usual actions…

But he wasn't one hundred percent the same… Sometimes I had noticed him avoiding my gaze, or he even skipped to talk to me if he could, sometimes he and Chief even stopped talking, or started talking nonsense when I walked to them… But most importantly it was his behavior around Hilary that had changed drastically… I don't know where this came from, but it was obvious…

I glanced over at Hilary who sat to Kenny's other side, resting her chin on her hands, watching the battle pouting. On her knees rested a math book which was supposed to be Tyson's, so he would study after he was done training… Well that part hadn't changed much, Tyson was still sulking away from his studies, but sometimes he would just go along with this. I had noticed that was when he had the chance to be in a room alone with her…

I knew Tyson wasn't going to make a move, but still he had started showing in ways his interest. I have no idea if his actions were reaching Hilary, but all the rest of us were aware of them…

I sighed and drew my eyes from her, resting them on the younger boy to my side. Chief isn't good at lying or hiding things, so I could see right through it when he was trying to do so, but just because he was bad at it, he chose to talk less so nothing would slip… Even the damned laptop was being quiet…

"Kenny"

I rolled my eyes as I heard her mechanic voice.

_Well, almost quiet…_

"I shall inform the training time is over half an hour now… Kai is being a glutton over training again. Not that I care, I'm not getting tired, but to be honest I could use a plug, my battery is almost empty…"

"Oh…" Kenny murmured and looked around the room for a plug "U-um! In one minute I'll find you one!"

I smiled. Kenny would never dare to interrupt Kai in anything; he would go bring wire from the upper floor to feet it for Dizzy instead of telling Kai the training time is over.

Practically, Tyson would have said it first, but since Hilary was present, I could tell he was holding back, and kept up the training… Although he was showing off at times (and got lectured by Kai).

"Don't get worked up Kenny, I'll tell Kai its break time" I reassured him and turned to my teammates, just the moment their blades flew back to their hands.

Kai turned toward us straight to the door without a word and opened it "Training is over" he announced and left the room without another statement, leavening the rest of us watching his scarf swing back, before the door close again.

The room sank in silence for some seconds, before Tyson's voice broke through it, and drew our attention to him.

"Was about time" he stretched and placed his hands behind his head, he walked over to us smiling "How was that, Chief?" he asked cheerfully.

"It wasn't anything special…" Dizzy replied in Kenny's place.

"Humph" Tyson said, glaring at the laptop in his friend's lap "With every respect princess, I didn't asked you"

"I'm the one calculating though. Bow to me now, so I will give you a better treatment next time".

Tyson rolled his eyes, and for a millisecond glanced at Hillary, after his eyes fixed onto our genius again "Say, Kenny".

The said boy fixed his glasses over his secret eyes and looked up at the older teen "You both did well like usual, but I told you, I haven't seen large improvement as long as we're here. All your beyblades are in shape, and your qualities haven't dropped. But neither have they improved…"

I sighed.

Normally we wouldn't have improved. We hadn't faced anything worth improvement. Since we were fine like we were, neither us nor our bit beasts need to get better… But I guess Max's absence has part of it too. The balance in the team was unstable and the feeling was also somehow…

It became obvious to me then… How important Max was… His spirit, his cheerful self… Even his defending fighting were something that kept shape in our relationships… Me and Tyson, but also Kai could really get frustrated easily at that point. Kai maybe not so much, but still, we had been rather quiet, as if we feared if we were attempting something more the universe would fall apart or something… Or it was the secrets in our minds that kept as quiet…

Once again I sighed and rested my head back against the wall, crossing my arms, while Kenny and Tyson, along with some comments from Dizzy were being traded in the background; none of them was reaching me. And I knew they were unimportant… Nothing important has been spoken between us for a while…

I won't lie… About Max… Even if he is my friend and I love and enjoy his company, as a member of a beyblading team… Well… I always looked down on him… I know he is skilled, but sometimes I feel it's not enough. His spirit wasn't what I could name 'fighting', which made him weak in my eyes.

I know, I know! He has proven differently countless times, but still… Right now it's the same… I see him as a weakling… I'm not doing it on purpose; this is how I feel him… It's disrespectful, but everyone knows he is the weakest in the team and… Sometimes I pity him…

_ This kind of thoughts makes me feel dirty for some reason… But right now… I'm just angry…_

I chuckled soundlessly and rubbed my forehead, dropping my head front.

_How stupid I am…_

Even if this way of thinking was always there I never reviewed it successfully feeling like I looked down on him… Because Max had something undeniable…

_He was happy…._

_Always happy…_

_So damned happy…_

It even seemed unreachable sometimes… It made me jealous… That was the truth… Bringing up all the thoughts of before, was my excuse to see myself over him, and right then, after seeing him the way he was… I figured I had nothing to be jealous of…

_I'm just angry… I'm so angry… At myself…_

I was relieved… I didn't realize it before, but seeing him like this… I was relieved… I was above him, he needed me. I didn't need him.

Even his unreturned crush to Kai satisfied me in a way…

He was what he was supposed to be in my eyes.

A child. A child that needed guiding and my help. He could gain from me. I couldn't gain from him, I didn't need to! That's the way I felt… I couldn't control it. I was there to help him, just because it made me feel I have the upper hand… I was needed…

_It's pathetic… And shameful…_

And yet.

_I need him._

It was so damn clear. He was always needed. We all needed him.

All of us are parts of the team, I know that if one left we would fall apart, but then I realized, if Max wasn't there we would fall apart much easier.

"Ray…?"

_I'm such an idiot, how could I ever see it like this…? _

I had leaned forward and had been griping at my hair with both hands unconsciously. I knew I felt and looked hopeless at the point. But mostly I felt filthy for all the thoughts I made. Realization strikes hard I guess… Actually it's pretty scary how our minds work sometimes, without us realizing it. We successfully hide from ourselves many times, but no cover lasts forever…

I wondered then… How did Kai see him at that point…? Was it a more respectful point of view over him? I wondered… Did he sympathize him…? Or did he shamelessly pity him, like I did…?

Tyson nudged my shoulder slightly, inching close worried.

"Hey, buddy, what's the matter?"

I bit my lips and opened my eyes, calming down my inner fight. I straightened my body and looked at my worried teammate. I smiled weak.

"Nothing… Everything's fine…"

Tyson blinked a couple of times examining my expression and then grinned wide.

"Good, we're going out for crepes"

I nodded smiling more lively.

_There are always positive feelings too… _

**Kai's POV**

I walked in the room straight after I left the others. Actually I was in hurry to see how Max was doing, he seemed really bad that morning, I was pretty concerned to leave him alone, so I was surprised of myself when I realized I kept the training longer than usual… I guess I was taken aback by my thoughts…

The room was like usual not very well lit. I kept the curtains closed most of the time since light seemed to tire Max's eyes very fast. One source of light which was missing though was the TV that had turned to be one of the only entertainments he had left, and also the room was dead silent. Even his breathing wasn't loud enough for me to hear…

I paced toward my bed where he was curled in my blanket, and seemed fast asleep. I was used in the sight, and it actually had started to calm me, since he seemed to lack many hours of sleep lastly. Seeing him clear of pain and able to rest was always a relief anymore.

I sighed calming down and picked one of the mangas that rested next to him, dropping the rest on the floor, only managing to catch more of them out of reflect.

"Crap…" I mumbled quietly at the noise the one that escaped me made as it hit the floor.

I turned to Max to check if he had woken up, only to meet a soft smile, and his eyes looking at me, as he chuckled soft.

"That is new… Even you can drop something sometimes…" he said with his smile kept in place.

It amazed me how he could still smile even then. He actually had managed to gain my full respect at some ways. From the very first moment when we had battled, I had seen he is skilled and has guts, I only now realized that he had problems too. But after these days had passed and I had got to see more of him, I saw he was really strong person after all. For someone going through like this, his will to keep a smile was really amazing…

"I woke you up? Sorry…" I said fixing the books back to the table. In another moment I would be embarrassed losing my cool like this, but come on it wasn't something so serious. Everyone has things slipping of them sometimes.

"It's alright" he said and sat up slowly still smiling at me.

The last days he did that a lot. Even if his condition was getting worst, when he could, he would smile. It actually felt comforting… How ironic huh? As if I was the one needing comfort…

But I had improved in that myself. Believe me. I had become more social around him, I guess it was needed, or we would drop in silence… Although even when we did, it wasn't awkward, it was like unspoken agreement to keep the room quiet at various cases.

"Can you help me?" he asked after a while watching me. Luckily after two or three days, his questions weren't as hesitant, but he still took his time before he asked me for a favor…

I looked over at him and nodded, placing a bookmark in the manga I had just opened; I placed it aside and walked over to my bed (I had been sitting in his).

"Bathroom?" I asked, eyeing him calmly.

"I wanna take a bath" he said looking away, slightly embarrassed "I'm three days like this, I wanna get clean…"

"Can you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He turned his eyes to me again and nodded "I'll be fine".

"Ok, I'll get it ready for you" I said and walked to the bathroom, hearing a thank you in the background.

Max was trying to depend as less to me as possible, but in reality, every time I helped him walk in the bathroom, he had difficulties standing when he shooed me from the room. Still though, he was putting much effort to him. If he was lucky, sitting in the bathtub would be easy for him to wash himself…

_That is if his hands are full use right now… _

I rolled my eyes smiling at my own kind of mean thoughts. But I was just a bit concerned; I'd been looking over him, so I felt kind of responsible of whatever might happen to him.

I closed the water once the bathtub was filled with foam and water, and placed some clean clothes of his on the hanger, and some towels close the bathtub, after I walked back in the bedroom.

Meanwhile Max had sat on his knees, reading the manga I put aside with innocent curiosity showing in his features.

_Like puppy in front of some strange item…_

He looked up at me and smiled again, placing it aside. He pushed himself to the edge of the bed and hung his feet off.

"You sure you don't want me to help you bath?"

Seriously. I could have laughed with his reaction. He looked at me with his eyes wide, his face turned red, and from the raise f blood in his head, even some of his hair flew at random directions.

"Eh...? Eh...? EH! No! I'm fine! That would be- I mean, I-"

"You can keep your boxers on…" I cut him crossing my arms, rolling my eyes; sure a stupid and maybe noticeable smile decorated my face. He was really sensitive in the fact, even when I helped him change clothes, he always was awkward.

"For all I know you could fall asleep in the bathtub or something…" I said and helped him to his feet almost smiling at his childish pout, as he watched the floor.

"I hardly even sleep anymore…" he murmured.

"You never know, you seemed asleep when I came"

"Lucky moment…" he almost growled as he griped my arms to support himself.

I sighed and guided him to the bathroom. He shivered as his bare feet touched the cold floor in the bathroom and sat to the edge of the bathtub keeping his gaze downward as I started undressing him.

For me it wasn't really embarrassing, I have happened to babysit a cousin of mine sometimes who is just a year younger than Max, so it's pretty the same with me. It's not so difficult to take care of a kid from the moment it starts to talk, walk and doesn't need a diaper. Especially if you have a face like mine and an attitude like mine. They naturally respect you, or more honestly fear you… Heh.

I took off his shirt, and he held himself up from the bathtub marble so I could slip him out of his pants. I stood up and placed them for washing (would be done by the hotel staff).

I turned again to him and helped him sit in the bathtub, with his boxers on as I told him. With the first contact with the water he whimpered and clung to me as much as he could.

"Cold…" he mumbled shaking.

"It'll help your fever to drop a bit…" I replied, kneeling so he would sit in the bathtub the same time, since his arms were tightly wrapped around my neck.

The water wasn't really cold, I had placed it somewhere between cold and warm, you know. He hesitantly let go one hand off me and slowly withdrew the other in the water too, sinking with only his nose and eyes out of the foam, getting slowly used to the temperature.

I lifted some water with my palm to wet his hair too. He closed his eyes shivering quietly. I had left my armguard in the room, and I wore my usual sleeveless black shirt, so I didn't worry of getting wet (not that I was going to melt either way).

As I moved my hand away, once his hair was fully wet, he took a hold of it with both of his hands, looking at me sideway, half curled over my hand that he almost held to his lap. I lifted myself and sat at the edge, petting him gently with the other hand. I was really starting to get better at comforting people, didn't I…?

**Max's POV**

I held his hand close to my chest as my one and only source of warmth, making sure though there was no contact so he wouldn't feel how my heart danced like mad. He sat on the side of the bathtub, and stroked my hair gently. He didn't seem to rush anything. As I said before he was patient, and took things in my pace.

I leaned sideway to the edge where he sat, curling close to him, and closed my eyes. Once again I felt really dizzy and tired. I felt his hand being drawn from my grip with a slow sliding movement, and got light on my face, so I guessed he left from where he had been sitting, but I was too tired to open my eyes to check. So I waited patiently, and soon the shadow covered me once again.

I felt the water wave a bit and his hand holding gently my head in place. I slightly opened my eyes and checked on him, as he sank the sponge in the water, and started washing me without a word. I tried to protest that I could do it myself, but god's knew I couldn't. And… I didn't want to… It felt really nice and warm as he took care of me.

Every movement he made was really careful, and I noticed how he skipped some parts, since he knew I would get embarrassed, but… At that time my mind was really blurry… I didn't understand a lot… I felt more than I thought.

I felt him holding me making sure no foam would reach my eyes, or I wouldn't slip in the water… And his scent was pretty intoxicating…

I stretched a bit and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding myself close to him, and buried my face between his neck and shoulder. He stiffened for a second, but then kept up what he was doing, not seeming to mind that once again I had made his shirt wet and gave extend contact.

I kept clinging to him, and bit my lip breathing to his neck, and… Well… I was almost getting warmed up… And I wasn't really conscious of my actions... I nuzzled my face to his neck, and he pulled me back tactfully. He probably had realized I was in a daze and not really conscious of what was going on…

Which… Was not entirely true…

After he was done with my skin, he started washing my hair as well as he could with one hand, while the other was around my waist and held me sitting. I had leaned my head on him, and made no noise, relaxing at his soothing moves…

Gosh, If anyone had told me a week ago I would live such a moment I would have fainted from embarrassment, and when I would wake up, I would have yelled how impossible and terribly ridiculous that sounded…

When he was done with my hair too, he pulled the plug of the bathtub, and washed me off the soap and all after he made sure the water was warm. At the end he lifted me to sit on the bathtub and unfolded one of the clean towels. He wrapped me in it warmly and started drying me with round caring movements…

Honestly… I felt like I was in heaven…

He lifted me up (something he seemed rather used to do by then) curled to his arms and carried me to his bed, laying me down gently. I heard him walk away and after close again. He lifted me to sitting position once more and helped me into a clean t-shirt, then he laid me down again, and moved to change my boxers, where I insinctly kicked weakly.

I heard him sigh and he probably rolled his eyes too. He wrapped the towel around my waist almost covering all of my feet, trying to assure me, he won't see anything, but I was already almost off it to protest again, as he placed me to clean pants and underwear.

Once again, like moments during the night, he wrapped me warmly in the blanket, which carried his scent by now, and moved away.

I yelped and rolled to the side reaching blindly for him, as the blurry view my eyes provided didn't allow me to make out much in the dark room. I whimpered repeatedly.

"What is it?" he asked and walked close quickly, resting a hand on my hair, to let me acknowledge his presence.

I griped his shirt (which if I was in condition, I would have noticed was already replaced with a dry one) and tugged on it whimpering still like scared kid. I felt the bed swollen beside me immediately as he took a seat to my side, and helped me sit up.

I wrapped my arms around his neck once again and buried my face on him shaking. He slowly rested one hand on my back and the other brushed my hair comfortingly.

I didn't want to let go once he comforted me this time, like I did some days ago. I wanted him to stay like this. Close to me. Protecting me and taking care of me…

It felt so beautiful that I stubbornly held into the feeling and wouldn't snap out of my daze. I wouldn't think… I acted with my mind completely blank…

I pulled back just a bit, curling to him still; I ran my fingers and stroked his face. Now that he was close, I could have a look of him, and had a better and cleared view. He stared at me kind of curiously, but didn't move from my touch although it was different from the others I gave him, he didn't seem to realize…

But then I couldn't realize it either…

I leaned closer and stroked his hair out of his eyes carefully with my fingers. His crimson orbs followed my movements, beginning to get alarmed. But I still moved closer. His eyes seemed more alarmed now, as he was getting sure of what I was about to do…

Once our lips made slight contact, I was rough fully pulled back, and he had jumped up.

It was the first time he treated me like this after when he had forced me to look at my reflex ion the day he found out… And once again he had found out something embarassing and bad about me.

Getting to my senses after the rough push, I stared the mattress wide eyed, shaking madly.

_What did I do…?_

I whimpered having a clear image of my actions now. I griped the mattress, and fought back a breakdown.

I was really shaken… And damned scared…

I slowly turned my gaze halfway to Kai. He was standing still his eyes wide watching me, sharing the same shaky breaths I did.

Now this is how a fallen angel should be feeling. From the top of heavens to the bottom of hell.

_I didn't want this… Not like this… Why- I'm so stupid!_

I looked down again, biting my lips fighting the tears that threaten to fall.

Kai stepped back placing his hand over his mouth, his confused eyes stuck on my pitiful figure. After I heard him walk out with one faster move, and the room sank once again in silence…

I closed my eyes, giving in to crying. Once again showing how pathetic I was but I didn't cared. I didn't have anything else to lose anymore…

I left out a sob, and broke down crying on the pillow, muffling the loudest noises my hopelessness left…

_Not like this… Please… Don't leave me like this…_

**To be continued~**

* * *

Wow... First time ending a chapter with a... Cliffanger? Heh...

Max: ...

Ray: review so I won't look like such an asshole -_- Fgs... I am not liek this, this was out of character...

Tyson: Review cause I wasn't much in this episode!

Kai: ...

Dizzy: Somebody got the tongue of the protagonists...

Kenny: *bows* Please review, to make the author's work worth it.

Kai:...

Kenny: ... And get those two back to normal... Or sth...

**Thanks to:** Deserttail, LoverOfTheDarkness, SongOfTheShadows, Nicole13-1991 for comenting on my last chapter~

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_Hopeless (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	7. Chapter 7: Away

Two months since my last update X3 Oh, Im glad I finally came to write this one, it's not the most entertaining chapter but it is needed .w.; Nyah, in other news read "Mad New World" from Inyoface, its mad, but somehow adicting :P I am three chapters back tho TwT I printed the one of the three chapters but my inks ended when i tried to print the other two D DAMNIT! I'm still going to read them soon TwT Kyaa... I hate when I leave time for an fanfiction to get updated and then I lose track And also "10 Miles in your shoes" is also one amazing fanfiction. Its not shounen-ai, but it still is amazing X3 In other news, there are Sholay's Beyblade crossover and fanfiction which are both amazing but are rarely updated TwT... Ah... I'm also stuck with Code Geass and I finished the manga of Chobits -w- it was pretty good. Ne ne, I'll try to update soon, I also want to update the Kuroshitsuji fanfiction I started XD Damn I add stuff to do yet I'm lazying off shame oh shame.

Review and make me happy PLEASE! I'll update sooner if u encourage me! And thank to everyone who read this story ;w; I place much heart into it and it makes me happy every little review/allert/fave w Thanks~

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. ****Ah! And also, Im not expert of drugs or withdrawals and all! Be kind if it seems unreal...**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter seven**

**Away  
**

**Ray's POV**

After the training was done we had sat all together in the cafeteria of the hotel. I was drinking a coffee while Kenny was playing some Counter Strike on Dizzy (I would never had expected Chief to play that…) and Hillary unfortunately had a pretty silent lesson with Tyson on math at the next table. I was glancing at them now and then, and couldn't tell for sure if Tyson was concentrating in what Hillary was saying, or he simply stared at her and though that pink suited her.

Once they too were done with their lesson, I joined them along with Kenny and started playing a border game. We became pretty loud at that, especially Tyson, he hates to lose, but he in a way he yelled less than other times. I was glad Kai wasn't watching from a side, we were like the downfall of Rome, we would get scolded acting so childish like this, but at least we had our fun. And we were carefree too, playing and yelling or teasing each other was a real stress release. I suppose if we had Max along it would be even better, but at that time I preferred to push this though aside.

Since it was a knowledge game, Kenny and Hillary were winning, with me following and Tyson at the end of the line, getting all pouty and complaining to the fact (just until his eyes fell on Hillary and he did his best to get his cool back). At the end we gave up on this one and started playing a card game (the one with the less strategy and most luck so Tyson would have a chance).

We were all focused on the game for too long, and the café had emptied, both because most people were taking a nap at that time, and for the reason we were way too loud.

"Ray!"

I looked up just in time to prevent a key flying toward me from hitting my face. Lowering my hand I looked at Kai, he had just walked in and he didn't move from the door, his one hand was still at the handle. With a quick look I could see he wasn't as calm and collected as usual, but in anyone who hadn't lived with him in a while, it would be the same.

"Watch over Max" he said simply and walked out again.

I stared at the swinging door for a second, taken aback by surprise while holding the key still at front. After my mind wheels started working again away of the aces, the hearts and the card games in general I jumped and rushed to the door before it even had time to settle still to its place.

"Hey, Kai!"

Kai had already passed the hallway and was out of the central door in the garden. I had to take a run to catch up with him, once I was out of the central door, I called him again.

"What?" he asked coldly, pausing and turning halfway to look at me.

"Did something happen?" I was pretty concerned. Something was off.

"No. Everything's just fine. I'm just going for a walk" he spat and I could see he was trying to end this conversation as fast as possible and get away. Something was definitely off.

"Are you sure…?" I asked frowning "Did something… I mean… Why do you…. Give me the keys?"

"I'm going out and someone needs to watch over Max. He can't be left alone in his condition" he answered calmly.

This sounded pretty calming and reassuring, at start I thought he was throwing his care to me because they argued or something... But still something did not feat. We stared each other for a moment, but when Kai saw I didn't say something else, he simply turned and walked away.

Through the window of the café Kenny and Hillary watched the scene pretty worried as well, while Tyson made the last call in the poker.

"Flush" he called and picked the markers smiling in a sad way that no one noticed.

**Kai's POV**

Unexpected is like driving in the middle of a main Street with a blanket over the front glass. You never know what's coming straight to you with 180 km/h. And there are two kind of unexpected things. The first are the ones that have yet to happen. And the others are the ones that have already happened but you have no idea of it. Both though have common results they bring you face to face with conditions that you weren't prepared and no one bothers to ask you if you can handle them.

Well quitting the rhetorical mumbling. This one was unexpected for me. Like BIG TIME unexpected. I don't know in which category it belonged, but it sure got me off guard. Gosh! To think I have gone through years of training to expect the unexpected, see through people, to be on guard and manage to come out in one piece. I don't know. Did I let my guard down? I have no idea!

_I need to calm down…_

I sighed deep. I was walking aimlessly through the streets; I was out of my mind completely… I suppose I was in shock. Not for what happened to me, but for the condition.

Well… It never. NEVER. Had crossed my mind. Not even as a possibility, say it of being a fact, huh.

I'm not making sense am I? Oh, give me a moment… Ok I'm getting at it… Yeah.

Well you see… Where to begin? Pfff…

Ok, I left in the middle why I was shocked; let me start with this one… As I said again and again and again (I'm losing count) I never saw this coming.

I mean, ok, Max is carefree (or at least used to be), has a thing with glom-ping people (currently could hardly stand), is sugar high (currently formed a habit of being high in other ways) and he is a child… In my eyes at least, I never considered he is actually just 2 years under me. So… Yeah, in my mind he is just a kid, even after seeing the other side of him, I didn't had the time to think his sexual orientation, neither did I cared of course and… Well… I never had the reason to.

I don't have a complex or anything; I mean people have the habit to judge from such things, I don't. Well… I've gone through racism for either clothing, or hairstyle, or the tattoos, and Ray had some weird looks in Japan for being Chinese! Well it's pretty disturbing how they make your picture out of that short of things. Sexual orientation is like this too. Do whatever the hell you want in your life, it's your right.

But Max… Did he even have the time to develop his likes…? Or does it… Had to do only with me…? And not… with… boys… In general…

I sighed again and rubbed my temple.

_I don't know about him, but I am developing a headache…_

I'm not slow but I was dragged in this position out of nowhere, so I had to put it in a line and figure out what the hell was going on…

Ok. So… Max must have acted pretty much unconsciously in the state he was, but actions are based on our real thoughts and all. So… He either was horny, or has an attachment to me…?

"Man that's just sick" I mumbled while I stared some kittens pawing the glass in a pet shop watching me. I placed my finger on the glass frowning, while the kittens behind the glass stretched to their back feet to either catch it or bite or lick it "Not to mention masochistic…" I continued my though frowning even more.

Well, I have many fan-girls and people say what doesn't touch you doesn't harm you. So they like me from a safe view… Although… I bet none of them would mind sleeping with me, I'm famous and I'm like some manga guys… You know the quiet pretty evil but with the mysterious aura one which is attractive for them in a sadomasochistic way... Girls are weird.

I had a couple of relationships which is only normal, I'm 17. But you know, none did last for way too much, and most of them weren't what people call "romantic" we pretty much shared some moments, and that was all.

I never really bothered with actual romance, not because I feared of it or anything, but these things happen, they don't come ordered, and I'm not the type to seek for it, I had no need to. I don't like stressing myself, what will be will be.

Well… This is at least how I work with myself, since I don't have anyone to worry for my sake, so I don't need to worry about me either. I do what I want.

But well, now that I think of it clearly… The way I left the room wasn't the best thing I could have done… I've seen some people who have attachment to others and they kind of hurt by such treatment, but back then I wasn't thinking, I acted insinctly. You see I h-a-t-e to not have control over conditions concerning me, especially when I lose track of what I should be doing at that very moment. So that's what happened with Max too. I felt exposed in a way. I hope you get how I mean it. I didn't felt threatened by Max for even a second and now I was even feeling kind of guilty…

I sighed one more time and left the pet shop with the kittens crowding in the corner to watch me off, as I placed my hands in the pockets and walked to a park, hoping to get some clean air and manage to get a hold of what was happening.

After a while of walking I took a seat at the deserted park. I suppose the weather was too cold for anyone to be lazing around in a place like this. I sighed again (I sure did that a lot) leaving a puff in the cold air and looked up the sky. It was going to rain soon I could tell.

If in any case, in any crazy way, with any means possible Max had feelings for me, there was nothing I could do I guess. For now we had bigger troubles with the whole drug thing, and I know that now I only added more stress to him with finding out and I even acted as if he had offended me… It must have looked really bad from his point of view… My reaction I mean…

But you know… This is… It actually feels kind of nice in an egoistic way.

I know, I… Don't see him this way, I've seen him as a teammate, friend and lastly even young relative, but never though romantic of him. But you know, Max has seen a lot faces of me, and I assure you many of them aren't too charming. It makes me wonder what sane person would come and grow feelings for someone with my attitude. I suppose attachment is blind.

I don't have self issues. I am who I am. But I have some realism sense, and I just can't come around to see how he has built his image of me to get this result…

My self esteem is high in many ways, I see myself as skilled student and athlete, and I think I'm looking pretty well too, but I wouldn't call my behavior attracting…

_I'm repeating myself don't I?_

I brushed my fingers through my hair with yet another sigh. I wasn't sure what I should do from now on with Max. In one hand the last thing I wanted was to leave him alone, and make him feel like I betrayed him.

I flinched shutting my eyes at my own though.

_I hate this word…_

I reopened my eyes and continued my thinking. From the other hand, the awkwardness from him just withdrawn some days ago and I bet now it would be there in double with me around. And I would be kind of awkward too…

At the end I decided I would distant myself, just for now, and then starting fixing it again. I don't know if I'll ever be able to return his feelings, but that doesn't mean I don't care for him. And I've told in previous chapters of this sick fan-fiction that I'm responsible for him now.

I closed my eyes and dropped my head a little back, allowing myself some time to relax with the cold breeze playing with my hair. I stayed like this until the sun had almost set and the gray clouds had a slight red light from a side, before I take my way back to the hotel.

**Ray's POV**

After half an hour since Kai left, I stood from the table pouting. In a weird twist of fate Tyson kept winning over and over, it was practically kind of creepy that he won in a game that needed some basic brain use. But the creepiest was his attitude. God he was like Kai in a way.

He didn't yell for his victories he simply smirked every time he showed his cards, and didn't even bother to name them, and then with calm movements he picked his markers. Kenny and Hillary kept playing just because their ego was too big for either of to accept Tyson was winning over them. But I grew tired, and I was worried for our blond teammate as well, so I left the room and headed upstairs to check on him.

Reaching his door I knocked softly, but got no reply, so I used the keys Kai gave me (threw at me) and opened the door soundlessly. Stepping inside in the poorly lighted room, it was dead silent and there was a funny smell of soap in the air, along with some humidity in the general direction of the bathroom. If I had to guess, it was used within the last hour or maybe something more.

A light gasp followed by a whimper caught my attention and I turned toward the swollen blanket, I could guess was hiding Max. I approached him in the dark, thanking my cat features which allowed me to not stumble over some books which lay on the floor. I stepped by the bed and leaned closer to check on the boy.

From the looks of it he was going through an uneasy sleep. He had the usual withdrawal symptoms, which meant he was shaking and twitching all the time. The whimpers he was letting were normal reaction, signalizing the pain he had, but what troubled me was his face.

He had an unusually pained expression and he looked frightened. I suppose that could be either from the pain or he had a bad dream. Looking closer and taking a better view along with the light salty scent, I could make out the image of dried tears. A lot of them. And the pillow soaked too. I frowned as I guessed he had cried himself to sleep...

_What in the world happened…?_

Judging from Kai's previous behavior I could guess something had happened between them.

_But what?_

I shook my head frowned and started tiding the room as silently as I could. Even if Max didn't seem to have the best sleep, maybe in the current condition it was better than being awake.

I stuffed the fallen books on one of the bedside tables, and folded some clothes which lay here and there. Heh. I would never have guessed Kai was untidy. Max was, but Kai was very tactful, so he must haven't had time to clean the place. This once again made me wonder what happened between the two of them.

I paused and look up to where Max was sleeping. He had stopped whimpering and generally he was too quiet. I walked over and looked at him. He seemed to still be sleeping. I guessed whatever nightmare he had must have ended…

I returned to the chores at that.

I didn't notice Max had awoken before I check on him, neither saw him crying once I walked out of the room again…

**Kai's POV**

It was dark until the time I stepped back to the hotel. I saw Kenny walking up the stairs when I walked in the hallway. He paused and greeted me. I nodded.

"Hillary and Tyson are still playing cards" he said pouting.

_Still playing cards? And to think she came along for his lessons… _

"I see" I said.

"Tyson is winning…" I raised my eyebrow. I could tell that was the reason of him being upset, his ego in mind games in big, but I wouldn't have expected Tyson winning anything that needs mind use.

He nodded again frowning and walked up the stairs holding Dizzy with one hand while he used the other to hold the railing of the stairway.

I watched him for a moment and glanced at the direction of the café.

_Who would have guessed…? Heh._

I shrugged it off and made my way up the stairs as well, and once again I was left out of my room without keys… It was feeling kind of stupid you know.

"Ah, Kai"

I looked up toward the door of the room Kenny, Ray and Tyson shared, to see the second one walking out and to my way. I nodded for greeting once again, and he took a serious face.

_Ah, just what I need…_

"Will you tell me now?" he asked, obviously not going to take 'no' for answer.

"Tell you what?" answering the question with question is in my likes, unless it's done against me.

He rolled his eyes "What happened with Max"

"Nothing, why?" good god, I must have run out of things to say, or… I wasn't sure for the answer myself.

Ray face-palmed "Come on now Kai, you left as if somebody was chasing you, and even if Max was sleeping, I could see in what mess he was"

"Is he still sleeping?" I'm glad I wasn't in Ray's place or I would have killed me.

He sighed defeated "Yeah, I checked on him a couple of times, he was just sleeping…"

I stretched my hand "Keys".

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"There isn't anything to tell"

"Did you argue?"

"No"

"Did he get on your nerves?"

"No"

"Maybe then you are tired of the condition?"

"No, Ray, I'm a patient person…" he was starting to annoy me. Seriously, and I saw wanted to spit something mean to him but I wasn't in mood to have another person to worry about, so I kept it in "Can I have the keys now?"

"You don't seem so patient to me…" it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"You know…" he continued "Did he…"

I raised my eyes to him "What?" I asked really curious to see how that sentence was going to end. From the awkwardness Ray had when he tried to place his thoughts in speech, maybe… He knew something I didn't…

Ray stared at me pretty wide eyed. I so wanted to know what the hell was going on in his mind "N-nothing" he said looking away "Here" he gave me the keys and rushed to his room.

_ What in heaven's name…?_

I frowned but didn't stop him. I shook my head and unlocked the door. With a light sound I stepped in the room.

**Hillary's POV**

This. Was. RIDICULOUS!

Tyson kept winning over and over! Even when we changed game, he kept winning! I mean, such thing don't happen! It's Tyson we are talking about. You know, the bonehead, head-on-clouds and show-off, spin-top obsessed that eats more than an army and is a horrible student! That one!

I mean! I couldn't afford that! Losing to HIM! In a game like this!

I don't play such games a lot, but at least when I do, I have a strategy and depend as much as I can in luck, yet he didn't even seem to stress himself. He didn't drop a sweat! And he wasn't showing off… Much…

I glared at him while he shuffled the cards in his hands. I wouldn't take my eyes away, I knew it wasn't like Tyson to cheat in case to win in anything, but I couldn't give another explanation. And I so wanted to punch that smirk out of his face. Can you believe it? He had his eyes on me and smirked at me while he was shuffling the deck!

With a calm movement he set the deck between us.

"Cut" he said.

I growled and the glare wouldn't leave my features, I was going to get wrinkles like this. But I wasn't going to give up on him. Kenny gave up in the end, tired of losing and most likely tired of my yelling too.

I reached the deck and cut it, with my eyes fixed on Tyson's. He-was-enjoying it! He knew his calm attitude drove me crazy and he enjoyed it. Damn it! When did he become like this?

I cut the deck and we started another round.

Soon after, he had won this one too. I jumped up and hit my hands on the table; he chuckled and picked the cards, starting to shuffle again.

"We're going to play more?" He asked with a smile.

"How the hell do you keep winning!" I complained.

He looked at me smiling as he shuffled still the deck in his hands. He suddenly stopped and randomly cut the deck with his eyes fixed on me. He showed me the card that was at the bottom of the cut.

Ace of hearts.

_This. Is. Sick._

"How did you do this!" I yelled pointing at him.

"Did what? It could have been any card, why do you get so worked up?" he smirked calmly.

"Ace in a random cut…" I said sarcastically.

"Luck"

"But you showed it to me and-and-! UGH!" I sat again down pouting, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Will we play more?" he asked once again.

"You enjoy it so much winning over me?"

"Where did your fighting spirit go Hillary?" he pouted.

I hit my fist on the table leaning close "Fine. Let's do it again, you're going down"

The round finished with yet another victory for him, and my ego crushed.

"Come on, don't sulk it's a game" he smiled and I couldn't see any sarcasm, he simply wanted to cheer me up.

I sighed deep "Will you tell me now how you do it…?" I asked again tiredly.

He watched the deck as once again he kept his hands occupied by shuffling it

"Cards" he started and looked at me "Are like life".

I raised my eyebrow. He wasn't really going to say something deep and serious right…?

"You never know what cards there are at your share and no one plays the game the same way. But luckily" he smiled at that and turned his attention back to the deck in his hands "There are many ways to come out as the winner. You only need to figure them".

I blinked speechless staring at him, feeling the temperature on my face rise a little.

_When Tyson did started growing up…?_

**Kai's POV**

I was sitting on the bed opposite his for a while, watching him with my chin resting at my hands. He seemed to have a rather peaceful sleep, but his expression said otherwise.

I stayed like this in the silence for long, without being able to take my eyes of him, while my mind worked on what I should do and like the day I found out about his other problem, I just couldn't settle on my actions.

Like the third law of Newton in physics I knew very well that for every action in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction, so I should be careful of what the reaction of my act would be…

I sighed for last time that day and stood up; I crouched in front of his bed and stroked his hair gently, frowning.

"I'm sorry…" I said in a whisper.

But sadly, this time he was really sleeping, and didn't hear my words…

**To be continued~**

* * *

Ok, this was a kind of tiring chapter to come and write, because it was mostly the characters, and less the plot, but it was needed, I promise there will be more action in the following chapters, but generaly you see im not so good at this stuff, but i'm trying X/3 Oh! And even a little bit, I managed to place a little Tyson/Hillary sceene w

Tyson: Please review and I'll get Ray to be your host.

Rei: What!

Tyson: oh sorry, this is from other manga.

Kai: Just please review... Or... maybe... its not the best idea...

Max: I didn't appear much in this chapter T_T

Kenny: yes, review to see some more Max

Dizzy: Ohhahahahaha just review.

**Thanks to:** Inyoface (I adore u TwT, your comments make my day too w), animefan02 (you're too sweet w you and your pup eyes), Max-4-ever (for reading my story and for likeing max/kai -w- you win!), Nicole13-1991 (because I think she squeeked at the kiss sceen), LoverOfTheDarkness (because le gasp is for the win), SongOfTheShadows (you're sweet 33), Deserttail (because she reviews much and encourages me to go on) for reviewing on my last chapter~ And all those tho rad and love my story, who fave and add it to your allert list! THANK YOU!

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

Away_ (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	8. Chapter 8: Had Enough

One month. Faster than the last one, but still guys I'm pretty much upside down. I... Kind of fell in love and she's imposible at times and keeps me busy too X3 But today she let me write it .w. She doesnt follow the fantom of Beyblade, so she doesn't read it, but I love her anyway. Anyways, back to the chapter I feared... That this one would come out very fanfiction cliche... What do you think? Please tell me if it is when you're done I think it's not as bad as I feared, but whatever. Ah, other this one is longer than the rest XD I wanted to close it where I did but... I dunno how good that is... Ah, in feature time, do you remember the Mad new world fanfiction I wanted to catch up with? Well I did, until she updated! And now im once again one chapter back! But it's actually getting better XD Belive me its worth it. As for the one 10 miles in your shoes, I still need to catch up TwT. Ah, about the chapter, I wanted to mention its from the ones you want to get over with to go to the ones after. Well, to be honest I'm mostly looking forward for the time they'll be at home. It'll have less KaixMax moments, but I'll show some things I want to. Ah, I really hope that itll come as I want, and I also fear a lot for two certain things that will show, and I'm worrid for your reactions guys... But I have time to worry until then, please enjoy the chapter, Ill update again when I can, please bare with me.

Review and make me happy PLEASE! I'll update sooner if u encourage me! And thank to everyone who read this story ;w; I place much heart into it and it makes me happy every little review/allert/fave w Thanks~

-/\- :Flashback start

-\/-: Flashback end

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. ****Ah! And also, Im not expert of drugs or withdrawals and all! Be kind if it seems unreal...**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter eight  
**

**Had Enough  
**

**Max's POV**

"Self-centered people prefer to control everything… To organize everything so that they are in charge to try and claim all the credit and to give up completely if their opinion does not win out. Everyone knows this. But… That is not all, quite a lot of people who seem to be quite the opposite, people who think everyone is out to get them, people who think they are causing problems for everyone else, people who doubt themselves, people who deny themselves, people who sacrifice themselves, people who abuse themselves, people who blame themselves, all of these people… Are also extremely self-centered..." I stared the pictures and run my fingers on the page. I had read this part twice, once in my mind and once aloud, since the only one accompanying me was the clock sound from the wall, from the moment I woke up… Never before that tick toe seemed to mock me like this.

So, I too was extremely self-centered right? So what? Who isn't? It's only normal, we're the protagonists of our lives, and each of us plays the lead role in each of our movies. If we aren't self centered then we can't keep the place of our role, right?

I closed the manga, one named xxxHolic. I had tried to kill my time reading all the books at my side, but it seemed as if the time wasn't passing for some reason. I checked the clock every now and then yet when it felt like hours only minutes had passed.

It was Sunday noon. Tomorrow they would have to go back to the tournament… I woke up around eleven, I think someone was here before, but I can't be sure. My bed was untouched (I was still in Kai's). As it seemed he hadn't slept in here…

Yesterday I saw Ray coming to check on me… He had the keys, just like the other time Kai had asked him to check on me, but was it like that one…?

_No, I doubt it… He doesn't want to be around me…_

It hurt. But I was trying to get and deal with it. But how easy do you think it was? I bit my lip and griped on the cover of the bed. I raised my eyes and looked around the room. Had it always been so small? So dark? So empty? Has it always felt so lonely? So distant for anything familiar? Had it always felt so cold…?

I shivered and crawled off the bed. I walked to the window hoping it would have some sunlight to make me feel warmer. I pulled the curtain aside and pushed open the railing. It didn't felt any better; the light didn't even made my eyes hurt like it had other days. The sky was cloudy and the roads wet. During the night it must had rained a bit.

I looked up at the grey sky. I could guess more rain would come soon, how ironic, isn't it? The sky was reflecting my feelings; it could read me so well. And the place was just cold. Even more now. I stayed staring the sky for a while, luckily I wasn't thinking, my mind had gone blank, and you could even see it in my eyes, while they mirrored the image of the cloudy sky. And nothingness. Yet it felt calm for as long as I stood there.

Some moments later, I heard the door open and I snapped out of my daze. I turned my head and looked as Ray entered the room. I should have felt disappointed. Somewhere in my mind I should have been expecting Kai right? But I didn't. I was hopeless, or I feared the way he'll be looking at me from then on.

Ray looked at me pretty surprised that I was up, and even more standing, at the end he got to his senses.

"Good Morning, Max"

I turned and closed the window, with a last cold wind entering the room. My eyes fell on a drop that hadn't dried and shook on the glass from the wind outside. How exposed… It would disappear soon.

I closed the curtains and turned to Ray, as he pushed in a track with breakfast for me.

"How are you today?" he asked glancing at me worried of the lack of answer.

"Pretty well" I replied blankly and walked over to Kai's bed climbing back on it as Ray placed the track in front of it.

"Good…" he replied not much believing me, I could tell.

I sat and examined what was on the track without much interest. Ray had done a good choice of variety in his attempt to get me eat something. He had brought also glasses with 4 different drinks. One was milk, and the other three were apple juice, orange and apricot. The last one Kai had brought me once as well; he said it was my favorite… He ended up drinking it instead, even its smell made me want to throw up, let's not say about taste, although It never reached my mouth, the closest to it, the most I hated it. Seriously, was that thing ever my favorite? Hn.

I grimaced smelling it and placed my hand over my mouth. Not that the rest looked better of course, I didn't felt like eating anything, but whatever, since he tired himself to bring all this stuff…

I started placing some strawberry marmalade on crackers quietly. Ray sat on my bed and took the juice drinking it in my place. Heh, it felt like he was a rubbish bin or something! What I don't drink, he does. Well, apart from this, I felt pretty annoyed… Up until now, the whole week, Kai was sitting where he sat then. Kai was bringing food, and Kai kept me company. Even when they had to go to the tournament, he would take breakfast with me first before he goes.

My heart sank. He wouldn't sit with me again… Wouldn't keep me company and talk with me…

I paused my action and looked at Ray. He looked at me sideway and then turned to his own food frowning slightly.

He knew.

He knew what was bothering me. He knew I wanted to ask about Kai. I wanted to know what he told him. Why was he in there with me? Where was Kai? Was he mad at me? Did he leave my care to Ray for good? Where did he sleep…?

_Tell me. I want to know. Wondering hurts more than a painful truth. Not knowing hurts, but I can't come to ask. Why don't you tell me?_

I frowned too slightly. At least my blank state was fading. But I knew what would happen soon if I was left like this. My body hurt every day anymore. The withdrawal was torturing me and the fever rarely dropped. So my emotional state was really bad as well. I wasn't patient. Luckily Kai hadn't tried my patience, or when I was at my limits, somehow he would ease my pain, and make me feel better… I needed him. More than I knew I could. And he was becoming an addiction more hazardous than drugs. I knew he was what kept me going on to that point. And not having him… The thought of never having him again… It…

I chuckled lightly with my hand on my face. It drew Ray's attention and he looked at me curiously. I lowered my hand smiling and rested my elbows on the track, careful not to lay them on anything. I rested then my chin on my joined hands and looked at him smiling gently.

"Say Ray, how have your days been? You and the others, are you having fun?" I asked.

He stared at me for a moment and then started tiding the empty plates on the track, and answered while avoiding my gaze.

"Well, nothing unusual. It's been pretty moody without you, Tyson is luckily caught up with his lessons with Hilary or he would be complaining a lot for your absence, and Kenny is in love with Dizzy like always, he doesn't say much. But to me honest it's generally very quiet without you there" he smiled lightly and looked at me, making his fangs appear lightly.

-/\-

_ "I would say Tyson is pretty upset on your absence. You won't believe it but he's more annoying than usual, of course sometimes when Hillary is around, he plays it cool" Kai smiled lightly and looked at me while tiding his clothes after the training "Before he start coming to see you Tyson was pretty mad at me and Ray for keeping you from him"_

_I chuckled "And Chief?"_

_"You know, Chief. He's too much drawn to Dizzy, sometimes I wonder if he notices stuff. But he too is worried for you. He doesn't ask me or Ray, but I know he is filled from Tyson"_

-\/-

"I see…" I replied, running my finger around the top of a glass, with my eyes fixed on my Asian teammate "What about you Ray? How are you doing without me there?"

"I told u. It's too quiet, but I too miss you being in there" he sat back cross-legged on the bed "Tyson will gain weight, since he eats the foods I make for you too. I made plenty rice-balls the other day and he ate most of them" he finished adding some honey on his crackers. He quickly took the subject off him.

-/\-

_"I think Ray has found his peace. Don't take me wrong, you know he likes you, but you and Tyson make a lousy couple, so right now Ray doesn't need to worry for you both. And he also has some faith in me, so he doesn't worry too much for you either, and he gets to beyblade with Tyson more in your absence"_

_"So you would say he's better off without me?"_

_Kai looked at me and raised his eyebrow "Are you looking for a reason to complain? That's not what I said. Ray is too serious for his own good at some matters, and right now he try to pass his time like he would before and makes an attempt to cover for you as well"_

_"You know… Sometimes I feel that Ray has problem with me, or… looks down on me"_

_Kai shook his head while he made my bed "I wouldn't say that. He was really worried for you when he figured something was wrong, take my word for this. And well, as for the beyblade, he sees stuff otherwise, but he recognizes you have skill" he finished sitting on the bed he just had made._

_ I smiled reassured "If you say so… I guess you know him better…"_

-\/-

"What about Kai…?" I paused with my finger at the top of the glass still, looking at Ray seriously.

"Kai's behavior hasn't changed at all" he started trying to skip the question that I really did "He trains us a lot, he scolds, he is merciless" he chuckled weakly.

"I see…" I replied and took a ship of the glass of milk.

-/\-

_ "Once you're alright be sure I won't be kind to you. You need to catch up with the others" he said while placing his scarf around his neck, getting ready to go._

_I felt warm at how sure he sounded when I said 'once you're alright'… "Have they gone so far ahead?" I asked smiling._

_"Nah, not really but they will, or else…" he smirked at me. I giggled._

_"Creepy" I said._

_He smiled lightly and took his bag "Take care" with that he left._

-\/-

Ray seemed to be debating with himself on telling something while looking at me troubled. I rubbed my forehead while a headache was developing once again.

"Did you and Kai, had a fight or something…?" he finally asked.

I looked at him resting my head on my hand. He just seemed so wrong sitting there. His voice, his presence, the way he looked at me, everything on him was just wrong. I started feeling rage just by looking at him. What was he doing there to begin with? He had no right to be there, I wanted him to leave.

I shifted on my sit and sat on my knees leaning slightly over, with the track supporting my weight.

"Tell me Ray, why are you here?" I stated my question watching him coldly.

Ray looked at me a bit surprised. I could tell he was trying to figure how I meant my question. I knew that apart from my condition, I was superior to him at the moment, because he had doubts.

"So you won't be lone-"

"You're lying" I cut him straightforward.

He watched me carefully. I don't know if he was lying, but he didn't know it either. When somebody has even one doubt, you can use it against them and manipulate them. Heh, I bet you wouldn't have guessed I was the person to do such a thing. But I was really angry. Not so much at Ray, but in the condition. And Ray was my way to take it out.

"You have three reasons to be here" I told him, showing the number three with my fingers of the hand that didn't held my sore head "One, is that you're curious" I talked slowly, without parting my eyes from him. He had frozen and listened to me, making sure his breathing wasn't loud so he wouldn't miss my words "You wanna know what happened with Kai and me. The second is that you pity me" I raised my eyebrow showing him I was sure of my words. Which I wasn't. My anger, stress and pain gave this conclusion and I simply let it out "And the third, is that you feel guilty…" his eyes widen a little and then glared in the same moment he moved to protest but once again I cut him "Because" I continued "You know that you enjoy my suffering. And you're here to ease your guilt, saying yourself you are by my side when I need you, because you care".

I stopped. My face decorated a clear cold glare I knew it. Ray had frozen and he was half glaring too, seeming to believe what I said was unthinkable.

At the end he forced himself to calm, most likely because he didn't want to yell at me at my state, which only pissed me more "You're out of your mind Max" he said shaking his head and stood up.

I dropped myself back so I wouldn't be sitting on my knees and kicked the track with all the strength I could (which wasn't too much for so much effort I put in it, but did its work) on him, making him sit back to the bed again and everything on the track spreading on him and all around.

"Guess what" I spat "I don't need your pity"

He stayed still for a moment wide eyed looking he mess. I was leaning to the side, supporting my weight on my arms on the bed; eyes not leaving him as if I wanted to be sure my anger wouldn't be wasted for even a second in case I looked elsewhere.

Finally he looked at me glaring me as much as I did with him. He kicked the track aside and stood up dusting what he could from his clothing, at the end he turned to me once again. This time he had an arrogant cold serious expression.

"You are spoiled. Childish. Ungrateful. And way too self centered. Now you guess what. The world doesn't revolve around you" he stepped close and leaned close to me "When you grow up and learn to think before you act then talk down to me all you want. Just because you don't know how to deal with your own idiocy, doesn't mean everything will be forgiven to you. And I don't plan to play your boxing sack so you'll feel better"

I watched and listened to him the whole while, feeling cornered, and his words burned like fired steel. The moment he stopped talking, he straightened up and simply turned around and walked away.

I instinctly grabbed the book I had been reading earlier and threw it at him in a desperate attempt to fight back, and hurt him like he did with his words. He easily dodged it without much effort and looked at me with the same look like before. He said nothing; he simply shook his head and walked out leaving me alone.

I stayed glaring at the door, breathing fast from my anger and shaking. I bit my lips. I wouldn't cry again. I had done this way too much. I bit my lips to the point I felt the metallic taste of blood in my tongue, and griped the blanket until my knuckles were white.

_Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT!_

I dropped myself back not sure of who I was cussing in my mind. Myself or Ray. I brought the pillow on my face and screamed my lugs out muffled by it. I sighed afterward and placed the pillow aside watching the ceiling tiredly.

_I wanna get out of here…_

**Kai's POV**

I don't like caffeine.

But that day I had overdone it. I was drinking my third coffee sitting with the rest in the cafeteria. I was in one table with Kenny and Hillary had her lesson with Tyson in the one opposite ours. I am used to sleeping a little, but I hadn't slept at all that night. And when I say at all. I mean AT ALL. So I needed coffee in case to not drag myself around.

I watched over Max for an hour or two. I left the room around three after midnight. Now that I think of it I should have just taken a nap there and leave afterward, but I was worried that he might wake up. He was waking up a lot, due to the pain and everything. After that I walked in the town a bit, until it started raining a bit and I sat under a closed shop's roof until it had stopped at dawn. When I got back I sat to a couch in the reception and attempted to sleep just where I was sitting, but didn't manage, and in the end when the cafeteria opened I sat there and waited the others.

I frowned slightly. Right now Ray was upstairs to bring him breakfast, I was worried for the younger one. Ray is a good guy, but sometimes he forgets to act at the age or condition of the person he faces. And Max was in bad state all these days, he could be in his limits anytime now, if he got upset it could have unpleasant results.

"Tyson pay attention"

I looked over at the other two. Tyson was watching me sideways, but turned back to his lesson with Hillary when I noticed. Great, that was all I need. One more thing to worry about.

I ran my fingers through my hair and took a sip of my coffee. Later we would go to train. Tomorrow we will have to go to the tournament again. From one point I'm looking forward for it to be over so we can go back, but from the other I don't know what I will do with the kid when we're back. And I couldn't even discuss it with him now.

After all it couldn't work very well if I was just distancing myself. There were more than just the latest facts. I was watching over him and covering him right? I couldn't do that if I wasn't close to him and I also couldn't do it through Ray, additionally I didn't like the idea of mixing him with Max in such matter.

I sighed and closed my eyes leaning on my hand.

_I hope he's alright…_

-/\-

_"Kai" he called._

_I looked up from where I was laid on his bed, reading some Code Geass. He was sitting at my bed reading one manga himself "Yes?" I asked._

_"When snow melts, what does it become?" he said smiling brightly._

_I raised my eyebrow "Water?"_

_He chuckled "No! It becomes spring! Because no matter how cold it is, spring will come without a fail!"_

_My eyebrow almost touched the base of my hair "Is it some kind of half-full, half-empty idiom or something?" I sat up and he laughed lightly, holding the blanket over his shoulder and raised the manga he was holding._

_"It says it here. Pretty optimistic huh?"_

_"Suit yourself" I said and stood up taking the manga from him and checking it "Fruits Basket? Isn't that for girls?"_

_"You brought it to me! C'mon it's fun, gimme!" he said reaching to get it from me._

_I held it higher to tease him while looking through it fast "Well, I took whatever manga I found in the waiting room, that doesn't mean you have to read it"_

_He tugged on my shirt and reached higher for it "Give it to me! Come on, since I started it, at least let me finish it!"_

_ I chuckled slightly and returned it to him ruffling his hair softly. He smiled and curled again under the blanket letting only his eyes out, holding the book up to read it._

_I sat down again and opened my manga as well lazing off too._

_"You know" he said and looked at me over the top of his manga._

_I looked at him "Hm?"_

_He stared at me for a moment and then smiled sweetly "Nothing…" with that he hid behind his book once again._

-\/-

I smiled weakly, leaned in a way no one would notice. I honestly enjoyed some of the moments we passed together. I rarely let myself calm and feel a bit carefree too. For his sake, I allowed myself to do so, and I had my good moments as well. I didn't expect to let myself free at that point with any person in the team, but at the end I did. He needed it, but after all, maybe I needed it too. But sadly good things don't last a lot… I was acting optimistic with his condition, and I was so sure he would be alright, than now I frowned in the possibility that he wouldn't…

"Kai, are you alright?"

I looked up at chief. Even if I couldn't see his eyes I knew he was concerned, I could tell that much at least.

"Yes, Chief, I'm fine" I nodded and took another sip of my coffee.

"Yesterday, when you came down from Max's room you looked a bit somehow, did something happen? I-I mean- if there is something you wanna tell! I-I'm not curious or anything! But if there's something I could do-"

"Chief" I cut him. I kind of wanted to smile. He loses his words so easily, I'm impressed he actually talked to me, he usually is afraid of me, but… I suppose its normal from the way we had met… Gosh I don't know what I was thinking back then "Calm down, everything is ok" I said.

He sighed calming down from the panic attack he just went through.

"O-Ok if you say so, I just…"

"He's worried, just like I am" Tyson filled his phase looking at me.

I turned to him. Hillary looked at me pouting slightly, she was concerned as well, but since thanks to Tyson's cover she didn't know much of what was going on, she couldn't express herself correctly.

I watched them with blank face but mentally frowning slightly, but also feeling a bit at ease. Those people cared a lot for Max, they could help him too if I couldn't in some point. But right then I only had them worry. I had no choice though. A promise is a promise.

Tyson and I looked at each other for a moment. Then like exchanging some unspoken words, he sighed slightly and looked at Hillary.

"Where were we?" he asked her.

"Ah!" she yelped and returned to the lesson quickly.

Kenny sighed slightly too and opened Dizzy who unfortunately had no comments for us.

I watched them as each one started occupying themselves with their stuff and for some reason I felt them all closer than I ever had somehow…

After a while Ray came downstairs and joined with the rest. I didn't get the chance to ask how Max was doing until we went for training.

He sighed "He has been and better" he replied, cleaning the pieces of his beyblade while Tyson was getting ready as well at the other side of the room "Seriously, he has a temper problem"

"Not really…" I said pretty annoyed. Had he actually managed to get Max upset?

"Oh yes he does, and he is spoiled too" he too was annoyed. I could tell he hadn't calmed from whatever happened in my room.

"Did you tell him that?" see what I meant? Ray sometimes forgets… But he isn't the one to get pissed over nothing, so… Max had his share on this too. Great, I had managed to upset Max enough for him to have to take his anger out on someone else.

"I did… kind of" he frowned, most likely realizing he was too harsh from what I could guess.

"Ray, if I wanted someone to get him worst, I-"

"Look" he cut me, tired from the whole thing "If you can't take care of him for yourself, then you could ask some adult, and in my opinion you should. You can't handle him".

I stared at him really annoyed now. I nodded.

"Yeah, right thanks, you're big help Ray" I said sarcastically and walked from him and stood aside to start instructing him and Tyson as they started training.

Ray and I had no other words for the rest of the day. I was mad at him but maybe he had a point… Still it wasn't time yet to consider this. I would when we were back at home, and Max was safe and sound.

Later that day Tyson had taken the keys from Ray and visited Max himself to see how he was doing but he found him asleep and didn't want to wake him. At the end of the day the keys ended in Hillary, who would be the one to watch over Max while we would be away the following day. The afternoon passed quickly, they once again played cards in the café, I had borrowed one of the laptops of the hotel and had some look in the internet on stuff that I was interested in. They had invited me to play too, but I was pretty stressed thinking about Max and I wouldn't be working well so I said no.

When it was finally night, guess where I slept… Don't bother, I'll tell you. In the bus. Yeah, in the bus that we used to travel around town. Sadly I didn't go to check on Max at all that day, but I was too tired to go before I sleep, so I gave in and fell asleep as soon as I was in the seats. I am not difficult to sleep when I'm tired; wherever you place me I can drop dead until I'm rested.

So I closed my eyes with one last though before I drift to my dreamland.

_I'll check on him tomorrow, the moment we return from the tournament…_

**Max's POV**

_Pain. Pain. Pain._

_It hurts everywhere._

I curled up shaking all over with my arms wrapped around myself and my eyes tightly shut. I winched and dug my nails in my shoulders letting a whimper. I rolled around but there was no position I could take that didn't hurt. There was no way I could go back to sleep like this, I felt as if someone had replaced my covers with pieces of glass.

I sat up and dug my face in my knees gripping my own hair panting. This had happened once again, but Kai had given me some kind of pill and it had eased down for some hours. I raised my eyes and looked around the room with my lower lip trembling as I was scanning the room.

Where had he placed them?

I stood up letting a silent pained sound; I dropped on my knees as soon as I was out of the bed and covered my ears. It felt as if someone had found it enjoyable to play drums in my head or something. I shut my eyes and stayed still with my face buried on my bed waiting for a little while for it to stop. It didn't. But at least it became bearable after a bit.

Grabbing the chance I crawled on the other bed and lifted his bag, looking through it hoping to find the pills he had provided me with. He said I shouldn't take them a lot, and I didn't. Only in cases like this he gave me. I searched through it and found them. I didn't bother to look for water; I doubt I would have managed to reach the table in the other side, so I swallowed it as it was, then I laid down curling up to warm myself as much as I could and closed my eyes waiting for it to ease my suffering.

It didn't take too long. Soon I felt the pain blur and my tensed parts to loosen. I sighed in relief and uncurled a bit, allowing myself to breathe again. It was far past midnight. There was a big clock downstairs and it rung the hours until midnight. It had been long since I heard it ring twelve times. Right then it should be around three or something.

I sighed and closed my eyes calming lightly. I wished the next day would be better. This one was awful. Days like this are the ones you want to forget, to find a way to be happy. Days like this…

I opened my eyes staring the closed window. It was raining slightly. I could tell the rhythmic sound from it…

Days like this I used my medicine… It made me forget, and it made me happy even for a little… Kai said, that if I attempted to take it again, he would tell me out.

I squeezed my pillow frowning.

_But anymore… I don't know… I just want to get out of here…_

_I… Want to forget_

At the last though I felt as if someone hit my head with an axe and it was tear in half. I literally screamed out but as soon as it came it left. I was griping my hair freaked out staring the ceiling wide eyed breathing fast.

"What the heck…?" I mumbled panting. I sighed and returned to normal after a while.

Once everything was back to normal I returned to what I was thinking… I think I had money to… If… Well…

_Guilt. _

It was coming back. But I had enough… Maybe once more it could help me… But even if it didn't I wanted to get out of there. I had enough. Enough. That's all I knew. I was suffocating.

I knew the pill would keep me standing for at least until noon the following day. So that was as much time as I had.

Once the sun was up and the others had left I did what I wanted so badly with the first chance.

I ran.

**To be continued~**

* * *

Guys I swear to god I don't hate Ray... He comes out pretty mean, but I had started to watch beyblade for Ray! I dont know what the hell happens with him here... Ah, I guess i dont think when I am writting... Out of subject: Do you know CLAMP? The manga creators? Well they rock, and so does the anime called Code Geass.

And... Im sorry if they are out of character *facepalm*

Ray: and you want me to belive you don't hate me...?

Tyson: Ray, you're out of subject, here we ask the fans to review.

Ray: yeah right, review and please say you dont hate me...

Max: so, we featured too xxxholic, code geass and fruits basket?

Kai: yeah i think so... *points* this one is good too and-

Tyson&Ray: GUYS!

Kai & Max: *the otakus* What?

Tyson&Ray:...

Kenny: please review

Dizzy: Please review. I'll also say the thanks giving because I didn't say ANYTHING in the chapter, and generaly in this fanfiction. So-

**Thanks to:** DarkBia mostly, who was extremely eager and encouranging. Thank you so much, you're just so kind. Inyoface for the commenting and also for the inspiration I consider her idol~ To animewolfgurl, animefan02 and all the others who read and enjoy my story. Thank you so much! I'm so grateful!

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

Had Enough_ (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	9. Chapter 9: So Cold

Hello girls and girls (if there are any boys reading this story which I doubt, HELLO BOYS TOO!). It's been a while, heh, I hope you would like this chapter, even if I was half asleep in the middle of it and I might had been writing nonsence. Whoa, once again I will say I am looking forward for when they go back, you know I am not sure I give so much interest in the chapters. I mean, I am interested while writing them 3 Every moment is playing on my mind to the tiny detail like a piece of art while I work, but I am not sure how interesting it is for you guys. I am reaching to the point when they will be back, and then we'll see more but they won't come to be together anytime soon. You know, I am more into the plot and the characters and less into the romance, is it bad? What do you think? I feel like I start to lose the track hah! I will keep making this story tho. Because I love it. I started writing it out of nowhere but I give my heart to it. Well, I mumbled a lot my worries. Neh, I love my gf, I love my storied, I love the people who support me, and I love Beyblade HA! Now now, go ahead. I won't bother further. Only the story feature of the day is at the bottom, so don't forget to check it. Have fun~

Review and make me happy PLEASE! I'll update sooner if u encourage me! And thank to everyone who read this story ;w; I place much heart into it and it makes me happy every little review/allert/fave w Thanks~

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. ****Ah! And also, Im not expert of drugs or withdrawals and all! Be kind if it seems unreal...**

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter nine  
**

**So Cold  
**

**Kai's POV**

_Snow…_

I looked up at the sky as we were walking out of the tournament's building. It was snowing.

When we had come over at the morning it was cold but there was no sign of snow or even rain, yet now there was even a thin line of white covering the cars at the sides of the road.

I like snow generally, even if some people would say it's because it's cold just like me, but that's not the reason. The way it falls, the shape of the snowflakes it's like a perfection showoff from nature. Generally it makes me feel calm to see the snow falling, but this time it didn't. I don't know why but I felt like it shouldn't be there. The season was natural to have snow, but still… I didn't like it there…

"Oh, it's snowing" the neko-jii of the team stood beside me taking the view as well with a smile. When I saw Ray this morning the anger between us was forgotten and we simply moved on with the tournament, just passing on to the next round.

"Oh no…" that was chief who was holding dizzy tightly in his lap, while he had covered with a thick jacket with furry hood and wore a couple of gloves as well "If it snow too much we won't be able to return home…"

"Come on chief, I don't think it'll snow too much, but even if it will, I doubt it'll remain until Friday" Ray replied.

Tyson walked out as well breathing a puff of hot air, looking the scenery seeming to like the view of the snow as well "Well, it's not unusual in Japan to have snow for weeks" he smiled at it, obviously liking the possibility.

"I don't like cold…" mattered Kenny with his teeth chattering.

Tyson chuckled and wrapped and arm around his shoulders "Come on Chief, let's get you in the bus before we get the 'Geek Snowman' or 'Know it all ice-cream' it doesn't even sound tasty!" he and Ray laughed lightly as they led the way to the bus with Chief shaking like a leaf from the cold between them.

I followed with my hands in the pockets of my coat watching them joking with each other as they stepped in the vehicle. I paused with my hand on the door and looked around at all this snow and my stomach twisted. It had been a while I felt bothered by something, but I am not the person to believe in instinct and sixth sense or anything. So I simply placed it as my imagination. Maybe all the times I had been called 'cold', 'snowman', 'ice cube' etc were started to catch up and made me feel negatively over it… I sighed making a puff in the cold air and stepped inside the bus.

I made my way to the back and got a seat, taking my usual cross armed position, I stayed watching out of the window and watching all this white I recalled the idiom thing Max had told me the other day 'When the snow melts, it becomes spring' he had said. I was never the kind of person who waited for spring. I don't have anything against it, but I wasn't interested or eager to wait it. I am fine with winter and with all the years I have passed in Russia, the sunny weather and the whole warm scenery is pretty foreign to me. I don't seek for it.

But… If the snow melting meant spring would come in more than just the turn of the seasons, I would like it to be soon… If this weather was mirroring someone's feelings… The kid's feelings… I would prefer it to turn warm soon… Max has gone through a lot. And not just since when I found out. If he gave a turn into something like drugs, I don't think it was simple curiosity, he has more brain than that. Something must have happened to lead him there…

I closed my eyes and dropped my head front thoughtfully. I wouldn't go into guessing what happened, if he wanted he would tell me sometime. I was simply concerned at the moment. I hadn't seen him since the day before yesterday and I was very worried about his physical and emotional condition. There was that fight with Ray yesterday too which I didn't check the outcome of…

_I am thinking like an overprotective parent don't I?_

We had left Hillary with him like usual but you know it's not the same as having a look on the thing of your own. And personally when I have something to do I want to do it alone so I can have control over it and make sure it'll come out just like I want. No wonder I never managed to cope with teamwork projects in school…

In all the way back my teammates were joking around and laughing but I was too impatient and stressed to pay attention to what they were saying. I would feel calm again only when I would be sure he was safe and sound. And I would finally get the chance to talk a bit with him. I was enough nervous to be tapping my foot from the moment we were halfway there, until the bus stopped.

I got up and made my way to the door first, getting down. Heh, it was really freezing cold since we were warm in the bus, but the one who almost fainted from it was Chief who followed me. I forced myself to keep the pace and wait for them to walk along to the hotel, but we were halfway to the door when Hillary came running out.

Before she even got the time to say anything my stomach had twisted upside down…

_Damned instinct…_

"Hilary?" asked Tyson moving faster toward her. The girl was obviously panicked and had cried herself out of it, she must have had been waiting for us in the reception and got out once she saw us. She didn't even wear proper clothes for this weather.

"Jesus Tyson! One of you needs to get a cell phone! I didn't know how to call you and- and-" she rambled while stopping in front of us.

"Hey hey, shh, calm down" Tyson said taking a hold of her hands soothingly "What happened?"

Hilary squeezed his hands looking at his eyes hopelessly "Max, I can't find him! I was with him this morning but then I left him alone for a while and when I went to his room I didn't find him. I didn't mind at first, but then I looked around and couldn't find him! He's sick too, where could he have gone?" she let out with one breath shaking from both the cold and the pressure of the condition.

Have you ever noticed how many BAD thoughts can go through your mind in one second when you come face to face with a really unpleasant situation? Well then you know how I felt. Fifty possibilities to say the least and one worst than the other.

_I must find him…_

"Did you check around the hotel?" Ray said while placing his jacket over her shoulders, and Tyson held it closed to her neck to keep the place warm.

Hilary nodded with a whimper and held the jacket closed herself with one hand while the other was still in Tyson's "Yes, I told you, I looked everywhere"

"Calm down Hilary, he can't have gone too far" said Kenny trying to calm her as well.

"Let's go inside before you catch a cold and we get more things to worry about" Tyson said pulling the hood of her jacket over her hair.

Hillary blushed lightly and then took a look around as they started leading her inside, only then noticing something "Where's Kai? He was with you when you came" she said.

None of the others seemed surprised with my absence.

"Don't worry" said Ray with a smile that showed his fangs while he held the door open for the rest to come inside "I'm sure he'll be fine".

* * *

_Idiot, IDIOT! That's what I am! Damn it, if only I had gone to talk to him yesterday. I can't believe I was so stupid!_

I was long out of breath, having run enough to not be able to see the hotel in ten minutes. My throat was cold by the air I was taking in through my panting. I could end up with a sore throat like this, but it was the last thing in my mind then, after all my scarf kept the worst. I had my eyes wide open, checking every little detail in each street I passed.

Max, at his state being outside and in this weather above all. I could guess that he had taken one of the pills I had brought so he could come outside, but when had he taken it? It could have worn out by now leaving him weak and vulnerable.

_I dislike that snow even more now. It seems merciless and so cold upon him._

But… That wasn't the only danger he was exposed to… And one thing I feared a lot was the reason he came out here in the first place… It didn't need much though…

I shook my head annoyed. Damn if only he was alright and I wouldn't care for that either…

I stopped in the middle of the street panting, with my hands on my knees. I had crossed the place all the way to the central town. If he was looking for that damned poison he would come there. I am not an expert but you can't get such things everywhere. I would be surprised if he had actually managed to get it either way. But the dealers sadly know well to tell out their customers even if they have never seen them before. I had seen Max look desperate. I was pretty sure an expert wouldn't have difficulties in realizing…

I looked around walking slower just to make sure I won't miss a thing. It was getting dark even if it wasn't late really; the weather made it darker than the actual day time and the snowfall was getting thicker.

_Troublesome kid…_

_I hope I'll find him before he freezes to death or… Get anywhere close to death by any means possible…_

_Ain't I very optimistic?_

"Heh" I let out sarcastically over myself and walked around the central park.

**Max's POV**

_Cold… So Cold…_

I had used my last powers from the effect of the pill to drag myself somewhere I wouldn't attract attention and I ended up in an alleyway. The only other living thing except of me there was a cat which used a carton box as shelter.

Once again every inch of my body was in pain, and to add in all it started snowing when I left the hotel. And by now it was thick enough to cover me completely in less than an hour if I sat still there. I had my back against the wall and had spread my feet to the front, my clothing wasn't exactly what someone would wear in a day like this, but I was in a hurry. If Hillary was coming back before I left, I would be trapped there. I didn't want that…

I winced as I attempted to move the tip of my fingers. They had frozen in the snow and I could hardly feel anything but pain from the rest of my body, not to mention I was shaking like mad under this merciless cold and the withdrawal in addition.

I looked up at the sky and some snowflakes fell on my face but I was occupied at how lonely and nostalgic it felt to notice, but I was too cold to feel it anyway…

_Pain… Loneliness… Sadness… Suffering… Cold…_

All torturing me and yet I was holding the solution... I tightened in my hand the hold of the tiny injection I had managed to get before I fall apart. I looked down at its amber color and I swear it was more tempting than water in the desert…

I took it out of the plastic bag with trembling hands and held it for a while simply taking the view of it.

_Guilt… Loneliness… Empty… Cold…_

I raised my hand and bit my sleeve. Slowly I pulled it up without taking my eyes from the object in my other hand. I'm pretty sure my lips should have been purple from the cold, but somehow I couldn't feel much of a thing.

I let go of my sleeve and lowed my hand again with my wrist exposed. I didn't do other movement; I simply watched the thing I used to call my medicine… It still felt like this. I knew I would be better if I had it. Even if it was an illusion, even if it wouldn't last forever, just for as long as it would last, I would be relieved…

"Look at you Max…" I mumbled raising the object staring at it… "Look at yourself Max..." I continued repeating the words that had been told to me "Look at what, this thing turned you to…"

I moved the needle close to my skin and chuckled sadly, then I pressed end of it and emptied the liquid on my skin, it slowly flowed and fell to the snow dirtying it, I watched as my salvation went wasted like this, going so close on giving me relief, yet the surface kept it from running through my system... I pulled down my sleeve wiping what was left on my skin.

I dropped my head back once again with my head resting against the bricked wall, and the pain overtaking every little bit of me all over again. Even though the cold was started to make me numb and sleepy.

"Good boy…" I whispered merely hearing myself. I closed my eyes remembering the way he had said it…

I could recall it clearly…

_Good boy…_

You know, if I was simply dyeing there from the cold, it would be oh so ironic… Seriously… I had even given my medicine on waste just to not disappoint them… No, him… I didn't want to disappoint him, and maybe I hoped to prove myself I was a little bit stronger of how pathetic I felt…

I had no more strength to move at all, and I was slowly freezing under the white blanket Mother Nature provided me. If felt nice to sleep there… Oh so nice… I had almost given in and was slowly drifting to sleep…

Everything was silent, until I heard the sound of snow crushing under somebody's weight. I paid no mind in my half asleep state, after all I had heard it sometimes from distance, but this one paused and then approached, until it stopped just when it was next to me. I wasn't planning on opening my eyes at all. I just wanted to sleep, but the voice that came was way too familiar to ignore…

"Troublesome kid…" it was merely a whisper, but I could make out it who it belonged to. Kai… I tensed and my heart started sending more blood through my body as it started racing. I attempted to open my eyes but couldn't come to do so yet.

There was a little pause and then more sound of snow crushing just beside me, and I was moved from my position onto something warm. I still had my eyes closed, from his breathing I could tell he had some good time running, but from my new position I could also hear his heartbeats… I opened my eyes slowly with more effort than usual, and looked up at him tiredly. He had wrapped his arms around me tightly while his heart was racing. Was he… Relieved…?

Our eyes met for very little before he teared his gaze, and turned to dusting the snow off me with gentle moves. He had kneeled beside me and had me half lay on his lap; next he took off his jacket and placed it around me, making the heat rise in my cheeks. I didn't know what to say, I just looked at him.

He pulled my back slightly so I sat on my own again and took off his scarf, and placed it warmly around my neck, without having his eyes meet mine, while my own eyes were locked in his, waiting for the slightest contact. The scarf around my neck smelled like him, and was warmer than the jacket… It must have been because he wears it a lot.

His eyes slowly met mine once he was sure the scarf was warmly wrapped multiple times around my neck. His breath was calming while his hands where holding the jacket around me. I was trying my hardest to read his expression but I couldn't find anything of what I expected…

I don't know how long we stayed so. At the end I was the one who teared our eye contract and looked down embarrassed. I heard him sigh.

"I am sorry, ok…?" my eyes widen a bit hearing him say that. I looked at him surprised and he had a half annoyed half embarrassed and apologetic look. I moved to ask why was he apologizing but he had turned his attention elsewhere and his expression had gone blank. I followed his gaze and landed it on the empty syringe.

I winced and looked at him biting my lip; I reached for his shirt and tugged on it slightly to catch his attention again. He turned his eyes to me tiredly and even if he didn't show it much, I could see his disappointment. I frowned and spread my shaky arms in front. He looked at me straight and then looked down at my hands softly checking each of them.

"I'm clean, I didn't take it" I managed to force my voice out finally.

He stroked my wrists lightly with his thumbs and sighed once again but this time it was from relief I could tell and looked at me. He moved his hand toward me and I shut my eyes waiting for a good slap or something. But I only felt a gentle ruffle of my hair.

"Good boy…" he said.

I blushed looking down shaking lightly from top to bottom. I didn't even looked at him as he stood up, but I left a yelp once I was out of the ground without any warning. He half placed me over his shoulder and turned around leaving the alley as if nothing happened. I clung to his shirt on the back, feeling pretty weird and deeply embarrassed to be carried like this. Not to mention I was still surprised.

"H-Hey" I managed to say but he cut the rest of the sentence.

"We're going back, everyone is worried for you" he said but I couldn't see his expression the way he was holding me.

I stayed still for a moment with my cheeks burning, looking at him sideways griping his shirt tightly. We stayed quiet for a while, the roads didn't have many people, mostly because of the weather, it wasn't so late just yet, it should be around eight.

I didn't last long. I just couldn't take this silence, and I had so many questions…

"Are you mad at me…?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course I am" he replied and it felt something really heavy landed on my chest, but then he continued "It was reckless to get out like this. You got everyone worried, not to mention you could have frozen where you had sat. Alleyways aren't the best to get a nap, I have done it once or twice and it wasn't even snowing".

I looked at him even if from my position his face wasn't shown… I smiled lightly, that wasn't what I was asking of, but still… I hanged my head over "Will you tell me out…?"

"Well… You didn't take it, did you?" he replied and turned a bit to look at me, with a slight darker color than his usual pale on his cheeks.

I smiled once again feeling so grateful and looked back down at the road we were passing "Thank you…" I hugged him the way I could from where I was being held. He said nothing… I wondered if he was worried enough for me to have forgotten what I did and had him run off.

"Max…" he said lowly.

I raised my gaze again "Yes?"

"Don't do that again…" he said in a way as if someone just took off something really heavy from him. I turned my eyes down again and decided to play a bit with my luck, just to get an answer of something I couldn't ask straightforward…

"Don't do what…?"

He turned his head the other way from the shoulder he was holding me to "Don't run away on your own…" he said softly.

"Only that…?" I bit my lips feeling really ashamed to ask this.

"I am not mad at you, Max…"

I smiled weakly getting what he wanted to say. He didn't want me to do anything 'weird' again, but he wasn't mad at me at least… I clung to him and closed my eyes feeling the sleepiness from before returning.

"Sleep" he said feeling my grip weakening on his clothing "You must be really tired…"

I nodded and dropped myself on his hold closing my eyes, soon I had drifted to sleep, and thankfully every pain seemed to have gone cold for the time as well…

**Kai's POV**

I could tell he soon was asleep. And I was left to make my way in silence.

I knew what answer he was trying to fish out with his questions before, but I didn't know how to explain to him. After all, now and generally with the matter I was unprepared, I was too worried for his sake too, the word relief for what I felt when I saw him is simply poor, although I could hardly make out it was him, gosh he's blond too, thank god he wore green and it was standing out, I could have missed him if I wasn't careful.

I glanced over at him, his breathing was steady and his body wasn't as shaky as the last time I saw him. It's with its times, but the fact he didn't take the drug although he had it in his hands back then, makes me simply proud in a way and raises him in my eyes. He's really strong…

Now, about his feelings toward me… I don't know what to say…

I placed that aside once again and finally reached the hotel. Everyone were there obviously waiting for us in the living room. Tyson was sitting with Hillary sleeping to his side, her head laid on his shoulder, while he was stroking her hair. Ray had his arms crossed and was passing around the room and Kenny was sitting in an armchair with Dizzy on his knees, until they saw us.

Tyson looked worried but didn't move to not wake Hilary, but he relaxed when I nodded to him that all was ok. Ray came over to me to make sure all was alright too and placed a towel on my head; I nodded for thanks, and walked upstairs, if any words were exchanged in the living room I can't recall.

When I finally reached my room I used one hand to open while the other held Max in place and walked inside feeling as if I had just finished a long quest I had been sent to.

I paused in the middle of the room and looked at the beds.

_In which one do I place him?_

I shook my head and stood in front of my own bed. Carefully I took him off me and placed him on the bed, his clothes were wet but I just took off the jacket from him and covered him with the blanket warmly, I sat on the other bed and wiped my hair with the towel Ray had placed on my head while I was still downstairs.

My eyes were locked on the younger one who was sleeping deeply curled to himself. Now that he was back safe and sound I was troubled by what happened. This time he didn't go back to it and it was a huge step, but will the same happen next time? Maybe Ray was right when he had said I couldn't take care of him…

I sighed once again and moved to take off my scarf, but found my neck bare; I looked over at the kid and saw it was around him. I must have had done this unconsciously… I don't like people touching it, say of wearing it, but… Whatever…

I got up and left the towel in the bathroom after drying my hair, I leaned over the sink with my hands supporting my weight on it and looked at the mirror thoughtfully. He had calmed down for now, if that was the worst moment in his emotional state I could cope with it, but back home I wouldn't be able to watch over him and if he was with someone who was clueless of his state they wouldn't be able to treat him properly. I have met Max's father, he's very kind person and Max is everything in his life, I don't know how he would react if he learned about it… But if it was for Max's sake…

"Kai…"

I looked up and pulled away from the sink. I walked back to the room and toward the blond, but he was asleep. Was I starting to imagine things? I was sure I heard my name…

And then he said it again, curling more to himself griping the pillow with an expression which gave out a really uneasy sleep. I frowned and crouched once again to the side of his bed and stroked his hair gently to calm him down. It seemed to work and he was soon sleeping peacefully again…

I watched him for a while staying in my crouched position next to him… I didn't want to betray his trust, but what was more important? His health or our relationship? Heh, the answer was clear; the most important was for him to be alright… Even if that meant I would once again be called traitor, I was planning to cope with it.

Of course we had four more days to stay here and for me to think what I will do…

I pulled myself to my feet and walked to the closet changing to dry clothes, after that I dropped myself on the bed. Bed, I had missed being in a bed, I might even manage to rest… My eyes traveled once again over to my roommate who seemed to continue his peaceful sleep. I rolled to my side so I would be facing him. I felt relaxed seeing him just like I had got used to, it felt like everything was back to normal.

I wouldn't mind keep pretending nothing had happened; sometimes it's easier if you simply pretend. I do that a lot even if there's been a while now that I have dropped some masks…

My eyes fell once again to my scarf around his neck and then to his face. I stayed staring at him for a little more, having tired already my mind too much for the day I wasn't thinking anything. I allowed myself to relax for a little bit… The only sound in the room was his rhythmic breathing and a tic toe from the clock on the wall, it was the only thing that gave a sign that time was passing, or else I wouldn't have known.

I lay down finally and closed my eyes… It wasn't long until I drifted to my dreamless sleep resting with less worries than the day before. I would have the time being to worry again from the following day…

I sighed in my sleep.

_Four more days…_

**To be continued~**

* * *

Kai: you know, I feel like Edward Cullen stalking him while he sleeps like this.

Author: GOOD GOD NO! Come on, you aren't stalking him, you're watching over him. Not to mention he isn't your food XD

Kai: Hn...

Max: *giggles and bows* Please review, it makes the author really happy and makes her work worth it.

Hilary: Please review ^/^

Tyson: Thank you for reading, please give your support with a review~

Ray: You know I think Kai is out of character in your fanfiction. He is too calm and glares rarely.

Author: ;/; he does that too, but when you are working and all...

Ray: I still think he's out of character

Kenny: *coughs* Guys! *shakes head* Please review, and check out the story 'Sometimes Fate Needs a Push" by DarkBia, it isn't so long ahead yet, but it's an interesting one.

Dizzy: And once again please remember to send your love with a review~~~

Kai: You mumbled a lot. Thats all for now folks.

Max: ^^ Will see you soon.

* * *

Ah, I think I didn't reply to the reviews from the last chapter, But I read them all and it made me relly happy I swear! Haaa Inyoface, I love long reviews 333 Thank you so much, I had a bad day when u had sent this and it made it better 100%, DarkBia thank you so much too, you can't imagine how happy I was to be mentioned in your story, and thank you for encouranging me to keep on thank you thank you 33

**Also Thanks to:** JamieRay, Aly-K-H, SongoftheShadows, And all the others who read my story! Thank you so much! I'm so grateful!

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_So Cold__ (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	10. Chapter 10: Natural Life

Well we finally reached chapter ten! Ten! The round number ya know! Whoa we made this this far, Im excited =w=... Well most of the chapters I write are 6 to 7 pages in word. This one is 11 and something~ It went so long because I had chosen where I would end it, and kept writting until I had reached it... Honestly, I wanted to get over with it. I think it came out pretty boring, I dont know... I hope the next chapters will be better. You know what I want from the ppl who will review? To tell me if you see any difference to my way of writting. I mean bad difference, or any major change to the characters. Maybe it's just me but I was really feeling something was going wrong while I wrote this chapter. Ah, my girlfriend started reading my story and she said it's like a dorama (note: she loves dorama) and Im very happy for this ;w; she's not even into the phantom but she reads it for me. Thank you love~~ One of the reasons im worried of my writting is her XD I dunno how but she could have affected me. Not with the plot, but she kept distracting me! WHATEVER! Oh btw, if you arent into Vocaloids DONT I repeat DONT get into them. They are addicting things...

Review and make me happy PLEASE! I'll update sooner if u encourage me! And thank to everyone who read this story ;w; I place much heart into it and it makes me happy every little review/allert/fave w Thanks~

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. **

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter ten  
**

**Natural Life  
**

**Max's POV**

After that day things were back to the way they used to be.

Kai still brought and took breakfast with me in the mornings, and when they returned he still would spend time with me. I didn't crawl to his bed anymore of course to curl to his side the nights, I didn't dare to. But I still had taken over his bed, so we pretty much, just traded beds. He never asked me about the incident from a couple of days ago, he didn't even act like he remembered it. He wasn't distancing himself as somebody else would normally do, but maybe that was because he didn't need to. I was distancing myself instead…

I didn't do anything major, I simply tried to not have him help me walk around or make him get too close to me for any reason. In other words, I simply tried to prevent any physical contact with him… He didn't seem to force himself to interact with me, but still I felt like he was.

I don't know how to place it exactly, maybe it wasn't just that. I think I felt like in a way, since he didn't mind to be around me and all he was ignoring my feelings as well. He had somewhat rejected me, yet he didn't act like this. Don't get me wrong, I didn't believe he had any thoughts of me the way I did; I simply couldn't figure what he was thinking at all…

I turned my eyes from the TV to him. He was sitting to the bed with his back against its head reading a thick book with his feet laid front one above the other. He seemed pretty caught up in the book. I watched him for a while thoughtfully with my chin rested on my knees and my arms wrapped around them.

I felt kind of ungrateful, I should be happy we were back to being this way. No, I WAS happy I could still have him around me like this. It was relaxing but I would like to know a little of his thoughts. When he had told me he wasn't mad I knew what he wanted to say, yet was it all just this? I mean, didn't it bother him at all? Sometimes I wish he was as easy to read as the books he brought…

"Yes?" I heard him call softly when he noticed I was looking at him. I smiled lightly and shook my head.

"Nothing" I said. He looked at me for a bit longer to make sure I really didn't need anything and turned back to his book. I examined his expression; he didn't seem bothered at all. I mean, if I knew somebody liked me and found them staring at me, I would feel a bit uncomfortable to say the least.

_Well, I suppose every person has their own reactions under any circumstances…_

I watched the TV show a little longer without much interest. Earlier that day I had very hard withdrawal symptoms and couldn't deal with them, so Kai let me have one of the pills. It still had effect so I was doing alright with physical pain. I turned to him once again and found him still with the face in his book.

"Is what you're reading so interesting?" I asked merely out of curiosity.

"No" he replied grimacing and looked at me "It's pretty boring actually"

I raised my eyebrow "Then why are you reading it…?"

"I have exams when we return" he replied simply.

I blinked staring at him my eyes widening lightly. He looked back at me curiously and we stayed like this for some seconds, until the information settled in my mind.

"You're a student?" I let out pretty louder than I planned.

"Why so surprised? I'm seventeen" he replied raising his eyebrow this time.

"U-Um! Yes I mean, naturally you ARE a student" I covered my face with my palm embarrassed. I mean, it was only natural for him to be a student, it's just that once again I had forgotten to consider Kai as a normal person, a teen no less so he naturally is a student as well… I suppose once again I made obvious how little we know about his life when he isn't with us. Or that he actually does have a life when he isn't with us.

"Sorry…" I mumbled looking down still covering my face.

"Don't worry, nothing to apologize for" he shaped a small smile "I just don't understand why it surprises you so much"

"It's not that it…" I sighed defeated "I don't know…" thinking it over, we (the team) had met a couple of people from Kai's life, and none of them led us think a natural teen's environment. Except of Wyatt, but he too turned to abnormal at the end…

Thinking of Voltaire, he would most likely had Kai homeschooled for the common education, but Kai said he had exams, which led me think he went to an actual school. But you know what; Voltaire had sent him to the Abbey! How could I even think he would have his grandson to a normal school?

"Private school?" I asked. He nodded.

_Naturally… _

"You must be finishing high-school now?" he nodded again.

"Last grade"

"Will you continue somewhere afterward? Or will you train to get your grandfather's business?" I asked without thinking it, realizing pretty late I was getting into his personal life with my questions, I bit my lip and moved to take it back but he started talking without noticing my panic.

"I'm already training for that. But I have several years until I'll have to run it. My grandfather is having my mother's husband do this for now. So I will most likely continue to a colleague"

I listened to him analyzing word by word his sentence in my head. What caught my attention mostly was the 'my mother's husband' which meant it wasn't his father, but he didn't even called him step-father. The way he called him he took the relationship away from himself...

I though the condition over and realized that Kai had replied very openly to my question (something he wouldn't have done two years ago for sure) which only made me to want to ask more. Maybe I would finally be able to learn more things for him, but then again, in one hand this sounded very personal, I couldn't get into this but on the other hand he said it so lightly which should be giving me the right to ask more things.

I placed my position to his life and his personal life in a scale and figured it wasn't my place, so wanting to continue the conversation but skipping getting too deep into his family business I chose to ask something entirely different.

"So what are you reading?"

"History" he replied raising a bit the book so I could have a look at the cover.

"It's the first textbook I see you read…" I replied, which was true. We were here about two weeks, and he read everything but lessons. Additionally the other day I looked through his bag for my pills, I didn't saw many books. Actually I hardly saw any book, only one notebook and a thin file-case.

"I had forgotten it in the bus, I was reading it the other day" he said.

"If you have exams, aren't you supposed to carry around all the textbooks you'll need?"

"History is my only weakness for some reason… Generally I remember names and dates from books, but the textbook of it is just… So boringly written that I fail to take in any information…" he said with a face that only proved his point.

I chuckled. History wasn't my favorite subject either "And why weren't you studying until now?"

"Because the hotel still had books I hadn't read" he replied like it was the most normal thing in the world.

I stared at him with a face that must have been writing the 'what the fuck' all over.

"So… If it still had books you hadn't read you wouldn't have studied at all, that's what you're saying" I said a bit sarcastically.

"It's not so tragic. Tomorrow we're going home and my exams are the following week, I would still have the weekend to study"

Well he had a point but still… He seemed pretty careless, I wondered if he was even a good student, but he said History was his only weakness, so I suppose he was. I was pretty sure Kai wasn't the kind of person who would pass the classes without doing anything just because his grandfather pays. Kai is the kind of person to work hard to gain anything…

_Still… It really is hard to understand how he thinks sometimes…_

"Anyways" I said while wrapping my blanket around me. I had once again started shivering, sign that the pill's effect was wearing off "Go back to your studies, don't let me interrupt you" I closed the television so the sound wouldn't distract him and lifted one of the books from the bedside table myself.

The room got filled with silence soon as we both were reading. But a short while later it was broken once again.

"Max…"

I turned to him laying the graphic novel I held in my lap.

"Mhm?" He stared at me thoughtfully and spoke again.

"Can I ask you something? You don't need to answer if you don't want to but it's been bothering me since we got here…"

I stared at him for a moment. It wasn't like Kai to be so hesitant… But whatever was that he wanted to ask, he had just answered multiply of my questions so…

"Sure, go ahead…" I replied lowly.

He sat up, letting his feet off the bed and joined his hands in front of him, ankles on his knees; he rested his lips on his hands thoughtfully for a moment, looking down. I could tell he was trying for a way to place his question.

"Look…" he sighed, lowing his hands from his lips, but tighten the grips to each other "It's none of my business I know, but since I got myself into it, I suppose it's pretty natural to wonder…Tsk" he made a face and looked away seeming annoyed with himself, then he looked at me again more determined, making me more curious even if pretty uneasy "I just…" he sighed once more and rested his eyes on mine "have been wondering how someone like you got mixed up with these things…"he paused "Drugs" he filled to be sure he made himself clear. I found myself freeze, completely unprepared.

One more time the room fell dead silent.

I watched him quietly, for some reason my mind had slowed down on its own. I wasn't shocked from the question or anything, I mean it was a normal thing to wonder of but as I moved to give an answer I realized I didn't have it.

I stared at Kai holding my breath as if I expected to find the answer on him, and he watched me patiently waiting. I let my eyes wonder elsewhere as I started scanning my memories for the beginning of this hell. I flinched as a headache started developing and rubbed my forehead searching harder.

Nothing.

My memories were divided in two parts. One part was where I had nothing to do with drugs, and the other I was into them. I could recall I had started with softer things to end up to something as heavy as heroin, but I couldn't remember the first.

"Max…?" I heard Kai's concerned voice as he stood from his bed and stepped closer to me, he kneeled one foot on the bed and sat on it so he could face me "Are you alright…?" I twitched and jumped back a bit as he reached a hand toward me, I sat back watching him and he withdrew his hand quietly "It's alright, you don't need to answer me" he said watching me seriously.

"No…" I murmured, pressing two fingers on my temple frowning as the headache was getting stronger with each of my attempts to remember "It's not that I don't want to tell you…" I whispered.

Kai kept his eyes fixed on me with interest "Then what is it?" he asked since I didn't seem to plan to continue my phase.

I pulled a pained expression from my sore head and looked at him, but I was cut from the door knocking.

I sighed and Kai growled both annoyed from the interruption, he shook his head and stood up to open the door, where stood Chief hugging dizzy to his chest.

"Um, Tyson asked me to tell you it's dinner time" he said looking up at Kai. I could tell he felt tiny in front of him, then he turned to him and smiled lightly "How are you doing, Max?"

I smiled tiredly but honestly "I'm doing well chief, thank you".

He nodded and looked back at Kai.

"I'll come in a minute" he replied. Kenny nodded, turned and walked off fast, calling a 'see you, Max' before he go.

Kai walked to his bed and placed his scarf around his neck like usually, afterward he put on a coat since the weather was still chilly. The snow had almost melted completely outside, but it was cloudy and cold still.

He looked at me "I'll bring you something to eat, I won't take long".

I smiled at him and nodded. He walked to the door and paused to look at me once again before he go; I could tell he hadn't forgotten our talk already.

"We'll talk when you're back" I reassured him.

He gestured with his head and walked out.

I sighed tiredly and placed my fingers through my hair closing my eyes, hoping the pounding of my head would calm.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you…" I mumbled lowly "I don't remember… I don't remember at all…"

I squeezed my eyes closed tighter making another attempt to remember but having no outcome other than a stronger pain through my skull. How come I hadn't realized it until now? There was a gap of one month to say the least in my memories, and they were blurry building before and after the drugs, while in the middle there were nothing. Well, nothing that I could remember.

I lay slowly down so I could rest my head on the pillow, but I couldn't snap out of this. It bothered me way too much, how could somebody forget like this? It wasn't blurry images, it was complete blank, as if it never excised…

I opened my eyes tiredly facing Kai's empty bed.

_"How someone like you got mixed up with these things?"_

He said. True, how did I?

I went back to my memories before the drugs, and checked on myself back then. Kai was right; I wasn't the kind of person to turn into drugs. I remembered that clearly now. I wasn't sad, I had no issues, and all of my problems never bothered me enough to give me such a turn…

I narrowed my eyes.

_Whatever happened it happened in that gap… What was it…?_

I kept forcing myself to remember, but I just couldn't. It was as if whatever excised in this gap had got covered so I wouldn't be able to lay a finger on it. I tried to take my memories after the drugs and follow them the way back like a rope, but once again I fell on dead end, and my mind was getting more and more tired with every push I gave it.

I could remember now that the whole story with the drugs had been going on around six months, I could as well recall some of the different things I had tried before heroin, but the dead end remained, and it was too big to give me any clues for its insides… It was like standing in a port where you knew there was land straight somewhere but you were unable to see it.

_What had happened..?_

Before I realized it my mind was giving up and I was drifting off to sleep. Soon my thoughts had sat down leaving me to my dreamland.

I slept a good long time to wake up the following noon, when we were to get ready to return home, and my last evening's conversation with Kai had got forgotten…

**Kai's POV**

When I returned to the room he was asleep.

I didn't have my answer…

* * *

"Max" I called him while I was packing my stuff the following morning. He left a little sound and curled more to his self shaking violently.

I looked at him and sighed then I walked to him and placed my hands on his shoulder nudging him softly.

"Max…" I called again and he shifted lightly opening his aqua eyes tiredly. I moved my hands away since the last days he didn't seem too fond of me touching him… You know, honestly I couldn't get used to the idea of being liked by him the way I was, and so I couldn't act like it either. It kept slipping my mind…

He raised his head a bit and looked at me "Morning…" he said harshly and stretched a bit before flinching and curling up once again "What is it…?" he finished sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"It's not exactly morning anymore, but whatever. You need to get up, we're leaving in a couple of hours" I said placing my history book in my bag along with my neatly folded clothes and the rest, I closed it.

He groaned and sat up using the head of the bed to support his spine, but held the blanket around him once he realized it was still cold "What time is it…?"

"It's three" I replied, picking up his bag to tidy his stuff as well. I chose a pair of clothes and left it outside to get him dressed, then I started folding and tidying the rest.

"Three…? Oh…" he moaned rubbing his face with both his palms "I rotted in sleep…"

I rolled my eyes smiling lightly.

"How did the tournament go…?" he asked, pulling the blanket off him in an attempt to get himself to wake up and hanged his feet from the bed.

I glanced at him but didn't bother to ask him if he wanted help, he had rejected the offer the previous days…

"We won naturally… Rookies you see" I replied watching him walk to the bathroom clumsily, using what he could for support. Seriously, I felt like slapping him for not wanting help but then who am I to talk…?

"Good…" he mumbled and closed the door in the bathroom "Are they celebrating it?" he asked behind the closed door.

"Not too much, it wasn't so difficult so they aren't excited" I walked to the door and knocked holding his clothes, after a long pause he opened and took them with a quiet 'thank you' before closing again.

I made my way to his bed and made it waiting for him to get ready, glancing to the door now and then.

He walked out looking pretty worn out, but less than he did most of the time he spent in here. His hair was made pretty well and he had washed his self awake, his clothes were once again back to the usual green and orange that made the whole 'set' look brighter. He held his folded sleep clothes and gave them to me as I reached to place them to his bag.

"Thank you" he said once again as I pulled the rope of the bag for it to close. He sat to his bed and I could see once more how the slightest movement was tiring him.

"You need to eat something" I told him and pointed a lunch box on the bedside table. He looked at it and lifted it to his lap.

"Will you give me a pill?" he asked as he forced himself to eat.

"Half" I told him "It should keep you until we go back, when it start wearing out I'll give you the other half" I lifted the books we had spread around the room and placed them one over the other to bring them back down to the reception's living room.

He paused eating and stayed watching the box "What about tomorrow…?" he asked lowly.

I wasn't the only one stressed for the outcome of returning, even if I had made up my mind…

"I'll tell you how to use them and you will take them to your house"

We would pass the night in Tyson's dojo since until the time we would be back the night would have fallen, and tomorrow morning each of us would return to their houses.

"Alright…"

I looked at him sadly at how defeated he sounded, while he still watched the bento.

"Come on, don't be like this…"

"I just don't know if I'll be able to cover my mess…"

I felt my stomach twist and looked away.

_…_

"Here" I said and left the half pill next to his glass of water "Take it after a while that you have eaten, I'm going down to leave the books" he gave me a soft smile and nodded.

I lifted the tower with the books and walked to the hall where I paused and sighed watching the floor thoughtfully.

"Jesus Kai, did you just rob Alexandria's Library or something?"

I raised my eyes to see Ray. He walked toward me and took half of the books smiling at me gently.

"Thanks" I said and he walked with me downstairs.

"How is Max?" I shrugged.

"As well as he can be… I left him eating the bento you made him"

"Good…" he looked at me concerned, but I was just watching my steps "You're stressed aren't you?"

"Kind of…" I confessed.

He sighed frowned "Relax, it'll be alright…"

"I wish it was that simple…" I paused in front of the bookcase with him, and started replacing the books to their places, and Ray did the same.

"What will you do…?" he looked at me sideway.

I didn't reply. I simply looked at him.

He looked at me calmly and then smiled soft encouragingly "The 'T' is there" he said pointing the part of the bookcase. I looked at the book I was holding and nodded placing it in the right session.

"Ah! Kai, Ray" we met Hilary on our way upstairs, she bowed lightly "Are you both ready?" she smiled sweetly.

"Yes, what about you?" Ray replied with his hand on the railing of the stairs.

"All ready" she said cheerfully "Is Kenny and Tyson ready too? We're leaving soon".

I and Ray traded a glance with a hidden smile which she noticed and got a light pink color on her cheeks.

"I'm pretty sure they are" I replied "So is Max"

"That's good, how is he doing? He was sleeping the morning I saw him"

"He woke up, he's better I think"

She sighed relieved "Good…"

Poor Hillary had got the scare of her life when Max had got lost, and while we were away she wasn't taking her eyes from him.

"We'll meet downstairs in half an hour right?" Ray asked.

The girl nodded with a smile.

"I'll make sure Tyson is in time" the neko-jii said with a smirk, I couldn't help but chuckle a bit myself but I covered it looking the other way.

Hiromi blushed again and looked away pulling on her skirt "Yes do so. Or else the irresponsible idiot will forget and we'll end up reaching home tomorrow"

"Irresponsible idiot? What are you saying about me this time?" said Tyson appearing behind her.

Ray and I both struggled to not laugh as she yelped in surprise and almost fell down the stairs.

"Don't sneak up on me you idiot!" She yelled supporting all her weight on the railing.

Tyson blinked smiling innocently "Do you have everything ready, Hilary? I wouldn't like us to end at home tomorrow thanks to you" he mocked her with a smirk.

The girl growled and raised to her feet, she turned and glared at him.

"2000 yen to Hilary, he's hopeless" Ray told me.

"Goes" I replied with a smirk.

In fact Tyson ended up with a punch flying toward him, he left a yelp and caught her hand with both of his midway "Come on Hilary! I was joking! After all a delicate lady shouldn't use violence" he kissed her hand and gave her one of the wide silly grins before running off.

Hilary's face had the same color with her bright pink skirt and she had frozen in her place. Once she managed to snap out of it she clutched her fists and started chasing Tyson, yelling various cusses on him frustrated.

I smirked once more and looked at Ray raising my eyebrow. He growled and looked at me annoyed.

"I don't hold at the moment, I own you…"

I patted his back "Don't worry about it"

We finally walked up the stairs and to our rooms, ignoring Tyson and Hilary who were still running in the corridor, we walked to our rooms. Max looked at me his huge eyeballs surprised.

"What's going on out there?" he asked hugging his sack.

"Nothing unusual" I replied, and we heard a loud thumb. Max's eyes widen more and he stuck them on the door and then turned them to me questioningly.

I sighed "I think I just lost 2000 yen…"

* * *

I watched the kid as we made our way downstairs to meet the others. Just a while ago Kenny had informed us they are going down to fix some things for the hotel and we were to meet them and go to the bus. He had taken the pill and seemed alright for now.

He noticed my stare and smiled kindly for me to not worry and show me he was alright. I relaxed a bit…

The others turned to us the moment we stepped in the living room. I figured most of them didn't have a good look of Max since we got here. I glanced at him once more trying to figure if he looked better or worst from the moment we came here. But since I was seeing him every day, I couldn't make much of a different.

"Hey buddy…" Tyson said softly at him. The blond kept his sweet smile and greeted everyone. He seemed pretty relaxed, but I knew he was stressed about our return, but he should be happy to be around his friends altogether once more.

"What happened to your head, Tyson?"

"Ahaha…" Tyson sweat-dropped and Hilary smirked victoriously.

I stepped aside to give them some space to see each other for a while, they all seemed pretty glad to have him around as well, I heard Hilary ask him how is he feeling, and another two worried questions, but the kid simply kept the smile and honestly replied he felt alright.

Ray looked at me and gave me a soft grin. We both lifted the bags (ours, Kenny's and Max's. Tyson carried his and Hillary's) and carried them to the bus; the others followed slowly, all staying close to Max chit-chatting. I hoped they wouldn't tire him, but he seemed happy and it was enough reassurance for me. I hadn't seen him like this in a while.

One by one they started getting on the bus. Max stayed in the door watching me and Ray tidying the stuff. Once we were done and I noticed he hadn't gone up, I walked to him.

"All ok? You need something?" I asked quietly.

He nodded with a smile "No, I just want to tell something to Ray"

I glanced at Ray who was saying his goodbyes with the hotel's staff and then back at Max.

"Alright" I said and walked inside the bus just when Ray followed. Max cached his shirt to stop him and get his attention.

"Mhm?" Ray stepped back down and looked at him "What is it, Max?" he asked gently.

Max joined his own hand behind his back looking down frowning "I wanted to apologize for the way I talked to you the other day" he murmured.

Ray chuckled and smiled having his fangs showing "It's alright. I want to apologize too, I was a bit too harsh on you" he furrowed his eyebrows still smiling.

"I think you might were right… I'm sorry" Max apologized once more turning his eyes to the older male, with his head still bowed.

"I think you were partly right too" the neko-jii noted with a pretty embarrassed smile and gained one bright grin from the blond.

"Then we're even" said the kid and they both laughed lightly. Ray reached and ruffled Max's hair which didn't gain any negative reaction from the younger.

_Seems like he has problem only with me…_

"Come on guys!" called Tyson who was sitting behind the driver, having kept the seat open for Max.

I snapped out of my thoughts too, and made my way too my own seat at the back, taking my usual cross-armed pose I watched the scenery out of the window. The other two walked inside right after Tyson called and got their seats.

I wasn't sure how good idea was to have Max sit with Tyson, at first the second was like usual energetic around his friend, but as the trip went on and Max seemed to get tired; the other let him rest and didn't bother him. He simply started chatting with Kenny who was sitting behind him, quietly enough to let the kid sleep.

Hillary sat with Ray and they started talking about the Chinese culture.

Generally the return trip seemed to me a lot calmer than the one that brought us there. It was difficult to believe that only two weeks had gone by, so many things happened…

I raised my gaze and looked to where the kid was sitting. I couldn't see his face from where I was sitting, but he seemed to be calm and peaceful. I sat back to my seat and leaned my head on the glass facing the softly white colored scenery from the thin line of snow that still excised. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to calm.

_Today is going to be a long day…_

The sky was dark by the time the bus stopped; the lamps on the road were lighted on and there was more snow here than where we used to be, but I guessed it would melt soon too.

My teammates started standing up and walked to get their stuff.

I stood and followed to get my own bag, but when I was close to the exit I felt a tug on my shirt. I had started getting unused to that, but it still didn't surprise me, I looked at Max who was the last one in the bus along with me.

He frowned and drew back his hand. I figured he did it out of habit anymore without thinking it, he looked down but I stayed in my place.

"Tell me" I said.

"The other half" me murmured shivering. I nodded.

"Right" I said and brought the other half of the pill I had been keeping in my pocket "You have water?"

He nodded and moved tiredly to get the bottle from aside. I gave him the pill and rested my elbow on the seat's back watching him as he swallowed it.

"Can you walk until it works?"

"I'll manage" he said and dragged himself to the corner of the seat.

"You want help?"

He shook his head and stood up unsteadily.

"You could use some time to let it work" I complained sighing.

"The others are waiting outside" he murmured and tripped only to end up supported where he least wanted. On me.

I caught him without any sort of surprised. It was only expected for him to fall. Before I give him the time to protest and all I sat him back to his seat. The moment he sat, he pressed his back to the seat enough to make me believe if he did it any harder he would sink in it and curled his knees up looking away pouting like a kid that was getting scolded.

Ray walked back in and looked at us "All ok?" he asked concerned.

"Yes, we'll come in a moment. Max is feeling a bit weak. Go ahead, we'll catch up in a moment" I told him, sitting sideway at the seat opposite Max's.

Ray nodded and walked back outside.

I turned to Max who was still curled up. He didn't act like this back at the hotel, I suppose he got embarrassed because he fell on me, but it's not like it was the first time…

"Well, since we need to wait for a while, I'll tell you how to use the pills" I said which caught his attention. Soon he had uncurled and shifted closer so I could show him the bottle with the pills and explain him the dosages. By the time I was done, the pill he had taken seemed to have been taking effect.

I gave him the bottle, he thanked me with a smile and we both walked out, finding that the others were still there. Kenny was hidden behind Hillary shaking, crouched down, the said girl had her arms crossed annoyed and the remained two boys were having a snowball war.

"Ah, Max, feeling be- AH! RAY!" yelled Tyson shaking some snow out of his hair and ear, result of a snowball he received when he turned to greet Max.

Ray chuckled "You shouldn't get distracted in a war. If this was a bomb you would be dead!"

I heard a soft laughter to my side and turned to see my blond teammate having his hand in front of his mouth trying to hold in the laughter, which soon came out louder.

I calmed… So did the rest of the team. They all watched him with a soft smile.

"Yes, Tyson, I'm feeling better, thank you" he replied to his friend's interrupted question once his laughter was slowing down.

Then it was Tyson's laughter's turn to be heard "Great, let's go home"

Everyone agreed and we started our short walk toward the dojo.

We soon were standing out of the dojo's gate. We walked through the garden and stopped out of the door.

"Maybe you would want to duck" said Tyson glancing back at us. I didn't need to since I had stayed at the back knowing what was going to happen when the door opened. The rest traded some glances and made a couple of steps back.

The boy sighed and rolled the door to the side open.

"WHOA!" yelled Tyson's grandfather and came flying front, swinging a wooden sword toward his grandson, which he only dodged, and the old man ended up with the face in the snow. He stood up quickly laughing with his hand behind his head "I guess you saw this coming!"

Everyone replied "Yes" with one voice.

Ryuu sighed "Next time I'll attack from the back"

"A real man never attacks from the back, grandpa" smirked Tyson, which gained a satisfied grin from the older man.

"Rightly spoken, T-Bone" he said and looked at the rest of us "Welcome back hommies" he said and jumped back inside to welcome us properly. He watched us with a smile as each of us made his way inside; afterward he closed the door, keeping the chilly weather outside. There were blankets waiting for us. Max sat on his own, setting his bag next to it and Tyson along with Kenny claimed the ones beside him, while Ray dragged his own so would sleep horizontally over the head of the other three, leaving me the last one next to Kenny. There was one more divided from the rest for Hilary, since she was the only girl. Until they were to sleep, one of the boys had her sitting to his own blanket.

I watched them sitting to a side of the room with my arms and legs crossed. This image seemed correct, more like what it used to be. All together sitting, chatting and having fun. This was how it was supposed to be. I rested my eyes on Max who was currently teasing Kenny with Tyson. I closed my eyes and leaned my head front listening to them laughing…

_If only it could remain so…_

"Had a difficult time back there, Kai-man?"

I mentally sighed and looked at the older man sideway. One thing that has been always bothering me with him was that he knew way too much, and talked way too little. I turned to him but he wasn't looking at me. He had rested his hands on the end of his kendo sword standing straight, watching the happy company.

"Hn…" I turned to them as well.

He smiled glancing at me and turned his eyes back to them "I thought so…"

The door opened and walked in a light bluenette, holding a tray with puffing cups, he smiled.

"Hey guys, who wants hot Chocó?" he asked, and Tyson yelped noticing him.

"Hiro!" he exclaimed "What are you doing here? When did you come?"

The older boy laughed as he set the tray in the middle of the circle they had made and took a seat on his own next to Ray.

"Yesterday, I hoped to give you a nice surprise once you're back" he smiled at his younger brother and ruffled his hair. Tyson was obviously excited, and the older sibling became the center of the attention telling stuff about his travels and everything.

Ray looked at me "Kai, don't you want to sit with us?" he asked.

I just stared at him blankly.

"Ehehe… Ok, I just asked" he turned front again with an awkward smile.

"Not much have changed here, huh?" said Hiro raising an eyebrow toward me.

There was no reply though; everyone preferred to get a sip from their cups, turning their attention everywhere else possible. Ryuu chuckled and gained a slight glare from me, while the younger Granger looked at the rest curiously.

"How is Tatsuya-san doing?" Max asked to get the conversation running again, with the cup in front of his lips.

"My dad? He's fine" this way they started talking again and it went like this until late. Slowly they started getting to their sleeping bags. Hiro left the room or else Tyson wouldn't have got to his own bag to sleep. Ryuu as well had followed his older grandson, which left the room with only me out of the 'bed'. But in fact the only people in the room sleeping were Hilary and Max…

My eyes traveled to them one after the other. Tyson had a serious look, with his eyes stuck on his blond friend, who was curled next to him and fast asleep. Ray's amber eyes were wide open as well, and they were watching me. Kenny was laid with his back facing Max's and Dizzy set to his side like always, he had pulled the blanket in a way that only his hair bangs appeared, as well as his eyes which were hidden under them, but I knew he too was awake.

The lights in the room were out. But that was no problem; my eyes had long adjusted, and in addition the snow outside reflected enough light from the streetlights to not leave the room completely dark.

I sighed and stood up. Three pairs of eyes followed my movement.

"Sleep" I ordered quietly.

They all took their eyes off me. I knew it. I knew as well what their new view was.

I turned and took a view of the kid's little frame on my own. He was soundly asleep.

_I hope you're having sweet dreams…_

I rolled the door to the side without a sound and stepped outside; closing it without taking any last glance at the people inside.

I heard a soft chuckle to my side and turned to find Ryuu sitting cross-legged on the wooden balcony with his kendo sword in his lap, watching the sky smiling. I looked the other way and he chuckled gently again.

"I'm pretty sure he won't hold it against you…" he whispered.

_See what I mean when I say he knows way too much? _

I shook my head and stepped to the garden.

"Good luck" he called, and damn I knew he was smiling. I stopped in place and met Hiro's gaze watching me from the house's window with his arms crossed, and a blank stare on his face. After a while he turned and left from view. I sighed silently leaving a puff in the cold air.

Without another word I crossed the garden and walked through the gate to the silent street.

**To be continued~**

* * *

Kai: *emocorners*

Max: *pats his back* ^^; come come...

Tyson: *laughs* get a hold of yourself for the readers buddy

Kai: screw you all.

Hiro: why is my appearance so sort and I feel I was thrown in without a certain reason..

Ray: she just threw you in without a certain reason thats why you feel so.

Hilary: *coughs* Well, ignore those things. And please review.

Ryuu: Hommies! Review I say Review!

Dizzy: I am mute in all the chapters...

Kenny: Please review... *bows deeply*

* * *

Note: 2000 yen is around 16 euro I think.

**Also Thanks to:** Nicole13-1991, SongOfTheShadows, Inyoface (I adore this girl), Dark Bia, Aly-K-H , Raine1712 (MY GIRL!), animewolfgurl for reviewing to my last chapter. And all the others who read my story! Thank you so much! I'm so grateful!

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_Natural life__ (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	11. Chapter 11: Here We Are

I AM SO SORRY! ;A; It's been... How long? Two months? Two? DAMN! I wanted this chapter to be published on the anniversary of one year if this fic, but that passed long ago TwT Ha! Can you believe it? One year! 0w0I've been writting this for one year and it goes on. I am sorry it took so long TwT Ah, many things are going one here and there, and my girlfriend is very agressive XD she wants my attention and its normal .w. Love you love. Ah, now about the chapter... I think the characters are a bit out of character... Are they? And In this chapter I also did something I hate to see in other fanfics, and feared like hell to do T_T You'll understant what Ima talking. The second thing I fear is pretty far yet to appear. Well please enjoy alright? Cope with my style and if u notice something off about my writting now and the last time please tell me... Ah *worry worry* Love u my readers... please review I'm desperate...

Review and make me happy PLEASE! I'll update sooner if u encourage me! And thank to everyone who read this story ;w; I place much heart into it and it makes me happy every little review/allert/fave w Thanks~

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. **

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter eleven  
**

**Here we are  
**

_If life had a restart button everything would be much easier. You would be able to correct your wrong actions and try for a better result. _

**Max's POV**

_I can't breathe…_

_I gasp out, but the air just refuses to return to my lugs, everything is fading out. I try to roll to the sides in an attempt to get the chance to breath but the pressure around my neck tightens more. I'm falling…_

_I let out a helpless sound._

_Suddenly I hear sounds and somebody calling my name, and the pressure from my neck vanishes. I take a painful deep breath. The voice continues to talk but it's far. I can't make out what it's saying… _

_What is going on…?_

_"…ax…"_

"Max!"

My eyes snapped open with a gasp, facing the ceiling and Hillary leaned above me frowned. I took some shaky breaths facing her with wide eyes.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing. I sat up, stopping midway, as my elbow tugged down the sheet that was wrapped around my neck loosely tightening it, catching me by surprise, I coughed. Hilary yelped and hurried to help me.

"Watch it! I just managed to loosen that, you were twirling in your sleep and had managed to get it wrapped around your neck!"

I sighed when it was finally off me, sat up normally and mumbled tiredly a 'thanks' rubbing my face in my hands.

_My head hurts…_

Hillary reached and stroked my hair soothingly, which indeed managed to relax me.

"Bad dream?" she asked.

I turned my face up to her, starting to actually getting conscious of the fact that I was awake. I reconsidered the dream and nodded in her reply.

_I suppose it was her that I heard calling…_

I took a view to my surroundings. I had rolled off my blanket while I was asleep, and was now sitting on the wooden floor of the dojo. The sun was up, and no one else except of me and Hillary were in the room.

"Where are the others?"

"Ah, they're training outside. You are lucky to be sick, Kai said to spare you, he also said you to take this when you are up. Wait" she replied and ran out of the room, returning with a tray with a toast, a glass of water and a pill at the side. I eyed it as she set it in front of me, and gave her a smile thanking her once more.

She grinned gently crouching in front of me.

"Don't mention it. Just get well soon"

I gave her another tired smile and watched as she walked out of the room. I took the pill and ate the toast before I get up and change.

After I made sure I looked presentable and the pill had taken effect, I walked to the door and rolled it to the side, stepping on the veranda. The snow had almost completely melted, and to my surprise my teammates weren't training. At least not anymore.

Tyson was sitting to a side with Hiro, reading some comic books. Ray was eating some onigiri that he sure had made himself earlier, while Kenny and Kai were sitting just in front of the door I had opened moments ago, modifying Kai's Dranzer.

"Max! Good morning!" said Chief looking at me upside down, dropping his head back to face me, causing his bangs and glasses to slip back, giving me a short glimpse of his green eyes.

I gave him a sweet smile "Morning, Chief, Kai" I turned my eyes to the older who just looked at me sideway over his shoulder and nodded as a greeting.

"Hello! I'm here too you know. Here, just in front of you. Analyzing stuff, doing all the hard work…"

I chuckled "Good morning to you too, Dizzy".

"Hey, Max! How are you feeling today?" asked Tyson from across the wooden floor, giving me one of his wide grins.

"Good, good" I replied and walked outside with them, closing the door behind me.

"Mhh!" I looked at Ray who motioned me to sit with him, with full mouth. I stepped close and he offered me one of his rice balls. I smiled and sat to his side, taking and eating what he gave me.

I raised my eyes to Kai. He was staring at Dizzy's screen as Kenny talked to him and started rebuilding Dranzer. For some reason it made me kind of upset, he hadn't looked at me much today… I guess I had got too used to have his attention. I should forget it now that we were back…

While I though this, his crimson eyes met mine fully with a curious look. Usually he looked at me like this back at the hotel when he wanted to ask if I needed something or if I was alright. I nodded reassuringly and turned away.

"I'm off" Kenny closed Dizzy's lid and handed Kai his beyblade.

"Leaving already?" asked Hiro.

"It's almost lunch time, I promised my parents I'll be back by noon. I'm already late" he answered and put on his shoes "Hila-"

Tyson coughed loud.

"Oh" Kenny laughed awkwardly "You'll walk her, alright" the rest of us chuckled tactfully.

"Well, see you guys" he said and rushed out of the garden, waving back to us.

Hiro smirked at Tyson and started teasing him in low voice; the two of them stayed laughing with each other for quite a while, until Hillary came out ready to go and Tyson eagerly volunteered to walk her home.

I pouted remembering that I should get going too.

"Max" I looked up seeing Kai standing over me "I'll go home as well. Since you aren't well yet want me to walk you?" he asked softly. I took the moment to look at him more carefully. He seemed pretty tired…

"Alright" I got to my legs.

"Oh come on, you're all going and I'll stay here alone?" Ray complained pouting.

"You're not alone, grandpa and Hiro are here. We're leaving you with good company, lucky you!" I shot him a teasing smile and he pulled a face, before smirking.

Kai rolled his eyes and gave me my bag, I nodded and we walked out of the garden along with Hilary and Tyson.

Midway we separated from them and made our way to my house.

I stopped out of my doorstep with Kai, and looked up at the building. It felt like it had been months since I was here last time, but it had only been two weeks. Now that I was actually back to my house things were starting to feel too real. I realized I was going back to what it used to me. That I wouldn't see Kai as much as before, and that I would also have to take care on covering for myself. My stomach turned upside down.

"Max?"

I looked at the bluenette, who seemed concerned. I realized I had frowned while looking at my house.

"Ah…" I smiled at him "Well… Thanks for everything"

He dropped his gaze to the ground and nodded slowly "You're welcome" it was my turn to look concerned. Something felt off…

"Is everything alright?" I dared to phrase my question.

He turned his eyes to me again and nodded.

"Everything is fine…"

_…_

"Wait a moment" I said and crouched down to open and look through my bag. Kai blinked watching me clueless. Soon after I stood up and raised a coin size silver pendant with a turtle carved on it, hanging from thin black rope "With… the condition I was in I couldn't go buy you anything, so it's something of mine…"

Kai watched the little jewel with an expression I couldn't read and looked at me "I… Can't take it, it's yours" he looked at me frowning honestly. It's rare to see him dropping his defenses like this…

"It's just a tiny thanks for all the things you did for me… I know it's not your style, but I would like you to have it, it's my favorite…" I said blushing lightly. He eyed me and I could say that he was clearly shoved out of his waters. He slowly took it from me and held it examining it.

"… Thanks"

I smiled widely hoping my cheeks weren't too red.

"Well…" I started, but was cut by my dad's voice.

"Max?" I turned around seeing him walking home.

"Dad!" I said happily and ran to hug him. He hugged me back tight.

"Welcome back" he said softly, stroking my hair and turned his attention to me.

"I'm home" I smiled up at him and we both turned to Kai. He nodded fast.

"Well, see you, Max" he said pretty tiredly. I motioned yes with a wide smile and jumped to pick my bag. Behind my back my father and captain locked eyes, until I rise again.

"See you, Kai" I replied finally "Take care" he gave a final nod and turned around after shooting a fast glance toward my dad who returned it.

"Come on, Max, let's go in"

"Hai!"

I picked my bag and walked in the house "Be right back" I rushed to my room to leave my bag and returned down to find my dad serving lunch already. I took my seat fast watching him; he glanced at me and went back to serving.

"How was your time?" he asked.

For some reason the feeling I had got earlier when Kai didn't look at me while talked returned. It was like something really heavy had come and landed on my stomach.

"It was alright… Is everything alright, dad?"

He glanced at me again but quickly turned his attention back to the food "Yes all ok… Just bad day at the shop" he took his seat opposite me and finally gave me his full attention. I felt a bit lighter.

"Why, what happened?" I started eating, and twitched at the feeling of his eyes scanning me from top to bottom, as if he was looking for something. I paused my fork through the spaghetti and stared at him.

"… Dad?"

He shook his head snapping back to reality.

"A couple of kids" he said seeming to go back to his usual self "You won't believe their tongue" he pulled a face and I giggled relaxing. From his expression I could read he relaxed a bit too.

We finished our lunch, chatting lively. My father served a desert I adored, he said he had bought it for my return; I thanked him and started devouring it, but was cut by the doorbell.

"Can you take it?" my dad asked, cleaning the table. I jumped up and rushed to the door, opening it I came face to face with a familiar, beautiful woman with blue eyes and blond hair. My eyes widen and so did hers, who seemed rather surprised to see me.

"Max?" she let out surprised.

"Mom!" I glommed her wrapping my arms around her happily.

"Max! Hello my baby" she chuckled and wrapped her arms around me lovingly and placed a kiss in my hair. She held me close. Behind me my father walked to the corridor in the way to the exit. The one holding me looked at him with a questioning look, while the other watched her seriously.

I missed their exchange of looks like the one Kai and my dad had earlier… If I had noticed I might have been prepared for what was coming…

**Kai's POV**

I walked all the way to the end of the town to my mansion. It was approaching afternoon when I had reached there. One of the servants opened the gate welcoming me with a formal greeting and a deep bow. I nodded and walked through the garden.

Midway a big German shepherd ran straight to me barking and wagging his tail. I smiled soft and paused letting my bag on the ground to ruffle through his fur.

"Hey, Cassius. How are you, boy?" he barked even louder looking up at me, and started chasing his tail and stopping in the middle to look at me again happily, before he jump up on me again. I laughed soft catching his big front paws and holding him on his back feet. His tongue hanged to the side as he panted happily from the greeting he gave me. Naturally such dogs are for guards, he is friendly only toward his owners. But mostly toward me.

I let go of his paws and he landed on his feet, eyes stuck on me waiting for me to play with him. I picked up my bag "I'll play with you later" I pet his head once more and he let a complaining sound as I left to go inside the house, but soon recovered and ran off to chase squirrels.

The first thing that caught my attention when I entered the house was the loud music coming from upstairs. This meant only one thing.

Grandfather wasn't home.

One of the maids crossed the hallway holding a basket with clothes but stopped when she noticed me and gasped lightly.

"Young master! Welcome back!" she exclaimed and bows causing the clothes fall from the pile they were on, and her to shriek.

I rolled my eyes and set my bag down once again, and helped her pile them up again "My grandfather isn't here huh?" I asked and shot a glance on the elegant stairway that led on the inside balcony of the next floor.

She sweat roped letting an embarrassed sound "No, he won't come today, Master Kai"

I stood up and so did she holding the basket up once again, her full attention on me.

"When did he leave?"

"This morning, young Master. He told us to expect you. Are you hungry? Shall I inform to serve you?"

I shook my head and pointed the next floor "Has he put music so loud ever since?"

She chuckled awkwardly and nodded. I sighed.

"Alright, return to your job"

"Hai!" she made an attempt to bow again, but in the last minute refrained from doing so and rushed off.

I looked back to the upper floor balcony "Rafael!" I called.

The music's volume lowered slightly, and the one I called rushed to the balcony to face me.

"Nicky! Welcome back!" he yelled in English with a wide grin and slipped down the railing of the stairs to land in front of me.

Rafael had the same height and about the same age as me. He had brown eyes, and silver shoulder height straight hair. Other mentionable features were the grey wolf ears that decorated the sides of his head, and the furry tail in same color as the ears which swung to the sides hyper (don't ask how he got those. He never answers seriously). He wore a bleached pair of jeans and red all-stars, along with a simple black t-shirt that wrote on the front "Anne Rice will hunt you, Stephanie" (he's obsessed twillight hater, personally I don't mind it, if people like it, it's their right). I skipped the sight. It was perfectly natural for me, since he's my brother.

"Good to be back" I replied shifting language from Japanese to English.

Well, not exactly my brother. We aren't blood related; my father is married to his mother.

"You know, a little tactfulness would do. Why so loud?" I asked raising my eyebrow. He pouted.

"Don't start, you just came. And after all, it's not like there are neighbors to be bothered by the sound. Michael Jackson is religion; you need to hear it wherever you are"

"Whatever. Just low the volume a bit, alright?"

He shrugged "How was your trip?"

I did the same movement, indifferently "Nothing special"

He narrowed his eyes and leaned his face close to mine raising eyebrow "Aha… Ok" he straightened up again "No news good news is what Americans say" he pulled a little block out of his back pocket "Shall I start?"

I gave a deep sigh "I haven't even let my bag in my room…"

"Suki!" he yelled and another young maid rushed to our side.

"Hai, Rafael-san?" she said. My step brother grabbed my bag before I have the time to say anything and gave the bag to Suki along with a charming smile which revealed fangs similar to those of White Tigers "Please bring this to Young Master's room".

The maid replied positively with a shy smile and flushed cheeks and moved away quickly.

"There, now your bag is in your room" he said giving me a smirk.

"Get it over with…" I said with a bored expression.

"Of course, Squidward" he looked through his notes.

My grandfather is from my mother's side. So, as you realize, Rafael is to him actually, the child of the second woman of his daughter's man. Confusing huh?

Well, let me analyze it to you.

My mother, Marlene Hiwatari, is Voltaire's daughter and she is married with Susumu Inoue, but she kept her family name. My father, Richard Hiwatari, is my mother's second… or… Third cousin I think, and is married (not remarried, he was never married to my mother) to Heather Medley. That's Rafael's mother.

Now, if you figured this all, you should understand that said brother is an outsider here, but my grandfather allowed him to stay after my request, as my butler or… Something like that. Rafael informs me for the things that take place while I'm away, fixes my schedule sometimes and does my chores. So he is actually working here, or at least pretends to. When my grandfather is around, he wears suit, or something more formal, when he isn't he is like this.

"Well, I'm starting" he said, cleaning his throat "Your mother called the past week, she's doing a photo shooting at Milano, she sends her love. Susumu is on a business meeting in Korea, he'll return tomorrow, Voltaire sent him, he wanted to be sure he wouldn't be here when you return. Several invitations concerning you along with Mr. Crab (he means my grandfather with that) have arrived, I will give you the full list later to look through it, and talk with him about which ones you will attend. If you want my advice, ask for payback for each one you will agree to attend"

"I always do anymore… Isn't there anything in there that I care about?" I asked watching him tiredly.

"Yes, of course. I'm almost there" he cleaned his throat again and changed page "I received your blood results, everything seems fine, but you will have to increase the vitamins you received, I have already taken care of this, I have informed the cook and your meals will cover for this. You have an appointment with your optician this week on Wednesday to check how you are going"

"Ugh…"

"Don't leave disturbing sounds, I'm not done yet" he shot me a pouty glare, moving back his ears and went back to reading "Well, where was I… Ah, right. There is something that will lift your mood" he smiled, reading through what he had written "Heather and Richie went for the ultrasound of the month, seems like you'll get what you wanted"

I shot an honest smile, eyes lighting up "Girl?" I asked hopefully.

"Girl" he replied grinning at me.

I sighed smiling and rubbed my temple "Finally some good news… How long is she now?"

"She closed her sixth month. Mom sent you the ultrasound on your e-mail, but I'm not done yet, wait"

I pouted, impatiently now, tapping my foot.

"All the books you have ordered have arrived; I have left them on your desk. Your girlfriend is also in your room, she ate, cleaned herself and now she must be sleeping"

"Good, I have missed her. Are you done yet?" now I had to check my books too, except of the ultrasound of my upcoming little sister.

"Hm… Almost, there's one last thing" he looked at me and smirked, after he walked in the library and back out holding a folder. I eyed it curiously, and recognized the stamp out of it.

"It's here...? Give it" I ordered and extended my hand.

He held it behind his back glaring at me playfully "No, you need to give me something in return. I was looking forward for it almost as much as you did, and yet I didn't open it, so you would do it!"

"Well, you can have the psp for a month" I replied getting more impatient.

He chuckled and handed me the folder, rushing to my side so he could read when I opened and took out the letter.

A couple of months ago I had given exams through internet to enter an art colleague in England, and after the exams, I had to do a couple of projects and send them or photos of them to the colleague. After that I have been waiting for their approval or denial letter. If it was a positive answer, with the start of the next year I would be studying there.

I unfolded the paper and started reading through it, and Rafael read along.

"FUCK YEAH!" he yelled as he reached the part that said I was accepted. I had already read this part, and cracked a smile. My brother jumped around the room with his hands in the air cheering "We need to throw a party or something! Don't you think, Kai?" he yelled and turned to me excited, but frowned seeing me "Kai?" he walked close concerned.

I looked up at him, and smiled soft "Yeah, it's great" I replied tiredly.

The ookami's ears flatted on his head frowning even more "What's that…? Come on, you wanted this! Be happy if not excited, you achieved your goal!"

Actually I was happy; really, I had some really good news just when I stepped in the house, but since the previous night the guilt gave me only glimpses of calmness. I wondered how things were going at Max's house at the moment…

I shook my head rubbing my forehead "I am… I really am happy. I'm just a bit tired"

The other one made a face that said he didn't believe me, but let it pass.

"Ok, go get some rest alright?" he gave me a sweet smile "Are you hungry?"

I shook my head "No, is there anything sweet?"

"Yes, the other day we had visitors and served a cake, half is gone, but there is still plenty. Want me to bring you a piece?"

"Yes, cut a piece and leave it in the fridge. Bring me the rest" I replied and moved to the stairs.

Rafael flinched watching me "This bad…? Ok, I'll be right there" he ran off and I reached the door that led to my room.

Opening it, I met the familiar spacious place where I spent a lot of my time. Opposite the door was the wide window that viewed the back garden, and the faraway town, under it were my two desks. One was covered with drawing supplies and papers with finished and unfinished sketches I had been working on before I go, neatly pilled, while the other was clean, with only a lamb and my laptop on it, as well as a little tower of brand new books. The left wall occupied the door of the closet and a bookshelf where I kept my favorite books, as well as the ones that I hadn't read yet. The rest of my books, were in the library my grandfather had provided me with downstairs. It used to be his office, but he changed room and turned that one to a library for my favorite entertainment. On the right side laid my double sized bed, with a bedside table on each side of it. Above it, hanged a painting of the outer space, I had drawn the past year. In a free side of the wall there were several more paintings and my easel folded rested against the wall as well. Next to my two desks was also laid a basket with a red pillow in it, and two bowls with water and food.

I walked to my desk and took off my scarf, hanging it on the chair before sitting. I opened the lid of my laptop and waited for it to start, when I heard a loud purring and the clingy sound of a bell and felt something stroking on my legs before jumping on my lap.

This was my girlfriend. Her name was Elektra; I was reading a Greek book when I named her. Her fur was black and white, and her eyes shiny green, with a red collar from which hung a gold bell. I smiled and stroked her fur, with the rush to see the ultrasound I forgot to greet her.

"Hello, beautiful" I said, she purred even louder stroking her face on my hand, and bit my finger soft to complain for my absence. The reason Rafael had named her my 'girlfriend' is because she sleeps in my bed, and generally while I'm in the house we rarely separate. More like Siamese than couple I would say.

"I'm sorry… Did you miss me?" I smiled soft and she licked the finger she had bit just a moment ago.

"Yeah, I missed you too…" I kissed her head and she purred if possible even louder, and curled royally in my lap. A real queen needs her throne you know. I turned my attention to my laptop, and opened my hotmail, stroking with my free hand Elektra's fur.

Being back to my room alone, was a big distraction from what I had done, I tried to keep myself occupied and relax. I had done what I had. There was no going back, and what I had done I felt was the right thing. Now, I should watch a bit my own life too, It had been a while since I last did that. Naturally, with so many new books I would have thrown myself at reading automatically, but I found more interest elsewhere at the moment.

I looked through my mails for those I had received from Heather. Talking about her, have you ever heard of evil step mothers? Well, she is exactly the opposite. She's a real angel.

I found the certain mail which had as theme title 'Look what's coming in a few months!' and downloaded the recommended file.

I clicked it open and sat back, biting my thumb nail as the video started playing. Well, I had seen ultrasound of a baby before, but this felt completely different. I can honestly say I was completely taken aback to the sight of the little baby curled up, doing only little movements. The ultrasound had 3d part too, with the new means allowed to get a better look on the actual features of the developing little human. It was the first time I saw my little sister moving; I had only got a few pictures from the previous visits to the doctor, and had visited Heather and Richie only once at their house in South Pasadena since Heather got pregnant, and it was early.

I stayed still watching the video in repeat for quite a while, and honestly it calmed my nerves… I looked through it for a good view, took a snapshot and placed it for wallpaper. Afterward I took the new books and started looking through them; in the meantime Elektra had fallen asleep on my knees.

"London's bridge is falling down. Falling down, falling down. London's bridge is falling down, my fair lady" the door opened and I saw Rafael, dressed in semi formal clothes, holding a silver tray with a neatly served cake "Built it up with bricks and stones, bricks and stones, bricks and stones. Built it up with brings and stones, my fair lady" I watched him over my shoulder as he walked and set the stuff from the tray on my desk singing.

"Should I be offended?" I chuckled teasing him.

"It's the lyrics of the song, it can't be helped" he smiled cheerfully "Oh, you placed her as wallpaper" he said looking at my screen with a smile.

I nodded starting to eat from the cake.

"You are going to develop a serious sister complex" he smirked at me.

I gave my own smirk in return "Won't you?"

"Of course I will! Any bastard that will ever dare to hurt her… I'll skin him" He huffed.

"This won't be kid. It'll be V.I.P with bodyguards" I joked.

"Hn" Rafael smiled taking a full view of me "You seem better" he said.

I nodded "I feel a bit better, thanks".

"Wanna talk?"

I shook my head "Don't worry. Everything's fine"

He sighed deep "Is there anything else you need?"

"A relaxing bath" I replied.

"I'll get it ready" he turned and walked to the door, but as expected stopped and looked at me "By the way"

I turned my chair around halfway to look at him. He pointed at his own neck "Is that new?"

I glanced down at the pendant that Max gave me, and was now hanging from my neck. I nodded and looked at him, feeling the guilt and concern return.

He simply grinned gently once more.

"I'll call you when it's ready" with that he exited the room. I heard him singing again out of the door "Take the key and lock her up, lock her up, lock her up. Take the key and lock her up, my fair lady…"

* * *

I relaxed in the foam of the luxurious bathtub, laying my head back. It's nice to have such things now and then, usually I don't play it Cleopatra, but god knows I needed some peace. Elektra was curled in the sink in front of the mirror, taking yet another nap.

I looked at the pendant hanging from the handle of one of the cupboards on each side of the mirror. I had taken it off not wanting to wet it.

_I am trying to relax, yet it's like I'm stuck with it…_

I sighed laying my head back tiredly and slowly slipped in the water fully.

_Max…_

After a good full hour in the bathtub I got out, and dried myself. I dried my hair with the towel and tied it back. When I was walking in the house, I didn't bother to fix them otherwise, and they were more comfortable like this anyway, but my bangs were short and stayed in front of my face, since they couldn't be tied.

I got into the clean outfit Rafael had prepared for me and lifted Elektra out of the sink walking out of the bathroom I let her on the floor and she returned to my room with her tail in the air.

It was already dark outside; the lights on the hall were turned off since the staffs were all in their works or had finished their daily jobs. I walked in the kitchen and made myself a warm chocolate.

_In the end I'll do yoga in case to calm… And my headache is getting worst…_

I rolled my eyes taking a sip of my warm drink.

"Ah, you're back" I clenched my palm around the cup and turned to the door without lowering it from my lips. Susumu was leaned against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. He wasn't much taller than me, half head or so, with grey eyes and black hair.

"Do I have to apologize for this?" I asked calmly leaning against the kitchen counter, eyeing him calmly.

"As cocky as ever" he spat annoyed.

"I merely asked" I replied without racing my voice "Weren't you going to return tomorrow?"

"That's not your business"

I shrugged "If you say so" I pushed myself straight and walks passed the door ignoring him, but as expected he wouldn't have it. He placed his hands on both sides of the door blocking the way and glared at me.

"May I pass?" I asked emotionlessly.

_Bad time to forget to bring a book along. When you most need to keep yourself busy…_

"Where's Voltaire?" he asked.

I smirked sadistically "Still afraid of him, aren't we?"

He growled, stepped front and grabbed my collar.

"You lose no chance to get on my nerves do you?" he hissed.

"You know, you'll make me spill my drink" I said simply without raising my voice in the slightest.

He just growled and narrowed his eyes. With a movement he spun us around and stuck me against the wall, making me drop the cup and breaking it.

I growled lowly too and glared at him slightly "I hadn't finished that… After all getting on your nerves is pretty easy"

He brought his face closed to mine; I turned my gaze elsewhere keeping calm.

"Look kid… I had a really bad day… Do not push me" he whispered threatening.

_I'm really tired to deal with you right now…_

I kept my eyes away from him getting annoyed "No offence, but I think you were looking for it. You started picking on me first" I looked at him halfway always calm.

"You are to blame, appearing in front of me. Your very existence gets on my nerves"

"You have serious issues. Next time I'll place warning out of the door"

He got pissed and raised his hand to hit me, and I felt too tired to bother and fight back, but he was stopped midway as someone grabbed his hand.

He glared at my grandfather over his shoulder, letting go of my collar fast.

_Everyone's back early..._

"Voltaire… Welcome back" he said, calming himself down.

"What have I told you, Susumu?" said the older piercing him with his eyes.

Susumu shrugged "Too many, which of all?" he said ironically.

Voltaire narrowed his eyes and twisted the other's hand which he was still holding. Susumu let a pained sound and hissed annoyed.

I leaned against the wall tiredly, watching them. And noticed Rafael standing in the doorway, glaring at my step father with his ears back.

"Remember who the real heir is. And who the guest" growled my grandfather.

Susumu shot him a glare and snapped his hand away from the elder's grip.

"I remember very well"

"You don't show it. If I see you treat my grandson like this again, you'll be in deep trouble"

"Pft, right" he stormed out of the room and grandfather looked at me "I've told you some things too" I nodded for his responce and he walked out too.

I closed my eyes and sunk to the floor against the wall.

Rafael rushed to my side "Hey, Nicky. Are you alright…?" he sat beside me worried. I nodded with my eyes still closed.

"Other times you would mock and shove him off, what's the matter today…? Are you alright? He asked concerned. My head was pounding.

"Just really tired…" I replied lifelessly.

"Whatever you're going through is casting much pressure on you, doesn't it…?"

"It does…"

He reached and felt my forehead.

"You're warm" he sighed "Come on, sleep time for you, you need rest"

I nodded again "That I will agree" I stood up with the walls support and walked up the stairs with Rafael by my side, making sure I reached my room safely.

Once in my room, I fell on the bed almost crashing my cat which once more preferred my bed over her own.

"Thanks…" I said tiredly rolling on my back. And I meant more than his help to my room. I was sure the reason Voltaire was there, was him.

"Don't mention it. Rest well for now" he replied and walked out after making sure all was ok with me.

I stroked Elektra's fur for a moment as she climbed in my lap and soon drifted to sleep with her curled close.

_No more guilt for tonight…_

**Max's POV**

I watched the wall curled to the side of my bed. Just a while ago I had taken the second half of my pills and was feeling alright, but couldn't sleep, actually I hadn't laid down to sleep. I left my parents after the dinner because my father told me he wanted to talk with my mom.

Mom said she came because my dad had asked her, to make it a surprise for me, but I felt this wasn't the only reason, after all I merely got to see her. Something didn't quite fit. When my mother saw me in front of the door, she looked at me as if she didn't expect to see me…

But why wouldn't she expect to see me…?

I curled up more my stomach twisted from worry. I sat up and hugged my knees watching the door.

I rocked myself back and forth uncomfortably.

I heard the chairs shifting downstairs and guessed they got up, but it made me feel worst. Suddenly I felt trapped…

I heard both their steps coming up the stairs and I hugged the pillow waiting for the door to open, even if I hoped they weren't heading here…

One of them knocked the door.

I calmed myself as much as I could and set the pillow beside me.

"Come in" I said.

My mother opened the door and walked to take a seat beside me.

_Bad sign…_

"What is it…?" I asked.

They traded a glance and the one sitting on my bed talked "Well, Max… We, think there is something we need to discuss"

"Alright" I said already shaking.

My father sighed, took my desk chair, and placed it in front of my bed to sit himself. I followed his actions but skipped his facing him.

"What about…?" I dared to ask and face my father.

"We know there is something going on, Max" said my father sighing.

"I… Don't understand" I dropped my gaze to the floor again.

My mother sighed by my side watching me frowned.

"I'll rephrase then" my dad again "We know exactly what's going on, Max"

I bit my lip without raising my gaze.

_They know…_

"I… I still don't understand what we're talking about" I replied shakily fighting my urge to have a breakdown.

They both sighed; I couldn't tell if it was annoyed, disappointed or impatient.

"Max" my mom "Can you please remove your shirt and show us your arms?"

I froze in place, filled with panic. Everything felt to trap me in this place and there was no escape…

_No… _

_Please no…_

_Why…_

_I don't want to…_

"NO!" I screamed losing consciousness of my surroundings.

I was suffocating again…

_-Flashback-_

**_Kai's POV_**

_"Kai…?" _

_"Good evening, Mr. Tate" I watched the man staring me surprised as he opened the door. Well to be expected, he shouldn't be expecting anyone so late and especiallu not me. _

_"Good evening…" he said, with curiosity._

_"Did I wake you up?" I asked softly._

_"No, I… What are you doing here? Did something happen with, Max?" he asked getting worried._

_I sighed "So-so… Can I come in? I need to talk with you, it's important"._

_He watched me suspiciously before letting me in. From experience, I know that from my appearance I'm the kind of kid that parents don't like close to their kids. Mr. Tate was in that category too, he never seemed to trust me. But he walked me to the kitchen and offered me something warm to drink but I refused. He took a seat opposite me._

_I sighed and leaned front resting my hands on the table, watching him seriously._

_"I don't like what I'm doing. But if you aren't aware of what is going on, you won't be able to help, and things might take a wrong turn, and I don't want that. And I'm sure, neither do you"._

_He took an expression that showed he had no clue of what I was talking, but nodded._

_"I'm all ears…" he said._

_I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair before speaking again._

_"Max… There's something very serious going on with him…"_

_When I was done explaining to him, Max's father had his face in his palms, gripping on his own hair. It took me a while to make him believe what was going on with his son was indeed a fact. But he had slowly started to realize things himself._

_Things he didn't notice because he never thought of the possibility._

_I didn't like what I had done, but I had to. At the moment this parent was suffering from the hell his child had entered, and Max was also going through a nightmare. But to have it end you must not place a blind eye. You must step up and go through it._

_I stayed silent waiting for him to recover from this, I knew it wouldn't be simple, but he had to go through it for Max's sake. If he didn't he would end up facing something far worst. A parent's worst nightmare._

_Their child's death._

_When he managed to get a hold of himself, he went to the other room and called his wife, telling her to take the first plane and come over. He didn't give farther explanation from the phone. Afterward he came back demolished but trying to pick his piecies and thanked me._

_He honestly thanked me. It wasn't ironical or with hidden meaning. He was grateful I had told him, but that didn't make me feel much better. I had betrayed Max's trust. But I didn't regret it either._

_When I was sure the man could manage on his own I left the house and returned to the dojo. It was dawn; I stayed awake, and waited until it was time to wake the others._

_And we all did what we had to for this big day to go by. _

_Pretended_

_We all pretended._

_Pretended everything was normal. Hoping it soon would be…_

_-Flashback End-_

_If life had a restart button everything would be much easier. You would be able to correct your wrong actions and try for a better result. But there is no such thing, and so we have to live on with the consequences of the things we have done._

_Every ending is absolute. _

_But every start is new…_

**To be continued~**

* * *

Note: Elektra was my favourite cat... I never learned what happened to her... I miss you love *shapes heart*

What I feared most was the add of an OC... But I did it... Rafael excists since 2004 if not before, and I love him so much... Please cope with him, he is a supporting character only. To help with the view of Kai's life and all...

Rafael: The characters have refrained to sleep in this chapter. So only I will request you from the bottom of my wolfy heart. Please review.

* * *

**Also Thanks to:** All those who read and enjoy this story. Support and inspire me. Thank you... (I won't name you one by one in this chapter because i'm in a hurry. In the next one maybe)

* * *

_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_Here we are__ (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	12. Chapter 12: Enjoy the Silence

_Omg... Finally... I wonder if someone will actually read this. Do you remember that? Those who will bother to read this ultra late update... You are awesome. I won't bother with blahblah (new school, same beloved girlfriend). Just need to warn you that this is pretty... Poorly writen in my pov. And as well rushed. I wanted to move ahead with the plot, and hopefully I will be updating more. Also by the end I was half asleep so... yeah... I think it's my most OOC chapter or what OTL will try to fix it... I AM SORRY FOR THE WAIT!_

Reminder since it has been long: Rafael: Brother in law. Susumu: Father in law

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. **

**Warnings: Drug addiction, use, torture, shounen-ai, yaoi (furute maybe).**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter twelve  
**

**__****Enjoy the silence**  


**_MailJeevas just entered the conversation._**

_MailJeevas said: Good morning mina-san…_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Hello, Mail-san~_

_NoahKaiba13 said: Good morning!_

_PinkKumagoro said: Ah, Mail-san. Sashiburi._

_OzInWonderland said: _Ja~ Ohayoooooo Mail-san.

NoahKaiba13 said: What's with the dots? Something the matter?

MailJeevas said: Ugh… Not much more than what I have already told you…

IchigoNyanNyan said: Your friend? Did something happen?

MailJeevas said: I had told you that we returned yesterday, after going away to attend something, right? We all went to our houses.

OzInWonderland said: Ja, I remember that.

NoahKaiba13 said: What about it?

MailJeevas said: Well, my friend didn't come to school today… I am sort of worried…

PinkKumagoro said: Neeee? Why don't you call him?

MailJeevas said: I am at school right now and don't have a cell-phone, Kumagoro-san…

IchigoNyanNyan said: I suppose he doesn't have e-mail either?

**_WinryGenious just entered the conversation._**

_MailJeevas said: I don't think it's appropriate in the certain condition… Hello, Winry-san._

_PinkKumagoro said: Winry-saaaaaaaaaaaan! My heart is filled with joy to see you here._

_OzInWonderland said: Hahaha! _

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Get serious Kumagoro; we are supposed to be supporting Mail._

_WinryGenious said: Hello everyone. What's up? Oh, Ichigo! It's been such a long time since I last saw you online._

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Yes I know. I don't have a PC at home. I happened to visit an internet café again. Glad that you made it._

_NoahKaiba13 said: It's pretty weird for you to be here also, Winry. You rarely ever come._

_WinryGenious said: I have work to catch up guys. But my boss left yesterday so I have more free time._

_PinkKumagoro said: Ow, lucky you. Where did they go?_

_WinryGenious said: That's nothing to do with you. So what's up here?_

_NoahKaiba13 said: Mail returned from his trip with his friends. And the one who had been having troubles didn't appear to school today._

_OzInWonderland said: Yes and we are trying to calm him down._

_MailJeevas said: It's alright guys. I will go visit him after school probably._

_PinkKumagoro said: Oh yes, you should do that. Friends are important. Besides, I am dying to learn what happened…_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: This is not funny, Kumagoro…_

_PinkKumagoro said: I can't help my curiosity, dear flower. Besides someone arrived at my own house yesterday as well and they were in really bad condition both emotionally and physically. It makes me wonder if yesterday was Friday 13 or something._

_WinryGenious said: Don't be ridiculous._

_OzInWonderland said: My my! People keep coming and going on? What an interesting coincidence!_

_PinkKumagoro said: Haha! That's why I love you Oz. You always can see things from my point of view._

_OzInWonderland said: You can always count on me dear._

_IchigoNyanNyan said: You are so careless, both of you._

_OzInWonderland said: Well, it's not like we can do anything either way, Ichigo. _

_NoahKaiba13 said: That's true. Mail knows we are here if he needs to talk, but we can't do much more than that…_

**_NoahKaiba13 started a private conversation with you._**

_NoahKaiba13 said: Chief… Is there anything I can do? What is going on with Max, why aren't you telling me?_

_MailJeevas said: It's sort of complicated, Zeo… I am sort of confused myself… I will tell you if anything gets better… Or worse…_

_NoahKaiba13 said: Is there such possibility? What's going on? The last two weeks you have been worrying us all…_

_MailJeevas said: Heh, I know… I shouldn't have troubled you all, but I honestly wasn't sure on whom should I talk with…_

_NoahKaiba13 said: Don't be stupid… You can talk with me anytime. If you want to meet outside we can do that also!_

_MailJeevas said: Thank you… Really, it means a lot… I need to log out now. Break is over._

_NoahKaiba13 said: Ok… I am online most of the time if you need anything._

_MailJeevas said: Hai. Arigato…_

**_The private conversation is closed._**

_MailJeevas said: I am off guys. See you soon! I am glad I talked with all of you even for a little. And thank you for your support._

_PinkKumagoro said: Aaaah, it was nothing!_

_WinryGenious said: You did nothing._

_PinkKumagoro: Neither did you! Why are girls so mean to me? Oz!_

_OzInWonderland: jajajaja! Don't worry dear. I am here to hold your hand._

_PinkKumagoro: Thanks love._

_MailJeevas: Haha! Bye bye!_

_IchigoNyanNyan: Take care dear._

_WinryGenious said: See you, Mail._

**_MailJeevas left the conversation._**

**_Kenny's POV_**

I sighed lowly and closed Dizzy's lid softly not really in the mood to hear her commentaries, even if she could speak with her lid closed as well. I leaned back on my seat taking off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. Max hadn't come to school today. When the lesson had started I had traded worried glanced with Tyson, even if we had both expected for him not to be present this day.

When the bell rung for break, Tyson left like always to go eat, or hang out with Hilary if I had to guess, since this seemed to be his new hobby. He completely neglected me anymore and generally I felt left out. With what was going on with Max as well. Even if to be honest I wasn't one hundred percent sure that the bluenette knew exactly what was going on with our friend.

Personally I was like… Ninety nine percent sure, since I had seen him and with some of Dizzy's help we figured out what was actually going on. But I still couldn't believe it. I couldn't put my hand on it, I didn't dare to phrase it, not even in my head, but I couldn't lie to myself either…

I placed my glasses back on and leaned front over my desk while I waited for my classmates to return to class. Without the champion I would rather not walk around, and since he left without bothering to check if I was coming, I chose to stay behind and check my forum.

The Bey-Spirit was a website or actually the forum I had come up with last summer, when I was extremely bored and lonely. It was mainly used from people who were above the amateur's level, or were interested to interact with beyblading seriously. Of course everyone was accepted, but most people chose to just visit and check my blog where I uploaded advices and tutorials on beyblade constructions. There were actually times that my blog had hit extremely big hit numbers, although no one knew who the creator actually was. I hadn't bothered to inform any member of the team about it, because I doubted they would care, and honestly except of Kai, I highly doubted it there was anyone else who seriously spent some time on a computer.

My alias was the name of a gamer anime character, and it sort of became a habit for people to name themselves after anime and manga characters also. The chat room was open for everyone, but most of the visitors chose to check the forum threads instead of logging in and chatting. There were only a few members that would repeatedly come inside and chat, and those were also the standard ones. They had all become my friends up until now. There were days we had spent more than five hours chatting. Naturally after so long time, beyblading which was the purpose of the forum, wasn't much of a subject in our conversations. We had reached the personal matter, and we talked about things that bothered us. Honestly, I had passed more time talking with them about Max than I had done with the rest of the team. We remained anonymous, for this was the fun side of the whole thing. People came and go in the chat-room, but the basic team was us.

First person I had interacted with was WinryGenious. She was a workaholic girl that most of the time had to sneak overnight to chat, because during the day she was busy. Generally even if she seemed to be sort of snob, and think that she knows everything (since when we were first talking, it was about beyblading and she always found something to correct him on, although she obviously had wide knowledge on the subject) she had started to behave more kindly.

Secondly, it was Zeo with the name NoahKaiba13. He was the only one I was sure of who was he in real life. I was the one who had told him he could get some help on beyblading from my forum and then he sticked in with the chat as well, with me and Winry. He was pretty enthusiastic since I and her would keep talking about beyblading and new ideas. He had told me that he was learning a lot from us and thanked us.

One day when we logged in, there was OzInWonderland. Oz was pretty eccentric from what I could see and he didn't really mind beyblade much. He said that he was bored and thought he would hang out with us a little bit because we seemed like amusing people. He didn't talk way too much, he would mostly watch the rest of us talk, and speak random comments at times. Although at some point Zeo started talking about tea kinds and Oz lived up and they had a long cultural conversation, which I and Winry joined. It was enjoyable even if I had no idea that so many kind of teas excised.

IchigoNyanNyan and PinkKumagoro joined us the same day. Ichigo told us that she couldn't visit the site a lot, and also didn't have wide knowledge on computers. This was the first chat-room she had ever entered, and she typed very very slow… But she was also interested in beyblading, and I could bet that she was also a great player. For the very reason she didn't have a computer in her house, she logged in very rarely, but when she did she was always being amusing. She fought with Winry a lot, but I didn't see it as a catfight. It was mostly out of fun. When Kumagoro entered the team, they teamed up on teasing him because he was 'flirting' with both of them.

Kumagoro entered the chat some hours after Ichigo and he said that he hated beyblading. In the beginning we though he was just a random hater, but soon he filled his phrase and said that he was still interested to learn why so many people like it. He stayed around and watched us talk about it. He read multiply threads and asked me many things. At some point he admitted that the whole thing was interesting but he still hated. It was then that I figured he must have had personal reasons for that. Either way, he didn't leave the chat. He stayed and kept coming (actually there were times I wondered if he ever logged out because every time I would come, even if there was no one else online, Kumagoro would be). He was getting along with Oz a lot, and as I already said he enjoyed flirting with the girls. Like everyone else he was supportive and open minded when there was something wrong with any of us, but still at some points I wondered how his mind worked.

I looked up finally once the chair beside me was dragged back and Tyson claimed his seat letting out a long sigh.

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

"Not any more than you know" he replied and untied his ponytail. He had stopped wearing his hat in the class, Hilary used to complain for that, and now that they were… Well… Closer, he chose to stop it completely "I will go over to Max's house once the lesson is over, will you come?" he asked while he was brushing through his own hair with his fingers, fixing it well before tying it again neatly.

"Of course I will come" I replied half mumbling "Who else is going to come?" honestly I was asking about Hilary. I had got used to her coming around, she was part of the team anymore, but I was starting to feel like she gained place while I was being shoved out slowly. Frankly I was jealous that Tyson hardly spent any time with me anymore and chose her. But if I had to guess, it must always be the same with couples when a new relationship starts.

"I would take Ray, but I want to go straight from here. I can't wait" he said and placed his hands behind his head, leaning back balancing his chair on its back feet, glaring at the ceiling. Naturally he was bothered and worried by Max's absence just like I was, even if we had seen that coming from the day before. As it seemed, for whatever reason Hiromi wouldn't be joining us.

Leaving a sigh myself, I rest my chin on my joined hands, looking down at Dizzy's closed lid "How do you think he will be?" I dared to whisper after a while, when the rest of the classmates and the teacher had walked in the class and the lesson started. As my friend didn't reply I turned my eyes to him with a slight frown, to meet his own sad face as he had sat normally once more and leaned forward on the desk.

"I don't know…" he said in the end and bit the end of his pen anxiously.

I figured it would be pointless to keep up this conversation. It would only make the hours pass slower and make us both worry even more for Max. The anxiety was already unbearable and the hours went by slower than I thought possible. I stared the clock on the wall. I knew very well that the time was flowing just like always, but why did it seem like someone was forcing the dials to slow down…?

**End of Kenny's POV**

* * *

In the Hiwatari mansion a peaceful song, played through a guitar and hummed from a young male, echoed through the east side of the first floor until the clock in the lounge rang twelve in the noon.

Rafael looked up on the first strike. Till all twelve were heard he had placed his guitar aside on his bed, beside a freshly closed laptop, a pile of untactful spread notes with lyrics and notes for music, and put on his butler outfit, with the white shirt, the expensive black vest and the shiny shoes and crest of the Hiwatari family, on the side of the heart. Leaving the room he walked down the corridor and the staircase heading straight to the kitchen where two maids, a cook and a butler were starting the preparations for the lunch.

Everything was back to normal. The same morning Kai had got breakfast with his grandfather and left for his exams, while the elder went to his job. Neither talked of the facts from the previous night. The young heir looked perfectly healthy, in contract of what he seemed to be the day before. Susumu was currently in his office, doing paperwork. Rafael mentally ordered him to stay there, since Kai would be returning soon. Today was his first day of exams. Right after the winter break. This didn't worry anyone really, in contract to the image he had, he was an excellent student. After all, he couldn't do otherwise. He had to keep up to the expectations for him.

"What's in today's menu?" asked the silver haired placing his hands behind his back. One of the maids replied with a short list. Rafael nodded and stepped forward "Go ahead, call me before you make the shares" he said and stepped outside. He always supervised Kai's share when it was being served, indenting to prevent another attempt of murder toward his brother and master. Susumu's failed tries to get rid of Kai had caused a lot of troubles to many of the servants and it was one of the reasons Voltaire was keeping Rafael in the house, and had become more patient toward the youth. Apparently it had been a long while since Kai's life had been threatened deadly from his so called 'father', since the head of the family had changed his rules, saying that if something happened to Kai he would pass the company to his daughter instead of Susumu. That dropped his hopes on taking over the threads of the Hiwatari Corporation but he hadn't stopped showing Kai how much he hated him with every chance… In the last thought Rafael's eyes narrowed clenching his fists, causing one of the maids to ask him if something was wrong. Giving her a sweet beam, Rafael replied negatively and left the room.

The middle of the hall was quiet and empty, making the rich decoration seem pointless. Kai's step brother raised his furry grey ears and pulled his pocket watch out, checking the time. Surely the youngest Hiwatari was on his way home. The youth placed the watch back to his pocket and returned upstairs to feed Elektra. Once the cat was devouring her food, the ookami took a view of his surroundings. Like usual he had hardly anything to tidy. The bed was already made, and pretty much everything was in place. Kai was truly very tidy.

Rafael stopped in front of the desk with the artistic stuff on it and pulled out the notebook that was missing the weeks Kai was away, from the shelf and shuffled through the last pages. Someone would consider this as invoking into someone's personal life. But supposedly the two brothers had no secrets. A few pen sketches were added since the last time the boy had looked through the pages.

Something not many people out of the family knew was that Kai had a very good hand, which was also something he wanted to do for the rest of his life, and luckily his grandfather allowed him to go to the colleague, even if they both knew, he wouldn't allow that to be his future. He had a company to run after all. He just let him to do this because he loved it too much, and he was already finishing his studies of what he would need to run the HC.

Rafael's eyes ran over the newer sketches, hoping to find a clue of what had been bothering his brother. He had tried to ask him again, but he wouldn't get an answer and that was eating them both. Through the drawings, Rafael recognized one of Kai's teammates. In the past, he had seen a lot of drawings of them all. Someone could say Kai enjoyed drawing his 'friends', they were one of his favorite themes.

These ones were different since the moments captured in the sketched were somewhat more personal. For example there were five rough sketches of the boy, whose name Rafael remembered, was Max, while he was sleeping. The brown eyed mentally noted that the freckled boy looked pretty cute and reminded him strongly of a puppy. Another two sketches showed him too be freshly awake, one while he yawned and the second in a 'just sat up from deep sleep' way. There was also a sketch of Max while he read a book, one while he was crying and about seven where he laughed. There were other sketches of course as well. One looked like Kenny, and there were four drawings of Tyson with Hilary, as well as a couple of pictures of Ray while he cooked. Naturally there were also more than ten sketches of cats and puppies here and there, since it's Kai's notebook after all.

Placing the will to praise his brother's abilities with pen, Rafael guessed that Kai's bad mood was caused my Max. Most of all, he paid close attention to the sketches where Max was crying and laughing. The lines were more forceful at some, to the point that the paper was swollen. Thing that meant Kai was emotionally overwhelmed while drawing them. All the sketches had dates written in Kai's calligraphic letters under them, placing the drawing where the blond cried, between two of the ones where he was laughing. Kai's brother was both really curious and worried right now. His sources hadn't been much helpful till now and the notebook only gave him a slight hint.

Elektra hissed lowly looking up at the boy. Rafael looked at her and smiled soft "Calm down. No sick intentions, I only want to help" he told her. The feline's green eyes remained up at him while the end of her tail shifted left and right, until Rafael closed the notebook and placed it back on the shelf "There" he told her. The cat licked her lips and yawned, rushing to Kai's bed and curled to her throne like a real queen.

Rafael rolled his eyes and left the room, about the time that the sound of the limousine coming at halt in the garden was heard. The teen stepped down of the stairs and made a step toward the door, suddenly being stopped as a hand grabbed the back of his collar and turned him around, shoving him against the wall of the staircase's side, leaving a gasp at the sudden violent move.

"How many times have I told you to mind your business?" looking up from where he was cornered, Rafael's eyes met Susumu's grey ones. The younger pulled a face that only showed the adult how little he thought of him.

"You are getting slower" replied Rafael with a slight smirk "Usually I would have the chance to tell you off right after Voltaire!"

Susumu growled "Shall I remind you your place?"

"This is getting old, don't you think?" Rafael's smirk only got brighter "I have place in this house as much as you do. We are one and the same on how much we deserve to be here, with the mere chance that I am wanted by someone"

The dark haired chuckled "You are the one who called Voltaire over right?"

Rafael's smirk dropped and his expression darkened to a glare "Right after you stepped to this house. I had no intention of letting you lay a finger on him"

"It's not of your business what I am doing with my son"

"He is not your son" the ookami's ears moved back and he growled lowly "And surely he is not your property"

It was Susumu's turn to smirk.

**Kai's POV**

The first subject of the exams wasn't difficult. Even with a faint headache I had completely no problem in answering every question. Luckily my fever from the night before left as it came. As it seemed it was the stress that had caused me all that, or so I thought. Either way, I was healthy.

Before I leave for school, I was left alone with my grandfather for a very short while after the breakfast, and he didn't forget to tell me how disappointed he was and that I could have face Susumu. Honestly, even if I don't usually have mean thoughts concerning my grandfather, he could at least respect the fact that once in a while even I get sick. Not to mention he should have kicked Susumu out of the house long ago. But no, he had to protect the family's name. As if my mother didn't show off the fact she was eloping with her butler.

At least after shoving this subject aside, I got him to agree to pay for me removing the tattoos off my face. It wasn't a big deal concerning money, but until now he said I was young and it wasn't healthy or something. No idea how he came up with those things. Eventually, we agreed that I would escort him to some high class meetings and receptions that he had been invited the last months, and within the following month I would be getting the blue triangles off my face. For those who don't know it, the tattoos weren't my choice. They were Boris' idea when I had entered Biovolt. My grandfather wasn't happy about that actually…

Finally I walked through my house's gate at 12:55. Luckily or not, I was busy enough today with my personal matters, that my mind didn't wonder much toward Max and how he could be doing. After all, there wasn't something I could do now. It would be meaningless to keep worrying over him now.

Stepping out of the limousine I greeted Cassius and stepped inside the house, playing with my pendant absent mindedly (usually I don't wear my scarf at school). From the morning I hoped it would be a peaceful day for me, since I really REALLY needed full 24 hours of peace of mind. But it didn't seem like I would have it.

Right after I stepped inside the mansion, I found my idiot of brother on top of my asshole of father in law, fighting, while a maid and a butler were trying to pull them apart. I paused for a second taken by surprise of the sight and let my bag drop to the floor, rushing to them, managing to pull them apart.

"Rafael!" I called "Hey!"

The boy looked at me half glaring then glanced at Susumu who was being held by the butler. Naturally, Rafael had merely any scratch on him, while my mother's husband was developing a bruise under his eye and a cut on his lip. My brother slowly calmed and fixed his vest and tie cleaning his throat.

"My apologies" he said, without any hint of guilt or regret in his voice.

"This time I will make sure to get you fired, scum" growled the adult, fixing his own outfit.

"Ow yes? Just wait till he ask me why I hit you" hissed Rafael, getting Susumu to narrow his eyes.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Openly"

"Cut it out both of you!" I raises my voice catching their attention and turned my eyes to the older "As you can see I am fine today, so don't provoke me" I said pretty calmly "Don't you have work to do?"

The maid who had helped me get a hold of Rafael was shaking like a leaf, still gripping my brother's sleeve tightly.

Finally Susumu pulled away from the butler and spit blood on the ground before turning his back to us and returning to his study.

Rafael turned to the girl and soothed her calmly, while the butler rushed to clean Susumu's dirt. When both left the room, I looked at Rafael disapprovingly.

"What was that about?" I asked placing one hand on my waist.

Rafael frowned and averted his eyes from me, causing me to frown as well, getting the general idea of what was going on before I come. After all, I was pretty much always the reason for the two of them to fight.

I let out a tired sigh "Look, whatever he said, you should have ignored him"

"I apologize" he mumbled pouting.

"Whatever" I said and picked up my bag from where I dropped it before "Is there anything in my program today?"

"No, nothing. Tomorrow you have visit to your optician only. Apart of this, your usual stuff"

"Ok, call me when it's time for lunch, and no more fights" with this I headed up for my room.

"Check your temperature again! Just to be sure" called Rafael from the bottom of the stairs, his ears perking up.

"Ok, ok" I closed the door and set my bag next to my desk. Elektra jumped down and rushed to stroke herself on my legs, purring loudly. I lifted her up and dropped with my back on the bed, having her rest on my chest. I stayed there for a while, reading a book of the ones that delivered while I was away, called Good Omens. In fact I had already read this online, but I wanted my own copy, so I bought it and was already halfway through with it.

About half an hour later I got up and moved to my right desk (the one with the drawing supplies). Taking a view of the things laying on the surface, I knew I had a lot of drawings to finish, but I didn't feel in the mood to continue any of them yet. Carefully I packed them and placed them on the pile of the other of my unfinished drawings on the box next to my legs. Elektra climbed on my other desk and sat on the laptop to watch me work.

I bit my thumb thoughtfully, looking up at the shelf, wondering what I could draw to spend my time. I spotted the notebook I had taken with me in the trip with the Bladebreakers, slightly narrowing my eyes as it was placed upside down, but guessing it was Rafael who inspected it, I brushed it off. He had seen many of my drawings of my teammates I had made in the past… Without a doubt, this time I had overdone it with Max, but the same was happening when my roommate was ray. I would draw him the most on my notebooks, so there was no really reason to worry for anything. It was not like I had something to hide.

Eventually I dragged close one of my blocks and turned to a white page, taking one of my mechanical pencils from the pencil case. I started doodling Max once more. It might be weird to some people, but to me drawing and reading are the greatest stress reliefs, even if I am known for beyblading. By now, I could draw all of my teammates by heart; I didn't need any sort of reference. Soon in this sketch, Max turned out to be laughing while he sat on the stone of a pond swinging his legs, with a couple of turtles poking their heads out of the water.

A soft smile formed on my lips, while I added tones and textures with my pencil, making the picture seem livelier. You could say it was one of those pieces of art, where the creator places his wishes in the paper… I really wished to see Max laugh once more… it seemed quite a long time since it had happened, even if he would occasionally laugh in the time we shared a room, but it was shadowed by the facts that had taken place… I wanted to see him laugh full heartedly like when I first met him…

As I expected, my mind wandered to my blond teammate faster than I could prevent it, while I stared his face in my own drawing. I wondered if his father had already talked to him. Most likely he had, so I wondered how he was doing now. I knew very well that I felt guilty, and that was why I couldn't snap out of it. I had done the right thing, hadn't I? The worst of the storm should have passed by now…

"Very cute indeed… How long do you plan on staring it? Even if I would be proud enough to watch it for hours if I had drawn it myself"

I jumped looking up at Rafael who was looking over my shoulder.

"When did you come in!" I demanded to know.

"Just now. I knocked but seems like you were very absorbed to notice" he smiled softly. I let out a groan and rubbed my temple "What is it?"

"Lunch is ready, young Master" he said grinning widely.

"Ok, I am coming" I replied and closed the block, letting the pencil in, to keep the page.

"You draw him a lot, how come?" he questioned. I knew very well that Rafael never asked out of mere curiosity or intended to gossip. He was worried, because of the long face I had since I returned.

"We shared room" I knew this explanation covered enough, since it was a usual habit of mine, to use the person closer to me at the time as a drawing subject. Surely more questions were lurking from the silver head, but noticing something I got the chance to change the subject "Your shirt is wrong buttoned" I said and raises my eyebrow looking at him suspiciously.

"Ow… Well…" he blushed deep and looked away with a smile he could hardly hide.

I mentally rolled my eyes, while a smirk formed on my lips "How many times have I told you to stop screwing the maids?" I asked half scolding him and half jokingly.

"I stopped!" he yelped "Now I am screwing the butlers" a satisfied smirk plastered on his face and he started buttoning his shirt correctly.

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't asked…" I sweat-dropped even if I still felt the smile on my face.

"Pansexuality is a good thing, Nicky. You should try it"

"Right, whatever. I won't be able to always save you from Voltaire though when he finds out you are keeping his workers busy" I stood up and we headed out together.

"Why come on. I am keeping them happy! They are more productive after sex"

I laughed soft "Whatever floats your boat. Sometimes your reasoning is leaving me speechless, if you are lucky same will happen for my grandfather"

"I doubt it, so I will try to keep it hidden"

"Good luck. Fix your collar" I instructed as we reached the dining room's door. Rafael reached for the doorknob but paused before opening the door and looked at him "The boy you are drawing. Max… Is something going on between you two?"

His voice had lowered since behind these doors my grandfather was waiting for me. For some reason his question caught me off guard. I had drawn Ray so many times and he never asked me anything of that sort, why now?

"Where did that come from?" I asked glancing at the door uneasily. If something like this reached my grandfather's ears, even if it was a lie (which was), I would get in trouble without a doubt.

Rafael shrugged "Just asking… I don't mean romantically. I am asking generally"

"Ah" for some reason I would swear I saw a smirk on my brother's face for a second "Yeah, well… Some things…"

"Did you have a fight?"

"No, not exactly…"

"Aha… I see. Too complicated to be explained at the moment" with a sigh he slid the door open for me and I stepped inside "Don't think you escaped" he whispered as I passed in front of him and joined Voltaire and Susumu.

**End of Kai's POV**

* * *

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Say, Winry. _

_WinryGenious said: Mhm?_

_ IchigoNyanNyan said: What are you doing when you miss someone? Or when something is going on, and you don't know what it is?_

_WinryGenious said: Ow… Well, you aren't asking exactly the right person. I haven't happened to miss someone… But if something worries you why don't you ask them?_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: I asked and they didn't tell me… They said I shouldn't worry… They are living pretty far away right now and we only text each other, but I hardly have any signal, so even this is occasional… Last time we talked he seemed pretty upset about something, but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong._

_PinkKumagoro said: Ow… Could it be you are talking for your boyfriend, Ichigo-chan?_

_WinryGenious said: Are you stalking our conversation Kumagoro?_

_PinkKumagoro said: Not at all! I had said brb, Winry-chan. And here I am._

_OzInWonderland said: Was about time! I was so bored!_

_PinkKumagoro said: Ow my love. Don't worry! I am here!_

_OzInWonderland said: Jajajaja! Welcome back._

_WinryGenious said: If you are bored with us, Oz you could have simply left._

_OzInWonderland said: I was waiting for Kumagoro-chan!_

_PinkKumagoro said: Why are you so cute!_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Guys I have to go soon, I remind you I am on from an internet café._

_PinkKumagoro said: But of course Ichigo-chan. Please feel free to continue your conversation with Winry, I will talk with Oz._

_OzInWonderland said: after all, if you didn't want us to read that, you could have moved in a private conversation._

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Yeah, ok. We will do it now._

_PinkKumagoro said: Hey hey! All jokes aside, Ichigo-chan. When I miss someone and I can't contact them in any way. I do things that can make me feel like they are there._

_OzInWonderland said: Wow, I didn't know you were that romantic. Why didn't you ever show me that?_

_PinkKumagoro said: Haha!_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Like what?_

_PinkKumagoro said: Like things you did together. But it depends on the character as well. This may make you feel nostalgic and upset you… I sing and write songs when I miss someone… A dear person to me draws a lot of the things he dreams._

_WinryGenious said: This feels cheesy…_

_OzInWonderland said: Indeed, I must agree._

_PinkKumagoro said: Oh come on, Oz. I have a wonderful voice! You should listen to me sing!_

_OzInWonderland said: Hm… Oh ok, love I believe you. Will you write a song for me?_

_PinkKumagoro said: As many as you want love._

_IchigoNyanNyan said: sadly I am not talented in either drawing or singing._

_PinkKumagoro said: it's not about talent. It's about what you did together. What did you do together?_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: we trained in beyblading and cooked a lot._

_PinkKumagoro said: Cooking sounds cute._

_IchigoNyanNyan said: -giggles- I suppose I can try it._

_PinkKumagoro said: So, is he your boyfriend?_

_IchigoNyanNyan: Well… Yeah, I suppose he is!_

_PinkKumagoro said: The lucky bastard…_

_OzInWonderland said: Jajajaja! Kumagoro is in love with Ichigo!_

_WinryGenious said: I thought he was in love with you._

_OzInWonderland said: Oh true true. What do you have to say about that, Kumagoro!_

_PinkKumagoro said: Fret not my beloved! You are the only one for me!_

_WinryGenious said: Do you even know each other irl?_

_PinkKumagoro said: sometimes, it is not needed to know the other irl to fall in love, Winry-san. Isn't that right? Do you know anyone on here irl?_

_WinryGenious said: Not as far as I know…_

_OzInWonderland said: Me neither! But it's ok!_

_IchigoNyanNyan said: Haha! You are cute guys. Neither do I know any of you, but I like you. Well, I have to go now. It was fun talking with you all, take care and thanks for everything. Bye bye!_

_PinkKumagoro said: Bye bye! Don't forget us!_

_WinryGenious said: Take care_

**_IchigoNyanNyan left the conversation._**

_OzInWonderland said: I would love to stay and harass Kumagoro-chan, but I will go out for coffee with some friends. You should have come earlier!_

_PinkKumagoro said: I will dream of you my love! Don't forget about me ok!_

_OzInWonderland said: Jajajaja! Yes yes, I will make sure of that. Bye bye~_

_PinkKumagoro said: Kisses!_

**_OzInWonderland left the conversation._**

_PinkKumagoro said: Weeeeeell. It seems like it's just you and me now, Winry-chan. shall I rape you?_

_WinryGenious said: Decide who the hell you want. Me, Oz or Ichigo?_

_PinkKumagoro said: I love all flowers is the truth. Ichigo-chan is extremely cute, and I love strawberries. Oz is delicate and smart and funny. But you… You are the smartest of them all, Winry-chan…_

_WinryGenious said: It's the first time I hear you say something correct._

_PinkKumagoro said: Tsk tsk… So much hate… I can't help but wonder who was more upset about Ichigo having a boyfriend. I, or you, Winry-chan…?_

_WinryGenious said: Excuse me?_

_PinkKumagoro said: you are so lucky she isn't as smart as I or Oz or your cover would have been blown off._

_WinryGenious said: You are speaking nonsense._

_PinkKumagoro said: I hope I am. Because I really really like her… If I get her to tell me who she is irl, I will take the first plane to find her._

_WinryGenious said: Good luck with that. I must return to my job now._

_PinkKumagoro said: Is your boss back yet?_

_WinryGenious said: No, that's why I must go. Someone must keep the others intact._

_PinkKumagoro said: Makes sense. Good luck, Winry-chan._

_WinryGenious said: Later_

**_WinryGenious left the conversation._**

_PinkKumagoro said: Ah… Alone again, naturally… _

_PinkKumagoro said: This is sad…_

_PinkKumagoro said: I am upset…_

_PinkKumagoro said: This is lonely…_

_PinkKumagoro said: I could speak my secrets inside this empty chat room! No one will ever know!_

_PinkKumagoro said: I am really upset. I really feel like killing a bastard…_

_PinkKumagoro said: But it's not my fault! He is getting on my nerves._

_PinkKumagoro said: We all have someone very important that we need to protect!_

_PinkKumagoro said: We don't want them to be hurt…_

_PinkKumagoro said: No…_

_PinkKumagoro said: Is that a crime?_

_PinkKumagoro said: I am sorry…_

_PinkKumagoro said: I am sorry!_

_PinkKumagoro said: I AM SORRY!_

* * *

**Kenny's POV**

Holding Dizzy close to my chest, I walked beside Tyson, heading to Max's house right after school was done. The walk was painfully quiet, while having for company Tyson. It was really suffocating. When you have friends like the champion, you don't get a quiet moment, even when you want to and now he wouldn't even make a sound… In the end it was my laptop that broke the silence.

"Why now, you are both as silent as the grave, this doesn't help the condition, boys"

"Tsk. What do you know?" asked Tyson annoyed with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"I know enough" replied Dizzy steadily "I know that you both are worried, but honestly, if you have long faces when you meet Max, I doubt he will be delighted to see you".

"I think he will be"

"A smile would help him more than your expressions. You will burn my camera. Kenny stop being that negative!"

"I am sorry, Dizzy" I replied apologetically frowning "The ones that lighted up my spirit are both down, so…"

I saw sideway Tyson looking at me and then turning away, biting his lips guiltily "Sorry, Chief…" he said.

"It's alright…" I mumbled.

"By the way" said Dizzy again "I know that it's nice to have a girlfriend, Tyson. But you shouldn't ignore chief that much!"

I yelped "Dizzy!"

Tyson blushed deeply "I-I… Oh shit, I guess I did it" with a groan the taller run his fingers through his hair "I'm really sorry, Kenny… I was trying to convince her not to come today, so I stayed with her all time. I didn't think Max would feel all that comfortable with her there"

"Wow… You have some sense of logic after all!" exclaimed my laptop.

Tyson growled loudly "Of course I do, you arrogant machinery!"

I smiled lightly, as I saw some of the old Tyson resurfacing.

Not long after we were standing on Max's doorstep. We traded one lance glance to each other, and Tyson finally rang the doorbell. About five minutes passed and nothing. I raised my hand and rang once more.

This time faint steps were heard from the inside until they stopped behind the door that slowly unlocked and opened just a bit, where we came face to face to our blond friend. At first he opened the door very little, just to check who it is. His face wasn't well lightened but I could still see how desperate and hopeless he seemed. His eyes were swollen and red from crying. I guessed that we had taken him out of the shower, because his hair was wet, and his pajamas were fresh, with a soft smell of soap.

After a moment that he watched us, and got a quiet greeting from Tyson, he pushed back the door, wide open and jumped on the one who greeted him, wrapping his arms around his neck tightly.

Even if the champion seemed taken aback, a weak smile appeared on his features as he wrapped his arms around our friend "Hey, Maxie" he said softly and brushed the blond' s wet locks gently. The blond whimpered shakily, gripping Tyson's shirt to the point where his knuckles turned white.

"I am really happy to see you guys" he said weakly, barely being heard through the sobs that he was struggling to suppress.

"It's cold out here and your hair is wet! You will catch a cold!" I said.

"Chief is right, let's go inside" said Tyson, ruffling Max' s hair and the younger nodded with a weak smile, pushing back only to get a hold of Tyson's sleeve as if he feared he would go away and guided us inside.

Max led us in the kitchen and offered us a seat, letting go of Tyson's sleeve only when he had taken a seat. Max himself pushed a chair between Tyson's and mine and crouched himself on it, after bringing a cup with hot cocoa for each of us.

"Are you alone?" I didn't expect him to be left alone in his condition, but it seemed after all that no one was with him.

"Yes" he replied curling his feet in front of his chest, curling back to his seat, holding the cup on his knees "My mom went out to bring me something to eat and dad is visiting a rehabitation centre, one and half hour from here to speak the last details of my hospitalization" he finished his sentence frankly.

My stomach twisted. I didn't turn toward him or away. I froze in my place. Tyson clenched his cup looking down at it and Dizzy who now rested with her lid open on the table remained silent.

Slowly Tyson turned to the blond, and I did so as well, hesitantly. Max's eyes were overflowing with tears and he was biting his lips, looking down at his own cup, soundlessly crying. The leader left his cup on the table and carefully took Max's from his hands, placing it aside as well. In the end he wrapped his arms around the boy comfortingly, with a serious look on his face. Max let out his sobs be heard now and leaned on him, hiding his face on his shirt, gripping on it tightly.

Once again, I felt pretty useless. I stayed watching my friend in pain, while the other was hushing him. Now it occurred to me and I wondered, if what Kai did was the right thing to be done. Kai had betrayed them in the past, but… No… that was different… It wasn't like before… This was for Max's good. We all wanted him to get better, and to succeed this once and for all, he needed help from professionals… Since his mother had come over as well, it was absolute. I stayed there quietly in case they needed anything since it seemed like I couldn't do any better than that, until the doorbell broke through the sound of Max's sobs and Tyson's soothing words.

"I will get it" I said and walked out to the corridor to the door. While I reached the middle of the way I paused for a second, as a scary thought passed through my mind. If that was either of his friend's parents they would get scolded. Opening it, I faced a pile of bags. Behind it was Judy, I figured from the voice that followed.

"I am sorry, Max. I couldn't take my keys out" she said.

I blinked and reached out, taking some of her stuff, to help her and allow her to face me.

"Nice to see you again, Miss Judy" I said seriously.

"Oh, Kenny. It's been a while. Came to visit Max?" she said giving me a small smile and stepped inside. I used my foot to close the door and followed her, but made sure to cut her before she pass to the living room.

"Yeah… Miss" I called in a stern tone that made her pause in her steps and turn to face me.

"Yes?" she replied.

I turned to the things I was holding since I couldn't see my feet while holding those "You left Max alone in his condition…?" I asked lowly.

"I didn't take long" she replied calmly.

"That isn't an excuse… The worst things happen in the time of seconds" I looked up, glaring behind my glasses "You don't leave someone in his emotional state alone! Didn't it occur to you that he could have suicide!" I asked. I didn't yell it and I really hopped that I wasn't heard in the kitchen.

Judy stared at me seriously "He wouldn't do such a thing" she replied simply.

"Some days ago, you wouldn't think he would do drugs! How irresponsible are you!" I couldn't help but raise my voice this time. It is not easy for a child to stand up to an adult. But I was right, I knew I was. The mere thought of losing my friend scared me more than I thought it would, but at the moment it was a possibility that could have happened. It wasn't an imaginary alternative universe. When I and Tyson walked in the house, all signs of life had left his eyes. What if that though had crossed his mind? What if we hadn't come? Would he still be alive?

I turned my eyes down once more, squeezing the bags I was holding, feeling my own eyes water. I don't know if it was out of anger or sadness, as pictures of the old cheerful, full of life Max filled my mind. What was the woman in front of him thinking? Did she not care? Is it an adult thing? Is it a selfish way that forces them to see things differently? It doesn't matter how well you raise a child. It could do mistakes, it could have dark thoughts, it doesn't mean that you mustn't see them.

'I raised my kid correctly, it wouldn't do this, it wouldn't do that. I did no mistake'

I had heard this selfish way of thinking in the past. It made me wonder if something of that sort was bothering Judy's mind. Did she intentionally overlook facts? Because she didn't want to accept she might do something wrong?

I felt myself shaking and I wanted to scream, but I had said enough already. Looking up, I saw Judy watching me frowned. To be honest, never before had I seen her like that. She turned around and walked to the kitchen, where the others were without a word. I sighed and followed after a minute.

Max was curled close to Tyson with his head rested on his shoulder. Judy walked close and whispered to him something that sounded like 'my baby'. The blond raised his gaze, sitting up a little as his mother leaned over and pulled him in a warm embrace, holding him fondly and preciously.

I felt a little bad for what I told her, but if this sight was effect of what I said, then I was glad I did. It was a beautiful sight without a doubt and Max seemed like he melted in her arms, fully relaxing and feeling safe like nothing could harm him.

Both I, Ray, Kai but Max's parents as well knew how much Max feared the hospitalization, but three days later he seemed to have got used to the idea. He hadn't yet met Kai. Our captain was currently busy with exams, and he wouldn't be seeing us the whole week. Tyson cussed on him many times for not appearing before Max and claiming that he was a coward, unable to face the outcome of his doing.

Ray took Kai's place, saying that he had went through a lot for Max's sake and he deserved a rest, even if he said he knew he didn't do this for this reason. None of us talked about Kai in front of Max. Every time the name would accidentally slip someone's lips the blond went silent and his expression turned blank.

Ray, who had most free time, passed most time with Max. Making sure the boy was taking his pills, and ate well; the rest of us went over as much as we could. I had to hide what was wrong with Max, or my parents would have freaked out and forbid me to see him, thinking he was bad influence or something.

Speaking of which, none of us ever got a reply of how Max got mixed up with drugs. We had managed to talk the matter openly, but on the certain subject our friend looked like he got stuck, and he told us he didn't remembered. I am not sure if we all believed it or took it as a hint to not ask again.

As the week reached its end, on Thursday afternoon we escorted Max to the rehab centre. For about an hour, we waited on the waiting room, while Max was taken away for examinations, after getting his spirits up with our help.

Once everything was done, Max was sleeping deeply in one of the patience's room. According to the doctors he had been treated very well, and that he would be fine within three months. His studies would have to be postponed, but judging by the look on his parent's face that didn't really matter.

All of us were relieved as it seemed this nightmare would end up good, and everything would turn out ok…

Only one person was allowed to stay with him all day, except of some hours per day, where we visited as much as we could. Everything was really much better than all of us had expected. Max told us that a weight had been lifted of his chest, and he seemed to feel peaceful finally.

.

.

.

Kai finally appeared in the afternoon of Saturday.

**Kai's POV**

Max was sitting on the patient's bed, with an IV linked to his arm, framed with Kenny and Ray. All three of them looked up at me as I showed up on the doorway. Max's father was at the shop, while Judy was taking an overnight trip to America, to return the following morning.

The blond was as pale as I remembered him. His blue eyes widened as he saw me on the doorway and all three of them, stuck their eyes on me and stopped talking. After five whole minutes of awkward silence, Ray stood up and looked at Kenny.

"Chief, come on" he said.

The shorter looked at him and then at Max, not seeming too sure that he should go.

"Chief" ordered the neko-jii and finally the brown haired stood up. I saw him turning to Max and whispering something. The patient just nodded.

When they passed by me Ray gave me a serious look and a nod. Honestly I felt a little calmer. Like even a little bit I had been forgiven for what I had caused.

The door closed, leaving me alone with my former roommate.

"Hi, Max" I said calmly and took three steps forward, closing in to his bed.

His aqua eyeballs were still fixed at me. I stared straight at them, trying to figure out his feelings. I wasn't sure if he was mad at me. If he was sad to see me, or if he was even feeling something. Slowly his eyes traveled a bit lower, where the pendant he gave me hanged, and then back at my own eyes.

"Kai…" he finally spoke in a weak voice.

"I am sorry; I couldn't come till now…" I said looking away from his fragile figure.

"You couldn't or wouldn't?" he asked suddenly his tone turning fierce. I looked back at him, keeping my expression and position steady. Then he spoke again "Maybe you were too scared to face me after you betrayed me".

_Betrayed_

There are things that work to some people like poison. For me, betrayal is one of them. I felt my body twitching instinct at the sound of this word coming out of the younger's lips.

"I don't regret it" I told him, facing him like before.

"I know" he replied, as calmly "You did it for my own good… I realize that and, I want to thank you… I feel really calm right now, but…"

I looked at his eyes sideway, biting the inside of my lip, while my stomach though it would be a great idea to copy a beyblade and twist to the point where I felt like I wanted to throw up.

"I… Can't" he said seeming to struggle with himself to find the words "I don't want you here" he said frowning. I took a moment to examine his expression, and I could see so clearly that he felt like I had crossed him (which I obviously had). I turned my gaze to the feet of the bed. To be honest I expected worst, so I couldn't realize why words placed so tactfully, hurt me. I guess I passed too much time with this bunch of idiots and got softer.

"I can't face you right now. Please leave" he said. I noticed the end of his sentence getting shaky, as if his emotions were building up "And… Don't come here again" he said finally. This time the whole sentence was spelled out shakily.

I bit the inside of my lips and slowly nodded "I understand" I replied and moved to turn around. Midway I stopped and looked at the boy. His blue orbs were stuck on me, in a way I couldn't translate. Without thinking I closed the distance and stepped around Max's bed, his eyes following my every move in wonder. Once I was beside him I leaned close, pausing with my face inches away from him. I could hear his breath shakily being slowed down, as most of it was being held back. Once more our eyes stayed stuck to the others.

Slowly I lifted my head just lightly and rested my lips on the boy's forehead. Max closed his eyes, seeming to relax, still holding in his breath.

_I really have passed too much time with them…_

I withdrew after a while, listening to him release his breath with a faint sound. Gently I raised my hand and caressed from his cheek back to his hair and placed another light hiss on the top of his head.

"I'm sorry, ok?" I whispered. Max was curled close with his head half leaning on my chest. He didn't make any movement or sound as I brushed his bright locks "Get well soon" I said finally pushing back and met his gaze once more in close distance "I will see you in three months". Using my fingers I stroked some of his hair behind his ear and straightened my body up. I reached inside my bag and took out a thin rectangle packet, setting it on his bedside table.

"See you, Max" I said, eventually stepping out of the room, without realizing I had left Max in a daze, but I felt pretty mixed up myself, so I didn't let him talk, or gave any more time to myself to act. I was already acting weird.

On my way out I saw Kenny and Ray, but I walked past them without trading any words. They must have told me something, and actually I might even reply, but I can't recall it. By the nightfall I was back at my house.

Three months it was.

We all would wait for these months, for Max to be back in the team, and hopefully things would be back to normal. This is what I hoped. This is what we all hoped.

But none of us saw what was coming, until it happened.

**To be continued~**

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**Also Thanks to:** All those who read and enjoy this story and will actually keep up still! THANK YOU!

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_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_

_Enjoy the silence__ (c) Breaking Benjamin_


	13. Chapter 13: Without You

It's been more than a year guys... More than a fucking year. My school program was really fucked up this year. You know, I have had this chapter half written for months. It was hard to write, but it is a very important point that had to be written. I believe it's yet the longest chapter I have done, in hope that I can make up for the... Um... Lack of content, since there aren't a lot of important happenings? My writting is off, but I hope it is ok. I am sorry for the wait... Please (those who actually will read this!) enjoy!

Tracked word on tumblr: kaimax

**A/N: English is not my mother language, so be polite with my grammar, dictionary mistakes and lack of variety in words. **

**Warnings: Boy love references.**

**Disclamer in the ending**

**Break My Fall**

**Chapter twelve  
**

**__****Without you  
**

_"No"_

_"Come on, why not!?"_

_"Rafael, I said no. I am not interested; leave me alone, will you?"_

_"Oh come on. Please?! Just ten minutes what do you have to lose!?"_

_"My time"_

_"Please. Why are you being so difficult? Just cut and draw three!"_

_Kai sighed and sat on the floor opposite Rafael giving in to the other's request. He glanced his step brother's new Tarot Deck, which the other was devoted to use on Kai first thing. Finally the dual color haired cut the deck as instructed and picked three cards, which Rafael placed face down in front of them._

_"Ok, let's see" exclaimed enthusiastically the silver haired, while the other felt sort of embarrassed being at this position._

_Finally Rafael smiled calmly, actually imitating the intoxicated expression of a medium that knows too much and finally flipped over the first card._

_"The Hanged Man"_

_/\/\/\/\_

**Kai's POV**

The three months of Max's hospitalization went by faster than I had expected. The doctors said that he would be coming out on Saturday morning and that week seemed to slow down, for the months that went by fast. The days passed painfully slow in the expectance of Max's discharge note.

Within those months many things happened, but none of them seemed really big.

I was visiting Max at least twice per week for the first two months, but I always stayed outside, in case to respect his choice not to have me there. I passed time with Ray and the others in the waiting room (mainly with Ray. The others seemed awkward with me). They filled me on his condition, and occasionally Ray would ask me to go inside and see him, thing I only did twice, while he was asleep.

Judy was coming and going to America all the time. The members of the team would keep Max company in the meantime, until she returned within the next 24 hours. Honestly, until then I wasn't sure she was devoted as a mother, but obviously she was. Meanwhile Max's father starting opening the shop once more, after a whole month that it was closed off so he could stay beside his son, and was coming every afternoon after he closed off the shop, and stayed all Sunday beside him.

In the last month I barely even visited, while I was having the last visits to get rid of the blue triangles on my face (which finally disappeared completely). I was also escorting my grandfather in galas and stuff like that, as well as being present at works of the company, now and then. As I had promised him.

I had also managed to get over my guilt. I knew if Max was blaming me again, I would probably be affected, but now he was going well. He was out of danger and soon he would be out of there too. Things were finally going well and I was getting some peace of mind. Even Susumu didn't bother me much. I don't even need to mention that I was doing fine with my school. The final results had come out recently, and I was done with this too. Finally time to take it easy...

_/\_

"He's been pretty lively the last week. I think his upcoming discharge is getting him a little excited. You should have seen him. Two days ago, he and Tyson started a pillow fight in the room. The nurses had to ask Tyson to leave"

I chuckled "I can imagine it. He should be thankful they didn't actually kick him out"

Ray smiled soft, sitting cross-legged on the grass beside me. He had brought us both coffee and some home-made snacks he ate himself mostly. We were sitting near the usual river that passed under the bridge. The weather was still a bit chilly, but it was already spring.

"It's good to see Max being cheerful once more" he stated and passed me one of the muffins he had baked, which I thought of denying, but considering how touchy he gets sometimes when people say no to his cooking, I took it anyway.

"I bet it is" I replied lowly and rolled the desert in my hand, my mind elsewhere. I wished I could have seen Max laugh, but I wasn't sure he would be able to, if I was around.

Ray's eyes were fixed on me, as if he was trying to read my thoughts. I didn't think my thoughts were actually too difficult to guess anymore. Sadly, I had become very obvious.

"Please tell me you haven't fallen as low as going through self pity" he remarked with a tone of sarcasm and annoyance.

I looked up at him, giving him one annoyed look on my own "I don't do self pity".

Ray snickered and sat back more comfortably.

"Good"

I sighed low and lay back on the grass.

"You have fixed your schedule for Saturday, right?"

I nodded and gazed at him looking pretty bored.

As I already mentioned, I had passed the last months, acting like a good grandson, and an even better heir. My grandfather made sure to take advantage of my willingness, and we had somewhere to go at least once every week, and he had introduced me to much more people than my 'social skills' could handle, but I bared it, because he was understanding. Most people wouldn't think he is, but in fact he has done many steps back for my own comfort, so we have reached a middle point where we can benefit each other without things getting out of hand for either.

The reason I am mentioning this is because the moment I had learned the date of Max's discharge, I had made sure to talk it out with my grandfather and clean my schedule from that day and for a while after. I had kept my promise to not visit Max while he was at the rehab, but I also told him I would see him in three months. So I would definitely be present when he was coming out finally.

"I will wait you to go together, ok?"

I nodded once more and sat up again. I lifted my coffee and finished it.

"Will you stop talking already? You are giving me a headache" he said ironically once again.

I rolled my eyes and smirked at him "Shouldn't that be my line"

"I'm trying to make a conversation! You are more silent and bored than usual. And you know the worst part? You still haven't eaten my muffin" he pouted and stuffed his mouth with one, turning his gaze ahead over the river.

Chuckling, I started eating my own "Have you warned him that I'll be there?"

The raven haired nodded "Aha. I think he was happy to hear it. Even if he was struggling to hide it. He has been asking for you occasionally. Never in front of the others, but he has asked me. How you are doing, if you are well and all…" he turned to me once more. I met his eyes waiting, since he seemed to want to say something. When he talked I wasn't sure if this was what he meant to say before "I think he wanted to ask if you are asking about him too"

I turned forward watching the lake, while unconsciously my free hand dug under my scarf to play with my pendant "Did he imply that?" I viewed him again sideways.

"Not exactly. But you know it's this feeling… That he has something to ask but never does. You know it?"

I shrugged "I guess" there was a short pause "Since you mentioned the others, have they said anything about me? I hardly see them anymore. I never find them at the dojo"

"They usually visit Max after school. And it's not exactly one step away. They spend a lot of time coming and going" he responded, while digging through his bag for any other deserts.

"Hilary and Tyson?" It wasn't meant as a fish out of gossip. Just curiosity. Last time I had seen them they were officially together, and doing well. As far as I was concerned, Hilary wasn't visiting Max as much as the others, both because her parents were concerned and because she felt like she wasn't as close to Max as the others, and didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. But still, she visited him every now and then, always with something to give (luckily for him, she didn't bring homework, like she had done when Tyson was in the hospital).

"Oh, right. I forgot to mention that in Tyson's schedule she is always included… You know, I never thought that she wouldn't be a whiny about her boyfriend not giving her so much time. But she is very open" he said with obvious amusement in his voice.

"It's natural. The condition is serious, why would she complain?"

Ray shrugged.

My lips curved up a little cheekily "Does Mariah complain?"

His face took the same colour of his headband and he looked away embarrassed "It's a long distance and all… You know. Naturally she is concerned"

I pouted honestly "Haven't you explained her?"

"Not everything" he groaned "I mean, the matter is personal for Max. I only told her that he is sick. I hardly managed to convince her not to come over to check it out" he concluded with a grimace.

"She thinks you are cheating on her" it wasn't a question. More like a statement.

"Cheating, lying, hiding" he shrugged "It's all the same. I think she is just worried in general… Either way, I won't tell her what's really happening"

"You think she will tell it around?" I asked.

"No… I… I don't know. No. She wouldn't say it around. But Lee can be very persistent. So she is more likely to don't have him over her head if I don't tell her" he finished with a pouty sigh.

I smiled soft and he kept his gaze away, still looking embarrassed.

"Anyway" he said finally and stood up "In a while the others will be done with school, and we'll go see Max" he announced.

"Alright. I'll see you on Saturday"

He smiled, dropping his bag over his shoulder and nodded "Take care". With that he took off. I watched him as he climbed up to the roadway, tactfully pulling out his mobile phone. I chuckled, completely sure that he was texting Mariah.

**Max's POV**

_'What does that mean—tame?'_

_'It's an act too often neglected," said the fox. 'It means to establish ties.'_

_'To establish ties?'_

_'Just that' said the fox. 'To me, you're still nothing more than a little boy who's just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I'm nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you'll be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world …'_

I looked up from the book as one of the nurses (her name I knew anymore was Kieli) walked inside with my lunch. She beamed warmly and approached.

"How are you doing, Max?" she asked sweetly and unfolded the table to rest the tray upon.

"I am well, thank you" I smiled back at her and closed the book, leaving it next to my pillow, crawling to the edge of the bed hurriedly to start eating "Whoa, spaghetti. Me likey" I giggled curling my toes and swung my feet under the table, while I took advantage from the sauce on the bowl next to my dish, and covered the spaghetti fully.

Kieli chuckled and inspected the room "How come no one is here? This room is rarely empty" she commented and looked at me. I knew very well that many of the residents of this 'hospital' were alone here. And many of them were also very difficult to cope with, while I was submissive.

"My mother went to get me something sweet, and my friends aren't done with school yet. My dad is at the shop still" I replied while mixing up the macaroni with the sauce.

The woman smiled and dragged a chair close, taking a seat close to the bed, to keep me company, and wait to take the tray away once I was done. She watched me with a motherly gentleness, and wonder. I knew of that. She like many other people were wondering how had someone like me had ended up here. I was certainly different from most residents. I mean, they had seen before people that wouldn't fill your eye for druggies, but my childish behavior didn't exactly give out anything. I was a mystery for the doctors that took the time to wonder why, except helping me get over it.

Kieli was one of the very tactful nurses. She never asked me, although I knew she was also wondering. I wouldn't have minded the question though. I was used to my condition. I had accepted and recognized the treatment of the others, and I considered myself extremely lucky, because I was very kindly treated and had too many people beside me. So, whenever someone talked to me openly or asked me openly about something concerning my condition I would reply normally.

There was only one thing that never ceased to bother and upset me. The one thing everyone wondered. That 'why'. When people asked me, I would tell them the truth 'I don't remember'. But it was that truth that was killing me. I mean, memories like that don't just vanish. But whenever I attempted to remember I was getting an unbearable headache, as if my mind had locked this out. As if it was forbidden. But I needed to know… I knew myself back then. Never had it even occurred to me to consider drug use. And I ended up really deep and now here I was.

But this nightmare had ended. I was already clean, and I would be out of the hospital as well, the day after tomorrow. When I was talking with my dad, he believed that I had indeed forgotten what had lead me to drugs, but when I told him that my struggles to remember turned out pretty ugly, he told me this was probably a sign that I should drop it. Forget all about it and move on. That maybe that memory had to stay locked away for my own good. He was curious too though. I could see that. Everyone were and most of all, I. I really needed to know, even if it meant I was opening 'Pandora's box'.

"You are reading 'The Little Prince' again".

I looked up snapping back to reality, and followed her gaze which had landed on the book beside my pillow. I smiled lightly and nodded.

"It's an admirable book" she said with a soft grin.

"It is" I agreed with a smile "I really like it" my smile saddened a bit in a nostalgic way. The Little Prince was the book Kai had brought me the last time I had seen him, about three months ago. He had mentioned that he could give it to me when we would be back home, when we were still in the hotel…

I remember it clearly… I had told him that he reminded me of Snape from Harry Potter, and he was looking at me weirdly, but didn't comment on it. Then I asked him which fictional character I reminded him of. He was caught completely off guard, and took a while in considering it. In the end he told me 'Um… I don't know… The Little Prince?'

I god mixed feelings since I had heard of the book many times, it's a quite known piece of literature after all, but I had only read it when I was a child, and hardly remembered a thing. At that point he had pulled a face and said that I should read it, and he said he could give it to me if I wanted to. We let it pass since then and didn't mention it again, until he left it to me that day.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" asked the woman with a concerned look at my saddened expression. I blinked once more returning to reality and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Yea, I am alright, don't worry"

She watched me worried for a while, but I got away from it with diving in my food, soon leaving nothing of it. It was amazing to be able to eat, while tasting all of your food completely, and having no need to throw up afterward. It had been over two weeks that I was that healthy, but I couldn't stop appreciating what I had been missing.

Kieli smiled as it seemed my mood was back up, and stood up; taking my leftovers "Would you like me to say till someone is here for you?"

I shook my head and shifted back on the bed "No, I am well. Thank you for the company" I responded politely. She nodded and folded the table once more, before taking her leave, after greeting me off once more.

I lay back sighing and lifted the book once more, examining the cover. It was a hardcover edition, kept in a very good condition, although it wasn't new. The pages had a faint yellow colour and some pages were folded here and there. It must have been quite old, but the cover wasn't torn, and all the pages were intact. None seeming that it will fall off.

Kai had left me a note in the pack it was wrapped in, apologizing that it was his own copy, but he hadn't got the time to buy me a new one, and reminding me that this was the character I made him think of.

I had read the book more than ten times already, and I admit I seriously adored it. I couldn't see though whatever I had in common with the Little Prince. I didn't find any similarities. Unless it was because he is a child, and Kai also sees me as a child, which isn't much flattering if you think what I feel for him. Except of that, the only thing we might have in common was the blonde hair.

Leaving that aside. If you have ever opened a book, previously owned by a bookworm, or just something of such sort, you must have noticed that they keep notes here and there. The biggest proof of the age of the book was that. Tactfully with small letters of black ink, there were notes, spread around the pages, and some of the lines were highlighted or underlined. I couldn't understand them, because, apart from the fact that they were microscopic, they were in a foreign language. At first I thought it would be Russian, but Russian letters aren't like that. From some words I could make out, they were more like Italian, or Spanish (I always confuse those two languages).

Once more I sighed and rested the book in my chest, wrapping arms around it and staring the ceiling. I really missed Kai. I was more than grateful anymore for what he did for me. I could see it soon after I was taking here, that he cared for me. Actually I knew that instantly, but still I couldn't help feeling hurt, and the horror I had lived when my parents had found out was unthinkable. But no one turned his back to me, my parents and all of my friends were always by my side. None of them was judging me… I was so happy. I had honestly thought back then that I will probably never be as happy again. But here I was…

I lifted the book a little and kissed the cover, closing by eyes. The pages still gave out the smell of paper, and it was wonderful. I remembered smelling paper while I shared a room with Kai too. He always brought me books to occupy me, and he read a lot too. And it seems he didn't stop. The Little Prince had been keeping me hopeful at difficult times, because not all my days were nice in this place. The first month especially was a real nightmare… But I pulled through…

Ray was telling me that Kai was doing well, and maybe it was just me, but the way he said some things, it sounded like Kai was coming over a lot also. I hadn't seen him. I mean, I had told him not to come, alright. But that doesn't mean I can't miss him… But it seemed like he would listen to me this time and not come… I admit it. I wasn't too happy for this. I was ok the first month. The second I started to miss him, and now I terribly missed him, and I don't even know how I will react when I see him on Saturday!

With a pout I once more watched the ceiling in silence, with the book under my nose. I didn't have the time to think of how he viewed me as more than a friend, since our friendship was currently in danger with all that, but I want him in my life, and I don't mind how it will be. Just be there… I guess…

I groaned and hit my legs on the bed annoyed, realizing I was acting like an actual fan girl, or schoolgirl in love and my thoughts made completely no sense, all mixed up like that. Not to mention I was turning too… Namby-Pamby.

I chuckled and rolled over, sitting up on my knees. I was surely pretty hyper, and counting the hours. I glanced at the clock on the wall, and calculated that my teammates would be there soon. My mom was a bit late, but knowing her, she was probably talking on the phone with Emily and others for work. I didn't mind that. She had made such a huge effort to be with me all this time. I could see how much she was tiring herself, so I had told her she doesn't have to dash around all the time and that I was better. Although she didn't lighten her schedule much, she seemed to be getting more sleep.

My head perked around as I heard a knock on the door. I assumed it was my friends at first, but they were never so quiet.

"Come in" I responded and shifted myself around to face the door properly.

"Hello, Max" it was my doctor. Good man, generally he was laid back and treated me nicely. He smiled softly at me and stepped inside.

"Hello, doctor" I replied smiling.

"I see you continue to be well, I am glad"

I grinned prudishly "It's thanks to you!"

He chuckled "I was just doing my job"

"I didn't expect you today"

"Yes, I wasn't going to come, but there has been some change in plans, and I had to come and inform you"

I watched him getting slightly worried.

_/\/\/\__/\/\/\_

_"What does that mean?" Kai raised his eyebrow looking at the card, with the man hanging upside down._

_"Well" Rafael started and looked at the card himself thoughtfully "It is upright. Upright hanged man signalizes devotion to a worthwhile cause. Temporary suspension of progress… Flexibility of mind and a willingness to adapt to changes, this is quite clear I don't have to explain it" he shrugged "Sacrifice in the present to reap benefit in the future. In other words you will probably have to give up on something and there will be a waiting period. Rebirth. Rebirth can have a lot of meanings. It can be physical rebirth from something, like an illness for example, or inspirational rebirth. Well, you have a Phoenix on your beyblade; you know what rebirth is" he flipped the card between his fingers thoughtfully "Sacrificing one thing to obtain another, that's the same thing with before... Transformation, this can also sometimes is blended with rebirth. Circumstances literally turned on their heads… Maybe that means plot twist" with that he turned his eyes back to the blue haired. _

_Kai watched him like 'seriously?', even if the white haired seemed extremely convinced that his prediction actually meant something, the other didn't even consider it "Really…" he replied monotonously "It means all that"_

_"Oh, yes it does. And you should take it into serious consideration, dear brother. This is serious matter"_

_"Are you sure you even know how to read these things?" Kai asked arrogantly, resting self back, supporting his weight on his hands._

_"Of course I do!"_

_Once more the dual haired rolled his eyes "Ok, get it over with so I can go on with my life"_

_Rafael lifted finally the second card, taking once more the mysterious wanabe look._

_"The Lovers"_

___/\/\/\_

**Kai's POV**

"Is that really necessary?" It was already afternoon, and I was standing still with my arms stretched for more than an hour. Apparently, with all the galas going on, Rafael was worried that I shouldn't get seen wearing the same suit twice. But he also wanted to make sure that I wouldn't happen to wear the same with some random guy at the gala tomorrow. So he decided to make the suit for me himself, while modifying a few of my older ones.

"Yes it is definitely necessary" he answered sourly "And don't you dare move, you will ruin everything and we don't have time for me to make it from the beginning" with that he added another needle on my sleeve.

I let out a loud sigh, which caused him to glare me. I was about to ask if I wasn't even allowed to breath, but It seemed like I would just be throwing oil in the fire. So I decided to make another question that has been bothering me "Why is it important to not wear the same thing? This suits are expensive Rafael, where is the problem if I wear them twice? Not to mention I really don't care. And most importantly, who do you think will notice!?"

"You have attended so many high society meetings lately, that it is too soon to re-wear something you wore before" he groaned and kneeled beside me, fixing the top around my waist, and measuring the tail "And you are so silly. High leveled people are all about looks. And with all the cameras, can you imagine being seen twice in the same suit? Shame. After all your grandfather told me this one is very important, since the heads of some of the biggest companies would be present".

I twitched and grimaced as for a hundredth time he 'accidentally' pinched me with one of the needles. Knowing my brother he didn't have the best opinion for rich people, but he sure seemed to have them researched quite enough. I must admit that thanks to him, I was always giving out a good image, even when my behavior didn't come out as good as I wanted. Regardless our relation, he acted like the best butler.

"Ok, but… Why are we doing this in the last minute?"

"I will have it perfectly ready till tomorrow don't you worry. And don't complain to me. Complain to your tailor, it was hideous" Rafael growled and kneeled in front of me, checking out the buttons this time, and it seemed he wasn't too satisfied, since he dragged the box with the sewing tools from beside and started trying different ones.

"I didn't even see what he made" I replied honestly.

"Good for you" Rafael spat and his wolf ears perked up as it seemed he finally found the one that he liked and pinched it on the cloth with another needle after cutting off the previous ones "You escaped from a really terrible sight. I didn't mind the bow tie, but how could he even think that maroon would suit you!? You would be looking like a walking vegetable with blue topping"

He was right. That choice of color was definitely a bad idea. Sure it was 'in fashion' and I wouldn't be the only one wearing it even in a high society meeting, but it wouldn't suit me. I was glad at times like that that I had Rafael pick out my clothes when it came to such occasions.

I looked down at Rafael who stood up and helped me take the jacket and shirt off "I think we are done" he said and carefully folded it over his arm, so nothing will fall off and gave me a warm smile. I knew he expected to get praised; his tail was even swinging impatiently.

"Finally, thank you. I bet it will look perfect" I replied and groaned lightly, as I lowered my arms, which were aching from the position I had been keeping them. I rubbed my shoulders sighing.

Rafael beamed happily and picked his stuff "I will have it ready till tomorrow. Once I get you ready, tidy dressed and fix your hair I will take my leave"

"What? Already?" I turned and looked at him slightly frowning, while putting on my shirt.

"What do you mean 'already'?" he replied, closing the lid of the sewing box "I remind you my mom has entered her month. Richard has work at the University, and Nazo is watching over her. Someone needs to look after the shop. Not to mention I wanna be there when the baby is born" he lifted the box watching me "I was gonna wait for you to come with me after the gala, but you said you want to come after the weekend. But I can't wait anymore. You won't have any more need for my assistance for a while anyway…"

I sighed watching him frowned "Two days isn't a big deal. Why don't you stay?"

"Why don't YOU come?" Rafael had also frowned now. I knew very well he was mad at me for not accompanying him to Pasadena. I was going to go as well, since I was finally getting free time, and I also wanted to be present at my sister's birth. But I didn't want to go right away. I had to see Max on Saturday, and maybe stay another day with him and the others hopefully to put things right.

"What is so important that is keeping you here…?" he asked tiredly.

Because of the delicacy of the situation Max was in, I hadn't shared the full story with him, but he wasn't stupid, so I had to withhold even more things, to keep him out.

"I told you I have something to do…"

The white haired groaned and rolled his eyes "Fine. Be that way. But if you aren't in America till Monday, I will… I will… UGH! Don't upset mom, ok? Be there" with that he turned and stormed out. I smiled weakly, knowing that he wanted to say something to the likes of 'I will not forgive you' or something. But we both knew there was no such possibility between us.

I cleaned my clothes and made sure there were no needles left anywhere on me and stepped out of the room, heading up to my own. It was really a very silent evening, and the mansion was also quiet enough for me to hear my own steps in the hall.

Stepping in my room I found Elektra laid on the desk, where my phone previously was, and I guessed it had probably rang and bothered her, so she thought she could just throw it off and make it stop. I was right for the matter, since I found it under my desk, with the battery out (it was one of the times I was glad I hadn't chosen to have an iphone because now it would have been broken). I picked it and placed it back together, as I opened it, it seems that my dear cat had been bothered more than once. I had about ten calls and zero messages. Usually that meant without checking that it was Ray, because he rarely ever texted me. He was the slowest writer of phone in the world.

I got sort of worried that I had so many calls, and it seemed that the first one was three hours ago (I was eating then, and after that I was dragged to be a mannequin doll), and the last one was half an hour ago, which was probably when Elektra had enough of this and threw the phone away.

Naturally I was proven right, and it was indeed Ray who had been calling me, I was about to call him back when he called again. Elektra raised her head sleepily and looked disapprovingly at the source of the sound. I reached and pet het head, clicking the answer at the same time "Hey. I was about to call you" I said. The cat lifted herself from the desk and jumped in my lap lazily, curling there and closing her eyes once more. I proceed on caressing her fur.

"Finally, Kai! What the hell! Do you know how many times I called you? Not only do you not pick up. But then you turn it off. Well fuc-"

"Ray!" I exclaimed, making him stop, while holding the phone in a safe distance from my ear, bringing it back to it once he had stopped. He sure sounded pissed "I am sorry. I had forgotten it in my room. I was busy. And then my cat turned threw it on the floor"

"Seriously now?"

"If I was going to lie, don't you think I would have come up with something smarter?" I pet behind Elektra's head, and she gave me a massage with her purring.

"You would" he seemed to be calming down now.

"So, why the big fuss. You went through the trouble to call me all these times, so it must be important" I rest my back against the chair's back and twirled the chair a bit, looking around my room.

"Yes, of course" he sighed "I was calling you since I was in the hospital, now we are back in the dojo. It seems Max's doctor needs to go tomorrow evening, some work, I don't even know. So it seems Max will be getting out tomorrow afternoon instead of Saturday morning"

You know there are things that seem so unimportant on the outside, but then to you, they twist up everything? Well, that was one of those times for me. I had frozen in place with my eyes widening, while I was trying to understand if I had heard wrong.

"I was trying to tell you sooner in case you could fix your schedule but… I guess it wouldn't have made big difference… Kai…?" my friend sounded concerned from the other side of the phone. I would be lying if I said Ray wasn't the most understanding toward me in the team. And I knew that even if I told him I can't come he would understand it… But what about Max…?

"Kai, you there?" he repeated.

I took a shaky breath returning to reality and replied "Yes, I heard…" my free hand started playing with Elektra's tail out of stress

"What are you gonna do?" he asked softly.

I shook my head "I don't know… I will see. I will call you back and tell you, ok?"

There was a little pause "…Alright. I will cover for you if you can't come" he reassured me, probably already fixing up his speech in his head.

I nodded even if he couldn't see me, which I realized fast and spoke "Thank you… I will tell you later, ok?"

"Ok. Take care, we'll talk later. Goodnight"

"Goodnight" I spoke tiredly and hanged up. With a soft sigh I rested my phone on my lips, thinking hardly. I knew very well the gala we had to attend tomorrow was very important, and my grandfather surely had informed people that I would be escorting him… I couldn't abandon him like that in the last minute… But he had promised Max he would see him… Well, he could always go over on the morning of Saturday and see him with the others… But...

I was roughly shaken back to reality with Elektra making a loud pained sound and jumped from my lap. I figured I had accidentally twisted her tail while I was thinking.

"Ow, I am sorry girl…" I sighed and let the mobile phone on the desk, crouching down to apologize to her, but she seemed pretty mad and had gone as far under my bed as she could.

I watched her for a moment tiredly and then realized I couldn't deal with that right now and rolled myself on the bed, laying on my back and resting my arm over my eyes. I stayed like this for a while, until Elektra decided she forgave me and climbed on my chest which thankfully soothed me a bit. I lowered my arm and started stroking her fur once more, while I was thinking, although I had already made up my mind…

It was half past ten when Rafael came to check on me. He was covered with threads and had a pair of thimbles on his thumbs. I was still laid in bed with my cat making sure she was always in my sight perimeter. I looked at the side at him and he watched me curiously.

"Are you sleeping?"

I swear I never understand this question. When I am sleeping, I can't reply to it and if I am not, he should be able to see it. Like now for example, I looked at him!

"No, just resting" I mumbled anyway.

"Is everything alright? I heard your cat scream about an hour ago, but I was busy and didn't come to check what happened"

I chuckled anyway "If something had happened it would have been a bit late you know"

He shrugged "If you had screamed I would have come. It was the cat though, and for a moment thought that maybe you were taking the word 'girlfriend' for your cat too seriously, and didn't want to bother"

"Ugh! Rafael for god's sake!" I sat up, carefully holding Elektra so she wouldn't fall off "What the hell is wrong with you! I can't believe it" to be honest I was between disgust and laughing, because I didn't know how seriously he had considered that I had turned to bestiality "How is my suit going?" I asked, not really caring, but I had to distract myself, while I watched him from top to bottom. He looked like he had just stepped through a spider web.

"It's doing fine" he replied "But, are you fine? You seem a little… Off?" he raised his eyebrows.

I watched him pouting, and since I really needed to get it out "The important thing I had to do…" I sighed "It got transferred to tomorrow" I dropped my head to the side staring at him.

He was still standing in the doorway. At my remark he straightened himself, stepping inside fully, with one hand on the doorframe still "So, now I don't need to hurry the suit, huh? The next formal occasion won't be anytime close, right?" he questioned innocently.

I gave him a weak smile, because I knew he was straightway implying that I will choose what is important for me and not for my grandfather "No, you make it. There is no change of plans in that" I told him.

He furrowed his eyebrows annoyed, glaring at me coldly "Are you serious? You postponed coming to America for this. And you won't even do it?"

I sighed and looked at him seriously "This is the last meeting my grandfather has asked me to be present to. I can't cross him, Rafael"

My step brother opened his mouth seeming that he was going to yell at me, but once he saw how serious I was he stopped and averted his eyes from me frowning. Even if we both liked to act like it wasn't a fact, it was indeed true that I was going to inherit a huge company, and I had responsibilities. Sometimes sacrificing something acting how the others expect you to is needed. I knew that I was crossing Max like this. But it was the last thing I would have to do for Voltaire in a while. It was my duty, and I had to act according to what I would be in the future.

_I remember my place._

"Why don't you tell Voltaire? He might understand…" he asked defeated, leaning against the wall beside the door.

"It's alright. I will find a way to put things right" I wasn't really sure about this. But then again, I wouldn't like to skip one of my responsibilities or take advantage of any weakness my grandfather had for me "Don't worry, ok?"

"I guess you are still not coming tomorrow. Which now makes even more sense, since you will need more time" he groaned "Be that way. Goodnight, Nicky" he said and walked out, after I wished him goodnight as well.

I didn't bother to change after that; I simply rolled under the blanket, with Elektra beside me and fell asleep almost instantly, after texting Ray (luckily he knew how to read texts, unlike writing them).

**Ray's POV**

I saw Kai's text the following morning.

'I can't come. You don't have to tell him anything because I will sound like a real coward. I will see him on Saturday. Watch out for him' it said. I placed the phone in my pocket and sat up. Tyson was at school, so it was pretty quiet at the dojo, except of grandfather who was letting out battle screams with his wooden sword. I was sitting on the wooden veranda. I was bored and surely not in the mood to beyblade. Hiroshi had a laptop, and was sitting on it most time of the day. He was keeping me company sometimes, but usually he just sat like that.

I stood up and started heading to the other's school, to pick them up and then go altogether to see Max. I huffed while I was thinking how these three months had proceeded for the two of them.

I have been perfectly aware of Max's feelings for Kai for a while now, and I wasn't very sure as to why he shoo-ed him away at the first place, since he obviously missed him terribly. I hadn't realized the extent of his crush to be honest, but now I was pretty sure it was more than a simple crush. I think I was the only one that had figured it out at that point (unless if the know it all grandpa had grasped it as well), but it was natural since we had more important things to think of than Max's sexual orientation. Well the others at least had better things to think of, but I was in the middle.

I am not whining, I knew neither of them wanted to cause trouble, and I was trying to keep things in a line. Not sure what sort of line I need to keep things on though, since I didn't know everything and I was always left assuming, and trying to act according to that.

Since I mentioned Max's feelings, I guess I should also comment on Kai in these past months, regarding Max.

I didn't have very big experience on romance, and Kai doesn't show much feeling, but if I had to say, he surely seems to care for Max too much, and I was not sure he isn't actually returning Max's feelings... Although he probably hasn't been aware of it. Or I am imagining things… But I was getting this feeling that when it came to Max, Kai was getting a softer look, and his voice was lowering. I couldn't pinpoint if it was out of attachment or maybe he still felt guilty. I hopped not.

I will be honest, I was worried about the future of the team if a romance like that was coming up, and it would probably be a bit awkward in the company. But then again we already had one couple. How worst could it possibly be? Not to mention lately it seemed like beyblade was the last thing in everyone's mind, even in mine. And to be honest, a break was never bad. We had times that we sat and trained with the others, but we can say these months had been extremely lazy on the matter. I guess without Kai's ordering around we got laid back, or maybe the absence was strong, or the place and time were never suitable.

Who knows?

As I was reaching the school gates a familiar greenish light blue haired person came in sight. He was sitting with his back on the school's railing, on the stone fence under it. It had been a while I hadn't seen him, and it seemed like school wasn't out yet. I stepped close and greeted him.

"Hello, Zeo" I said with a soft smile "Watch's up?"

The android raised his eyes from his laptop and returned a wide eager grin "Hey! Ray. It's good to see you" he said and motioned for me to sit beside him. Of course he hadn't grown since I last saw him, but he had changed quite a bit. It was normal of course after all he had been through. His outfit gave out the high social status of his parent, although he had stylized his outfit so it would just look like a sense of fashion, rather than showing off that he is rich. His hair was cut in shoulder length and in my opinion it looked better. His laptop had a beautiful leather black case, decorated with notes and a violin. As instructed I sat beside him and glanced at his screen, not really out of curiosity, I hadn't meant to, but I guess it was actually subconscious curiosity. It seemed like he was logged into some chat-room.

He chuckled and turned the screen toward me, and gave me a short explanation about how it was a chat room about beyblade and all. I saw some weird names such as OzInWonderland, PinkKumagoro and NoahKaiba13, but soon he closed the lid to give me his full attention and I didn't read what they were talking about. To be honest I didn't know too much about computers either, but lately Hiro had showed me a few things at times of huge boredom.

"So" I started "What are you doing here?" I asked "Are you waiting for Tyson?" I recalled how Zeo was obsessed with Tyson before the disasters had started. He was a seriously devoted fan-boy, but since the incidents that had taken place in that tournament I hadn't seen him around any of us at all.

Turning front and lowering his eyes, looking ahead with a gentle smile he said "No". I blinked and watched him curiously. He turned to me once more, his smile brightening to a grin "I came for Kenny" he said.

"Chief?" I asked before I could stop myself "How come?" well, I could guess that Chief could be very useful in beyblade matters, and Zeo supposedly wanted to be good at it, so I asked if he needed some help in that matter, since I could help him as well probably. He shook his head.

"We'll go get a video game that came out this week, and grab something to eat" he said.

It seemed pretty planned out. When had they talked about this? And today from all days? I tilted my head, wandering if Zeo was going back to his old habits by dragging people into matters without asking "Does he know this? Because today we have some important things to take care of"

Zeo pouted and looked at me almost insulted "Of course he knows it. We had planned it weeks now" he said, and then it occurred to me that maybe chief hadn't informed him about the change of plans. As if he read my mind he continued talking.

"Don't worry" he smiled brightly "I won't keep him too long and I will drop him by the hospital on my way home" he straightened up, with his hands resting on his closed laptop.

Once more I was left to stare at him in wonder. He was so greatly informed. Had I missed something? When were they even talking? I didn't even know that Kenny had friends outside of the team, or did any activities we weren't aware of.

I felt like an idiot.

Of course he would.

But still when was he talking with Chief? I eyed the laptop. Naturally, where was my head? They were speaking online. This made sense. Kenny passed his day over a laptop as well.

"How is Tyson's and Hillary's relationship by the way?" he spoke once more, although with a slight hesitation on his voice. Was that what he and Chief did while they talked online? Gossip?

I shrugged "They are doing well… Well, you know how couples are the first months of their relationship especially" I replied pouting, slightly missing my own girl.

He beamed sweetly "I have no idea, actually" he looked ahead once more, and we stayed quiet for a moment in an awkward silence. I regarded him, and spoke what had been bothering me for a while now "How much has he Kenny told you?"

The shiny cyan eyes turned to me, normally questioning what I was referring to, but very fast it seemed like he figured it out without the need of any help "About Max?" he asked and shrugged "Not much, really" he reassured me "I just know that he is coming out tonight and all of you will be there"

_Not all of us…_

I nodded and stood up; stretching and watched the door of the school building "Will you come to the hospital with Kenny?" I looked down at him carelessly once more with my hands resting behind my head.

"I think this is quite personal moment. I don't recon an outsider like me feats" he stated. I wasn't sure Max would mind if there were more people, and he was also known to be extremely friendly and social. I am sure he would also be glad to see an old friend once more as well, but thinking of how I would have to break the news about Kai to him I figured that maybe keeping things in personal circle would be nice. But I shouldn't sound rude.

"I don't think Max would mind, but suit yourself" I placed my hands in my pockets and watched the school impatiently. Finally the bell rang.

Zeo rose from the fence and placed the laptop on his folder bag, and we both watched as the students started coming out as if it had caught fire. How much the love school! Weirdly enough Kenny came out before Tyson, and the said male followed after a while with Hilary walking beside him, holding hands. I caught the android averting his eyes from the sight of the pair, as tactfully as he could, and lifted his eyes once more as soon as Chief was at the gate, and his face brightened up once more.

"Hey, Zeo" exclaimed happily Kenny "Finally seeing you in person again. Have you been waiting too long?"

"No worries! I had the laptop and Ray kept me company" Zeo informed him and they both looked up as the 'sweet couple' arrived. Both Tyson and Hilary were quite delighted to see the boy, and Zeo was being kind and sweet. It took me a while to realize that even if his body was the same he had matured a lot, and his manners were catching up with his family status. I could imagine him being the charming son of a businessman when he would need to.

"Nice hair! Suits you better, even if it's still a wild mane" commented Tyson with a teasing grin. I was certain that if I was possible, a blush would have formed onto Zeo's face along with the bright smile.

"And you lost the cap! It was about time, or you would lose your hair" teased Zeo in return, his smile still as bright as possible from Tyson's 'compliment'.

As I stood there, and even if they showed a childish side to each other with soft teases and hair ruffles, I came to realize that they had all matured up. Even Tyson, with his silly grin and his arm around Zeo's shoulders as they joked gave a different feeling. It wasn't negative feeling. Just different. I could still see the fan-boy in Zeo as Tyson held him, and it was as if he could just stay there watching and being around him forever and he would be happy. But that was part of Zeo's mature nature. He wasn't forcing himself on anyone anymore, and he was being tactful and kind, treating Hilary respectfully even if he was probably jealous of how close she was to Tyson.

"So, I'll see you at the hospital in the afternoon, guys" exclaimed finally Chief once they were done goofing around.

"Ok, don't be late alright?" Tyson replied, with a cheeky grin.

"Don't worry. I have things to do as well, so I will bring him over in time" replied Zeo grinning back, as wide as the champion and we all said our goodbyes for now, waving off as Kenny walked off with Zeo, already chatting about video games. I hadn't considered that till then, but it seemed I was left with the pairing, and we were going to leave her at her house.

I was extremely thankful that they both made sure that the short trip wasn't awkward for me on the way to Hilary's place. We chatted lively about the lessons, and time passed fast. I rewarded them for not getting mushy on the way, by leaving them alone and waited for Tyson at the end of the street, so he could see her off properly. After ten minutes he caught up with me and we started walking toward the bus stop.

"Did you know that Zeo would come to take Chief?" I asked him.

"Yes, he told me earlier, during the lesson when I was telling him about tonight" he shrugged and placed his hands over his head, then smiled at me "I am glad Kenny kept contact with Zeo. He is a good guy" he commented.

Sometimes I was jealous of how humble and considerate my friend could be for the people he cared about. I was too of course, but sometimes my logic ran up to me, and I ended up sounding or being mean.

_Did that leave Kai and get to me?_

I chuckled at my own though "Indeed" I replied and walked alongside with him, stopping to wait for the bus. I leaned against the thin column and watched my feet thoughtfully, while Tyson made himself comfortable on a bench beside. I pouted lightly, once more considering the condition which would come, and how I would say to Max that Kai wouldn't appear. Of course, I didn't think I would have to break it out to him, since he wouldn't see him with us. But then again, I should inform him anyway to not expect. I sighed. How had I gotten myself in this place was beyond me.

"What's eating you?"

I looked back at the bluish grey eyes of my friend. He was once more serious, but he seemed laid back, the way he had stretched himself on his seat. I ran my fingers through my black locks and sighed "Just… Worries" I said. Knowing Tyson I was fully aware that he wouldn't be satisfied with this answer, but it was worth a shot.

The bluenette rolled his eyes impatiently and sat up "Would you mind, being a little more specific?" he growled, with an annoyed frown, piercing me with his eyes.

I observed him quietly. Once more I knew just as well that any other half reply would just annoy him further. I wasn't of course afraid of the idea of upsetting him. I had done this before and it was much worst. But I wasn't certain we could afford a negative atmosphere when we would reach Max's room. For once I allowed myself to open up on the matter and share the burden.

"Kai won't come tonight" I explained, hoping this covered what he needed to hear. Or most importantly why I was worried.

"What? Why?" he asked, before he could think of it. A rushed reaction which would never be surprise coming from him.

I gave him a short explanation of how the change of Max's schedule drove Kai out of his own, and made sure to mention Voltaire, using Tyson's harsh feelings toward the man for Kai's sake. It worked. The team champion watched the ground troubled, crossing his arms. I didn't think he had realized the almost romance that was happening with our two friends, but still he had seen and felt how there had been something between them, in a matter of friendship at least. Like, they were buddies and everything, but their relationship had been shaken when the captain had betrayed Max, and they would have made up tonight. But if the older didn't appear it would only make matters worse between them. Tyson knew as well as I that Max expected our sour leader to appear, and he would be greatly disappointed.

"Well" he shrugged carelessly and stretched back on his seat "It can't be helped. Let's make sure to cover up for his sorry ass, and keep Max busy. Should we get him something to eat? Sweets make me happy" he said and grinned at me.

I returned the smile "I think he would be satisfied with the biggest bottle of mustard we could find. Tyson laughed and made a disgusted sound through it.

"Ow. Gosh! That's just awful!" he grimaced at me "But hey! Maybe you can make something up with all that mustard. You are a cook"

"I don't think there is any food that can cover up his need for this" I smirked and he snickered. After the bus came, we made sure to keep each other's spirits up, as we were on our way. After all, it would do no good for Max if we were gloomy.

_/\_

Upon reaching the clinic, Tyson and I were both wondering how we could break Max the news as softly as possible. The bluenette suggested that it was best to get it over with, and not having expecting for Kai needlessly, so he asked me to get it over with. I on the other hand couldn't help but wonder if it was maybe better to let him enjoy the fact that he was getting out of there first. In the end we decided that we would see how much our blonde friend's expectations were raised, and act according to this.

When we reached Max's room, the boy welcomed us with a bright smile, capable to melt even the snow covering Alaska, rising to sit onto his bed and set aside the book that had been an extension of his hands these latest months. Judy was across the room, standing next to the window and talking to her phone, but still turned and waved at us with a soft smile when we showed up, before turning and continuing her call.

"Hey, buddy" said Tyson and rushed close to his friend, giving him a tight embrace, of the ones that were very characteristic to his old character as he ruffled the blonde's locks, getting a sweet laughter in return.

"Tyson! You will mess my hair!" he exclaimed teasingly, since we all knew his hair was messier than Harry Potter's by nature. Max's blue orbs looked toward me, as he was escaping from his friend's grasp, and then they fell to the door expectantly. It was one of the times he looked way too much like a puppy.

The champion noticed the boy's gaze just like I did and we exchanged a worried glance, but Max didn't notice, since he was still watching the doorway.

"Oh, my" Judy's voice attracted all of our attention. She was watching in amusement something under the window and all three of us rushed curiously to follow her gaze. Kenny had just stepped out of a car, that probably had the same cost as Tyson's whole house, and I easily guessed it belonged to Zeo. Max on the other hand seemed to be expecting some other rich bastard, and he frowned lightly when the car set off, and only Chief had got out of it and rushed through the main doors.

"Rich people!" exclaimed Tyson with a groan, sending me a meaningful look "I am so going to make 'princess' jokes at chief" he said and rushed out with a wide grin, to catch up with Kenny outside. I bit the insides of my lip.

"Whose car was that?" asked Max curiously, after chuckling lightly with Tyson's claim and returned to sit onto his bed.

"It was Zeo's" I replied and followed him to stand and face him like before, while Judy returned to her phone call "He and Chief were off to get some freshly released video game, or something" I added, crossing my arms and rocking myself to my heels.

Max smiled in amusement "I didn't know they were friends"

"Neither did I, but apparently they have been chatting through some networking or… Something" a light flush formed onto my cheeks. My connections with technology were very poor, and from the blonde's attempt to catch back a sneer, I knew that he was aware of the fact.

The younger shifted onto the bed sheets, his eyes occasionally stealing glances to the corridor out of the open door, and he was obviously struggling with a question he wanted to form, and I realized it would be pointless to try and cover the absence for much longer. It would only prologue Max's expectations, and make his fall even harder afterward.

"About Kai…" I started and he sat still, looking at me. It was much difficult than I had dared to think. I could see the disappointment that was already forming at my tone, as well as the plead to shove it away and say something good.

I couldn't do it.

I lowered my eyes, so I didn't have to face him for this, and kept my voice low for only him to hear "He had planned things out for tomorrow, but he can't come today…" I whispered, stopping to hit around the bush and simply spearing the beans.

Nothing happened.

I rose my gaze once more to look at Max. Suddenly he seemed even smaller than usual. His hands were resting on the railing onto the bottom of the bed, and his expression was quite unreadable. For a second I could have sworn he wasn't even breathing, but just then he released a weak shaky breath. I saw him gulping, as he moved his eyes away from mine and forced a smile "I see…" he responded, although I couldn't be sure if he was talking to me, or had an inside conversation.

"He really wanted to come and-" I begun, hoping to make him feel better, and realize that it was duty that had forced Kai to not be present, but he cut me mid-sentence.

"It's alright" he exclaimed calmly and viewed me once more. His smile was nothing like the one that welcomed us into the room. It was sad and forced, and didn't by any chance filled his eyes, that looked hopeless and once more sorrowfully betrayed "He couldn't help it"

I highly doubted that it was I that he was trying to persuade.

Judy walked over to us and Max dropped his gaze once again instantly.

"We'll get going after your father appears" said the woman, not seeming to notice the tension. Max smiled much more convincingly this time up to his mother.

"I have everything packed up. I can't wait!" he exclaimed.

The denial into looking at me or acknowledge my existence, as if I was the one at fault when Kenny and Tyson made their entrance, could have hurt me, but I didn't mind it at all. I knew very well that he didn't mean to hurt me, neither was he mad at me.

I was really thankful as my other two teammates made sure to make Max's smile just a little more honest.

_/\/\__/\/\_

_Both of Kai's eyebrows rose in pure lack of amusement as he viewed the card with the Adam and Eve artwork, at an Eden like environment, artwork onto the card. Rafael on the other hand was enjoying it with all his heart. The card was being held between two of his fingers, and a canine smile formed onto his overjoyed face._

_"Won't you ask what this is about?" he asked eagerly._

_"Aren't you going to tell me anyway?" asked the red eyed with a bored shrug that made the other youth pout._

_"You give out negative energy, you know that?"_

_"I wonder why… Maybe it has something to do that I was forced into this?" declared Kai with a motion that spoke twice his words._

_The pair of brown eyes rolled "You can be seriously boring sometimes, bro" he chuckled and looked at the card "The Lovers is an interesting card… It seems you will have to make a rough choice, because this one mentions this as well" he stated and looked at the dual haired._

_Kai blinked, watching his step brother "Ok. Do I really wanna know what else lies there?" he questioned sarcastically._

_"Tsk" Rafael made a mocking expression and lifted the card to the light, as if it had magnetized his gaze "'The Lovers'" he begun once more and twirled slowly the card between his fingers "Is a good card in general… It stands for harmony and union when it appears upright. It stands for choices to be made using intuition and not intellect…" he lowered his hand and kept it the card to the level of his eyes "Difficult choices to be made, but not necessarily about love..." he turned to face the other boy "There'll be some form of test and consideration about commitments" at this mention Rafael seemed overly serious for some reason, and someone could say that his eyes were x-raying Kai "Abstract thought, internal harmony and union, second sight… And once again a possible struggle between two paths…" he finished and the smile of amusement, accompanied with a gleam at his eyes returned "Well, isn't that interesting?" he questioned._

_Kai didn't look convinced, but he guessed that there had to be one last card if he could hope for his life to roll once again, so he spoke "And the last card?"_

_Rafael smirked and lifted the last card._

_"The Wheel of Fortune"_

___/\/\__/\/\_

**Kai's POV**

Time is a really cruel thing. You can figure it out when you don't want things to happen mostly. Quite the opposite of when you are longing for something and the clock seems like it has decided to test your patience while having you wonder 'Does that thing have a battery or what?' No matter how much I wanted the whole gala thing to get over with, I wasn't really looking forward for the time I would know I should be somewhere else, yet I was stuck playing gentleman among a big bunch of hypocritical nobles, and neither was I looking forward for Rafael to leave, even if I knew I would be seeing him soon.

As I paced out of Rafael's room, I saw a suitcase, packed up, and the room suddenly seemed to lack colour and life. Since Rafael wasn't really related to my family (from Voltaire's side), he had no place in this mansion either, and the room he used had his signature only while he was staying in. Rafael enjoyed annoying my grandfather, but in case not to overdo it, he wouldn't mess up the room he was using. I felt grateful that my grandfather though respected the younger's room, and even if he hadn't let him officially move in, it was obvious that he was considering it as such, and didn't complain.

Back to the point, the afternoon came much faster than I expected, or maybe I had simply overdone myself and my sleeping schedule. Either way, I had taken my shower, and made myself presentable in general. I made my way to the library, where my brother had chosen to work onto my suit. I found it ready in tidy and clean hanging to a side. He had done a brilliant work, and it was finished just like he had promised.

"Ah, here you are" I heard his characteristic voice, as I examined my outfit, as the silver-haired walked into the room "It is ready as you probably noticed" he reassured me, motioning at the suit. He didn't seem like he was going to boast about how marvelous his work and talent were, which made me guess he was still upset with me.

"It is gracious, thank you" I replied, hoping that the compliment would lift his spirits quite a bit. The heavy atmosphere that clouded my thoughts was enough, and I certainly didn't need an additional.

Rafael smiled, with his ear perking up "Naturally it is. You didn't happen to expect anything less?" he said raising his eyebrow. I chuckled quite sarcastically.

"Of course not" I reassured him, giving him a cheeky grin. He sticked his tongue out to me, and I had a serious internal struggle to not comment on his maturity.

"What will you do with that hair of yours?" he asked and walked close, grabbing (not really gently) my hair with both of his hands and starting messing with it. I realized that he was forming it around to see how he would consider the result pleasurable "That dual colour, no matter how sexy it is, it makes the styling limiting, Nicky… Well of course I could blend them back, but you are cutter with bangs on the front…" It wasn't hard for me to tell that there would be no point in disagreeing, or complaining while he pulled on my hair, so I let him do as he pleased "We could part it maybe…" he said.

I couldn't help it when a groan escaped from my throat. I wasn't ungrateful of course for him always making sure I would give a good image, but I was neither in the mood, nor did I enjoy the way he was checking if he could make my hair grow by pulling them.

"Yes, I think we could part them, or throw them to one side. They look nice when they are framing your face, and now that it's clean of those blasted tattoos we can show more of your features, and no make up to suffocate you" he concluded, using his fingers as combs to part my hair in the middle and settle them around.

"I wasn't happy for the makeup either" I reassured him with a growl in embarrassment.

"I wouldn't blame you if you were, don't worry" he said, managing nothing less than making me feel even more uncomfortable.

"Could you get it over with, please?" I growled.

"Yes, sure. Go get dressed, and I will do something to tame that mane of yours once more afterward" he said and grabbed the suit from the hanger, passing it to me "If you dirt or ruin it, I will feed Elektra to Cassius" he warned me, narrowing his brown eyes.

"Leave Elektra out of this, Raff. Or we will see what is going to happen to your guitar" I threw in return taking the suit and walking out. I heard a frightened shriek behind me, and I guessed that my threat had reached home.

_/\_

The mansion that the Gala was taking place was nothing I hadn't seen before. Perfectly shined marble was one of the bases of what constructed the building. I could tell that a lot of maids had probably ruined their knees while on their four to make the floor reflecting. There were baroque details across the corners, as well as the ends of the pillars, but they were placed tactfully. I must admit I liked this detail, but it was of course meant to catch the eye and show off. Being in a noble family myself, I knew how the parade of wealth worked, but I could still admire a few things, and the building was generally more classical and European than most. It wasn't something you see at Japan every day, but from what I had witnessed while escorting my grandfather at all sort of places that were meant for breathtaking, people did adopt styles like this.

The suit that Rafael had made for me had received several positive glances, and like usually I had attracted a lot of stares. The outfit was mainly white, except of the striking red tie, and luckily comfortable for me to move around. My brother had left his touch with a few eccentric but very tactfully placed additions, like the cross shaped buttons and the chain that connected the two waist pockets. As for my hair, in the end it was made to fall more heavily to the right side of my face, and slicked back to the left.

The hall was full with life and well dressed men and women chatting. I would have loved to stay and support a wall like I usually do when I am somewhere I would rather not be, or mostly when I want to be unnoticed and left alone, but I knew that it was my duty to socialize. I proceeded into doing so, quite mechanically, whenever someone would approach me. Usually that someone would either be a young female, or an older male who wished to benefit from Voltaire, or hook me up with his daughter or granddaughter. Neither was of shock or worry to me. I was used to dealing well with both occasions, but it wasn't as easy as usual to play my role that night. My mind was elsewhere, and even if my clothes weren't tight, I felt like I was being choked whenever my mind drifted away from this rich masquerade.

Among nobles it is very usual to marry their children and join companies that way, while the line of the wealth would continue and follow and sprout. That old habit or tradition was being followed even to the modern days, which was why no one tried too hard to hide their motives after approaching me. My fame and pleasurable looks also made the female heirs very willing to mate with me, but I knew how to slip through things, and luckily my grandfather didn't follow that tradition, and had assured me that he wasn't going to promise my hand to anyone, but I still had to keep a polite, charming and very diplomatic behavior, so while rejecting proposals, I wouldn't cause any gap between businessmen, or insult anyone.

I believe that the reason my grandfather decided to skip into arranging a marriage for me, was probably connected to the disaster that had turned to be my mother's and Susumu's marriage. I knew very well that the two of them had no feelings for each other. Ever. And my mother had been going on with a 'secret' affair for years now. As for Susumu, the reason he stepped into this was because of the fortune. The whole thing had been arranged by Voltaire to cover her pregnancy. If I had to bet, Susumu and Marlene never had an actual 'couple' life.

In the end, Voltaire must had realized that he only managed to ruin a lot of people's life with his choices, and decided to not do the same mistake with me. So to cut long story short, I wouldn't get hooked up with anyone for the matter of benefit anytime soon.

My train of thoughts was cut as a hand laid gently onto my shoulder, and made me almost jump back to reality, as I turned to face my grandfather. His eyebrows were furrowed.

"You seem quite spaced out today, Kai" he remarked softly and returned his hands to rest onto his cane, after he was sure he had my attention.

I mentally cursed myself "Did you have complains for my behavior?" I questioned, quite concerned that while my mind was elsewhere the automatic cassette might had sidetracked when I was conversing with people.

"No, everyone is pleased with you as usual. But you seem to give a lot of attention to the clocks" he said, rising his eyebrows. I took a guess that he had been supervising me for quite some time, to have noticed something like that.

I couldn't help it of course, my eyes were drifting automatically wherever I could check the time. The others were surely already at the hospital, by Max's side. I wondered if Ray had already told him that I wouldn't show up, and how he had taken it.

At the latest thought I felt my guts twist.

"I am alright. Just… wondering if Rafael has left already" I found it to be the most convincing reason.

A disapproving hint appeared onto the old man's eyes but he did a good effort to cover it "Well, you will be seeing him in a couple of days, won't you?" he asked. I was really pleased to see that there was no detesting at the tone of his voice toward my step brother. He sounded more like he was talking about a friend of mine, that he had heard of but never met. Believe it or not, this was a good thing.

"I will… I am just wondering, that's all" I reassured him with a nod. To my displease he didn't seem to bite it, but nodded.

"How are you coping? I saw you getting a lot of people around you" he said. I did mention that he wasn't going to hook me up, but I knew that he would be pleased if I chose a girl with a good background.

"Yeah, like usual" I replied, a little too fast, which made is so that I didn't catch the slight irony in time. Voltaire chuckled and patted my back gently before heading away.

I let out long sigh, and got myself a glass of wine, since I had finally got a little time for myself. I tactfully moved a little away from the crowd and stood next to one of the tall windows, hanging one of my thumbs to my dress pants pockets.

It was a lovely night. The garden of the mansion was illuminated by the pale light from the windows, making the white rose bushes shine. A few couples had found some peace to the lawn grounds, taking a walk side by side. The weather still had a cool breeze at the evenings, but it was more of a spring breath rather than winter's, and the sky was cloudless. All in all it gave a soothing and peaceful feeling.

In my eyes though it seemed much more nostalgic, and I hoped that it would only give the positive effects to someone else... I took a sip from the wine, gazing at the first stars that had made their appearance. The feeling of the twisted gut hadn't left, as if to remind me why I couldn't enjoy the beauty of any of my surroundings, while only managed to notice the worst side of most.

The afternoon sun's signature was still obvious, and it softened the sky's blue, making the colour ruthlessly familiar. Or maybe it was only because I was wondering what Max was doing at the moment that I mistook the blue for the one of his eyes. After all Max's eyes had a lighter shade, and they reminded more the sea rather than the sky.

Yes I know that water reflects the colors from above, but still. Max's eyes have that shiny shade of aquamarine and it doesn't seem so much like the wide globe above. He is all about water, and he has a thing for turtles too. It is much more suited to compare his eyes to the ocean.

I am also aware, that it was quite masochistic to keep on thinking of him and beating myself over with a decision that I had made. But sometimes mind just decides to wonder off, and it doesn't ask you if you are ok with what it is playing with. I had made a decision, and I knew very well what it would bring, yet there I was, wishing I could teleport to where he was.

But then again, I hadn't really crossed my words. I had promised Max that I would see him in three months, and it wasn't exactly three months yet.

Although this idea did very little to lift my spirits, and my stomach was giving me an uncomfortable sensation to add in my tab of 'how worst can you feel?'.

"Nicolai"

A soft female thoughts granted me the favor of distracting me once more from my train of thoughts. The wife of the businessman that was casting the gala approached me with a kind smile. She was at her early forties, keeping herself at good shape. She was gracefully holding a glass of wine of her own as she stepped close with her high heels tapping. I bowed lightly in return and greeted her respectfully.

"I had an interesting conversation with your grandfather, and he mentioned that you adore literature. Perhaps you would like to take a look around the library? We have a few books that you might find to your liking" she suggested.

There are things like this. Little things that make me love my grandfather, and make me believe that he actually loves me back. He does little things that he knows will please me, and he is being tactful about it most of the time. I shot a glance to where my grandfather stood, and talked lively with a couple of other men, and found myself smiling gratefully.

I gave the woman a gentle smile "I would love to" I replied, setting my glass to the window ledge and followed her, after she motioned the way and offered to show me the way.

The library of the mansion was a round room, and the smell of leather and old paper could have intoxicated me. Against the walls stood old furniture carved with various patterns, which housed various collections of books, while a few classical sofas and armchairs provided a comfortable seat for reading. Honestly, the place seemed like a little piece of paradise for me, in a moment that I was desperate for some sort of escape.

"Thank you ma'am" I told the woman with a honest smile. She bowed her head once more elegantly and exited the room, sliding the door closed behind her and shielding the room from the classical music that was echoing into the main hall.

I vied my surroundings, getting a general idea about the titles. There was very little color, since they were all collectibles of a more classic timeline. I realized when I picked a copy from Doyle's Sherlock Holmes series, and the publication date was set in 1948.

Of course there is nothing wrong with the modern publications of older books, but I still found myself getting excited at the book. I took a small tour around, and figured that I could easily pass weeks in there, with only water and I would be happy.

Finally I settled onto one of the couches and begun to read.

I was granted with a full peaceful hour of careless and soothing reading. The lady of the house had made an appearance a couple of times to check if I needed anything, but that was about it. I was glad to see that the guests didn't so much as pay attention to the white door between the main hall and the library. I was grateful for that. Hopefully no one had paid attention to my absence either.

One of the main reasons I love books, is because I can get lost into a world far away from the one I am at the moment. I believe most people like books for this, and find sanctuary into them.

When I heard the door sliding open once more, I was too absorbed to the book, and didn't even glance up for a while. I was going to do that after I finished the last two lines of the page, but a voice called my name and I had to break away from the mental images. As I looked up a striking cyan reached my eyes. Zeo smiled softly and stepped in, sliding the door closed behind him.

"I saw your grandfather, but I didn't expect you to be here too" he shrugged lightly and walked across the room, taking a seat to the couch beside me "Then I heard a couple of ladies speaking of how handsome the Hiwatari heir looked today, but I didn't see you around" he concluded and intertwined his fingers together, resting them over his crossed knee.

I hadn't happened to encounter Zeo in any of the happenings I had attended, although I did see his father once. We hadn't spoken, I saw him from afar. Generally there wasn't a lot of common place between the companies the Hiwatari Company and Zagart's could collide. So they also had different groups and target market.

Zeo's appearance was very different of what I was used to seeing him. His hair that had been shortened, was now tied back neatly with a purple ribbon, leaving his bangs (that had somehow been tamed) frame his face. His suit had a light purple colour too, which made a nice contract with his hair, and was obviously new and expensive.

"The host's wife showed me the library, and I must admit I got quite excited" I commented with a soft smirk "How are you doing?"

I'll be honest. I was never fond of Zeo. He had been extremely annoying while fussing around Tyson, and especially after our fight and what happened with Dranzer, I couldn't even consider him… Well…

Bearable.

Either way, I couldn't be rude, especially in a place like this. So if he was turning a little too annoying, I would excuse myself.

"I am doing alright" he replied with a shrug and scanned the shelves with his eyes "It's been pretty quiet. I have improved with beyblade by the way… With practice" he added and glanced back at me. The apologetic frown didn't make me fight the urge to cross my arms and give him a bitch face in the slightest, but I remained calm.

"I saw the others earlier" he continued when he realized I wasn't going to speak "I went to get a video game with Kenny… I thought you would be with the others, to see Max" he said and regarded me curiously. It wasn't a judging stare, it was more like… Pure wonder.

"I was going to, tomorrow…" I replied. If possible, his questioned had managed to make me dislike him even more. I was perfectly calm and safe from guilt just a second ago, and he had to come and shove me to reality like this "But then plans changed and I couldn't skip the happening" I added. I was certain that words were coming out with bigger force than I intended to.

"I understand. When duty calls things turn like this sometimes…" he sighed "Can't be helped…" he added calmly.

Surprisingly, it made me un-tense a bit too. I hadn't even realized that I had gone into defending mode, but now I was getting back to my polite act and getting a hang of myself.

Ray always stood up for me, and made sure I didn't feel way too guilty, unless I deserved it. Having someone from the outside understand my place was a pleasing change. Of course Zeo didn't know the whole thing or the promise I had given to Max, but I chose to ignore this, because it did no good to my consciousness.

The door was sledded open once more, and the lady smiled at us.

"Is there anything you need?" she asked once more, and eyed Zeo, obviously wondering if he was bothering me.

"No, my lady. Thank you" I replied politely with a charming smile. She bowed her head and the room was closed off once again.

The other boy in the room, smiled at her before she go and then chuckled and look at me "How many have been dashing after you today?" he asked in a good natured teasing manner.

"She is just being nice" I stated, raising an eyebrow toward him.

"Yeah, right" he chuckled and rested his back against the back of the couch "While I was outside I heard a lot of wedding talk. Are you pat too?" he questioned, dropping his head back too, looking to the side at me.

"No, I have agreed with my grandfather and he isn't going to arrange anything. What about you?"

I am sure you have lived those moments, when you have said something extremely stupid, and you realize it when it has already left your lips. I wanted to slap my face, but luckily Zeo didn't look bothered. He laughed.

"No. No marriage for me" he replied, giving me a pumpkin grin that reminded a lot of Tyson "I don't believe I have anything to offer to a woman or… Anyone in general. I can't even grow old and…" he shrugged, obviously trying too hard to not look upset with his reality "After all, as long as I don't have any mis-function, my father's company won't be needing any heir for a very long time…" he finished.

I felt kind of sympathetic. Zeo's brain and emotions were human, but his body was a machine. I found it quite selfish from his father to turn him into a state like just so that he could survive.

"I apologize, my tongue rushed" I responded lowly. The boy smiled brightly.

"Nah. It's nice to be treated as a human from someone who knows you are not" he replied, beaming gratefully.

"You are a human, regardless of what consist your body" I remarked, and realized that he must had been feeling the same reassuring that I did when he said something that wouldn't have mattered from someone who was close to me.

The thing with the people you are close with, is that they love you, or like you, and generally will say things to reassure you, either because they believe them since they have seen more from your sides, or just so you can feel better.

This is why a stranger's words can count on a higher level sometimes. You settle to the idea that a person that doesn't care much about how you feel will be more honest.

Zeo ruffled through the books that I had set beside me to look through. He didn't seem to find anything interesting, because he rose and observed the shelves. I found it very ironic when he picked the adventures of Pinocchio, but chose to say nothing, as I turned my attention back to my own book.

"Is here any fictional character that has the same hair colour as I do?" he asked after a while, his eyebrows furrowed into the book.

I stared at him with my own eyebrows shot up. How in the world had he even come to ask this? Ok, people can get random thoughts while reading, or generally popping up. But curiosity took the best out of me.

"With all due respect, where did that even come from?"

"There is a fairy with turquoise hair in here" he pointed out, motioning at the book.

"Well, that's as close as it can be to yours…?" I felt quite awkward, mostly because I felt like I missed some point.

A snicker escaped Zeo's lips "Any male character?" he asked in amusement.

"How about anime characters?" I suggested, still feeling a little lost.

"I know there are anime characters with the same hair colour. I mean in fiction" he repeated. I remained silent for a moment, as the wheels of my mind worked.

"Teddy Lupin" I declared in the end with a shrug.

Zeo gapped "You are right!" he exclaimed and turned his eyes back to the book.

"Why?"

"Nothing, just…" he chuckled and made some motions with his hands as if trying to explain something difficult "Let's say…. Insecurity issues…" I guessed he was probably trying to find something empathize with or something… Although I didn't know how this would work with a fictional character.

"Do you like my hair?" he asked in a manner that usually girls use when they are trying to pick up an outfit to impress a boy.

"It's fine… It looks better like this by the way" I commented.

The nature of Zeo's smile changed, and he run his fingers through his hair softly "Tyson said so too" he replied. The fondness in his voice was far from what it was when he talked about him before.

Realizing what it was I had witnessed in his tone when he referred to my 'friend', made me extremely uncomfortable for some reason.

In case to be tactful, since at that moment Zeo seemed to had been in a different dimension, which I was glad I couldn't see, I turned my attention to my book once more. Zeo placed the book back into its place with slow and silent movements. After a moment of dead silence he turned to look at me once more.

"Does she make him happy?" he asked. He didn't have to tell me what he meant.

"As far as I have seen" I said bluntly, looking almost annoyed when I snapped my eyes from the book to gaze at him. He seemed quite guilty while having an inner struggle. I could almost hear his wheels turning (literally).

"Well, that's the most important" the sad smile that was decorating his face wasn't fake. It made me realize the extent of the 'damage' which only made me even more uncomfortable. I withdrew back to the pages once again.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uneasy" he mumbled.

"It's fine. I am just… Not good with this stuff" my eye caught the name 'Watson' but that was about all I had managed to grasp from the page. The tension in the room wasn't in my favor.

Hesitantly, Zeo took a seat into the couch once more, picking 'Through the looking glass' from my pile of literature and sunk into it. After a short pause of speech in which we were both trying to concentrate into what we were reading, I thought there was no point into trying. I had got distracted already.

"Honestly thought. I don't understand what either you, nor Hilary see in him" I commented, and suddenly, after taking this part out, I could have sworn the words onto the paper were much more readable now.

Zeo looked up, watching me a little taken aback that I had returned to the subject, and then he chuckled and grinned.

"Well…" he shrugged shyly, but after seeing that I wasn't being judgmental or anything like this, he seemed relaxed to talk about it "Tyson has his own charm. Believe it or not" he added hurriedly when he noticed my eyebrow rising "He is kind and accepting, and having him around can raise someone's spirit" he continued "Also, from what I saw today, he has matured quite a bit. Is he still annoying you?"

I shook my head "Not as much as he used to, anyway… But maybe I simply pay less attention"

The other seemed amused.

"Either way" he begun to speak once more "It's not like you choose that sort of things… For me Tyson was an idol. Then he became my friend… And he helped me accept what I am" he shrugged once more and smiled softly at me.

As I watched him, my mind drifted to Max. But this time it wasn't about how I had left him waiting. No. My thoughts wandered back to the days at the hotel, and that peck of which we never spoke of.

Now I wished I would have asked him, but I doubted it wouldn't turn too uncomfortable. Honestly thought, what was it about? Was he under the weather and the fever, or was it anything else? And if it was, why would it?

The way Zeo had placed it, first there didn't have to be a lot of reasoning for someone to develop a crush, but the things he presented that based his feelings, obviously mattered for him.

Did Max have things like that? Had I done anything to make him develop a legit crush on me?

The whole present reality had momentarily faded, as I was searching through the past we had with the blonde. Except of that one time I had saved him, and assuming it didn't all start the week we shared a room, I couldn't think of a lot of reasons to attract him.

Then again, there are fan girls that go crazy around famous people, just for their looks, but even if Max had happened to compliment people's looks, I didn't think he was the kind of person to fall for that alone. It seemed way too swallow for him.

"You have never fallen in love, have you?"

Zeo's voice dragged me back to the present time.

Naturally it would seem quite ironic to be asked something like that from a machine. But I knew better than that. Zeo's personality was human at every extend, so I didn't even consider that level of the moment.

"I don't think I have" I replied. Usually I didn't like talk about these things, but I didn't feel as uneasy as usual.

In the past I had happened to be with girls. I had relationships and all. Flirting, and generally that kind of stuff, but love was a different thing.

A thing I must admit I wasn't extremely sure how it worked, or how it happened or how you understand it, in the seventeen years of my life.

"Would you know if you were?" he asked, managing to make me feel utterly stupid, even if his teasing smile didn't hide any mean intentions. I would have preferred it though if he hadn't formed this question.

Zeo chuckled after he realized that I was too embarrassed to admit that I wouldn't.

"There are a few things that make it recognizable, if you care…" he suggested. A low growl rose from my throat, but he didn't seem affected. I mentally cursed the fact that I didn't simply told him I didn't care to learn.

"Of course I think it varies from one person to another, there are a few standard points, like…" as he spoke he watched the ceiling as if he was trying to remember, while his hands made a few motions, which I translated as 'I am trying to place into words something very very difficult'.

A fond smile, similar to the one he had when he spoke of Tyson formed onto his lips once more, and I figured he was using his own emotions toward him to describe how the whole thing worked.

"Well, first of all you think of them a lot… You even connect random things with them" if he was able to, he would definitely have a deep shade of red upon his cheeks at the moment "It is one of your top priorities that they are happy… Even if it isn't with you, and that makes the difference, I think. If you care enough for someone to place their happiness over yours…" he swigged his legs and continued. I was glad that I found myself listening to him the same way I would listen a cliché radio show. It wasn't too uncomfortable like this.

"You can probably get pretty lost upon simply staring at them. You know, it's… A dreamy state… You notice little things and remember some seemingly pointless details… You get jealous or irritated sometimes… You are protective if you can… To save you from mental image" he said and grinned at me "I will leave out the sexual parts. You can probably guess them"

I rolled my eyes but there was a hint of cheeky smile onto my face.

_Naturally_

I rested my elbow to the arm of the couch and my head onto my hand. While Zeo was trying to think of any other things to say, I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already eleven. Usually happenings like these, lasted until two or three in the morning.

By this time, Max and the others had surely already got at the blonde's house to 'celebrate' his return. I hoped Tyson's ability to 'lift spirits' was going to do good work today, since I had probably ruined Max's mood. Hopefully there would be enough sugar, or mustard (!) to make him feel better.

They certainly wouldn't had slept yet, but I doubted I would be done with the happening in time to join them…

"I guess the idea of kissing is important too"

"What?" I turned to him, as I had momentary forgotten he was in the room, or what he was talking about.

"Well. To be certain you like them especially, the idea of kissing them feels different than with… Someone else. A friend for example" he faced me, trying again to make a point "Like… I don't feel the same when I imagine kissing my crush, or imagining to kiss someone else".

"Well if you are attracted to someone, the kiss feels different too" I mentioned with a shrug.

"Being attracted to someone is pretty much a step close to crush. Probably it is the first step"

From my expression of disbelief he guessed I didn't quite grasp the idea. Until that moment I hadn't realized how oblivious I was to my own feelings, or how they work. It was ridiculous.

"Well think you are kissing Tyson!" he exclaimed. He might had thought that it would help him make me see his point, but mostly he managed to traumatize me, for the mere second the image formed in my head.

"Gr- I didn't need to imagine it" I replied, with a groan, raising my hand in defense. He cackled, most likely because with a similar mental image he was getting a boner.

"Just making a point. Well, even if you weren't in love, you can actually check the attraction of how you felt in the last kiss you had for example" he said with a shrug.

Obviously he meant the last kiss I had into a relationship, but what instantly popped up was the kiss with Max, since it was the last one I had.

I didn't get the same 'ew' reaction as I recalled it. Not even close to it actually… But as the scene was replaying in my mind, in horror I found that it had been tapped differently.

In case you remember, when Max had kissed me, I had reacted pretty rushed and dashed off, right?

Well.

The memory somehow was altered as it was being rewatched now. Not only did I not push him and ran off. I actually returned the kiss and the worst was that one: I enjoyed it, two: I didn't seem like I would stop anytime soon.

Myself in the vision made himself comfortable by climbing on top of the blonde, who wrapped his arms around my neck, making a noise that I found extremely alluring. The whole image was getting fed up by all the times I had seen Max's naked form, and the way he had clung to me while I was bathing him, suddenly made my clothes quite tight at a few certain places.

I didn't realize that the book I was holding fell from my hands, because at the moment Max had decided to use his legs for some uncalled reasons, while the way he was breathing out could have woken up the dead. And that being said, imagine how it felt for me, since his lips were too close to my ear.

"Kai are you alright" Zeo stared at me worriedly.

Thankfully he cut my train of thoughts, before Max's hips had finished the movement they had started. The first thing I did was to shift and make sure I didn't have any obvious problem. Then I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding back.

"Yeah, fine… I need some fresh air" I replied and rose, rubbing my temple. From the temperature of my skin, I could guess I certainly had some shade of red on my features "I'll be back in a moment" I added and stepped outside.

I rushed through the lively crowed and found my way to the balcony. I think someone might had called me, but I skipped them and was gratefully welcomed outside with the cold night breeze.

I really needed some cold to sooth the warmth that had arisen, and cool down my burning face.

I am not sure of what I was mostly shocked with. Part of me even felt quite filthy, even if Max had showed signs toward me. It wasn't because he was a boy either, even if I admit I had never had such a vision with a male before… But… The whole thing was subconscious! I had never intended to picture anything of that sort! Never even considered it.

Max was like a brother to me! I felt like my brain just ruined the whole thing and messed me up. Considering Max's age, I also felt quite like a real pervert.

I groaned, pretty sure that I couldn't sort my thoughts right now. So I pushed it aside for now and sat onto the stone railing, watching the, now dark, sky and trying to calm down, to be able and think clearly afterward.

_I think I need sex…_

**Max's POV**

You must have gone through something like this, right?

Longing for something, waiting for it impatiently. Waiting for it so eagerly, that the clocks slow down, and the nights seem to last as much as they last at the Poles. And then it never happens, and it's like the Eifel tower fell onto your head.

Yes, something of that sort…

It was something like that that I felt when Ray had told me that Kai wouldn't appear… I had been waiting for him. I had been patient, and even if I knew that I was being selfish, and was very well aware about how busy he was and all, I couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed.

Nevertheless, I did my best to not drag the others down with me.

Ray was overly cautious of my reactions, and kept an eye over me, but I made sure to keep on smiling and having fun. To be honest it wasn't all fake. I was happy that I was finally out of the hospital, and Tyson was back to his old idiotic self, thing that helped me a lot to brighten up.

A while after Chief arrived, we were all packed up, and I finally came back to my home.

My dad had prepared a lot of food and desserts (Tyson was more overjoyed by them than I was, like usual). Sometimes I managed to forget about Kai fully and have a lot of fun. My friends were all there, protective and ready to make me smile every time my mood dropped.

But there was this hint of something missing.

I am not ungrateful, ok? Maybe I am a little spoiled, ok. I didn't get what I wanted the most, big deal, right? Well you don't control how you feel!

Around half past eleven, everyone was full with food, and we had settled around the room to relax after the energetic night. I used the window glass as a support to rest my head and watched the star lit sky. When I was watching it while returning from the clinic, it had been change between afternoon and night. It had a sweet color and much fewer stars.

My mother walked around the room, checking her stuff, because she was flying at one o'clock.

I didn't mind her going, because I knew that she had neglected her job a lot of times to be by my side, and she would be coming back on Sunday anyway, and she had stayed with me until I was out.

"Tyson, stop eating, you will explode" Chief was cross-legged with Dizzy onto his lap like usual, upon an armchair, and was watching Tyson, who, even if he was obviously full, was struggling to finish a cake.

"But… I can't just leave it…" replied the boy with a groan.

I chuckled "If you feel sorry for it, I can eat it instead, Tyson" I called out.

"It's mine!" replied my friend aggressively, pushing the plate close to him. I grinned in return. I was pretty sure that Tyson had adopted more of his older self for the day, just to make me laugh.

I leaned against the window again, watching the people around the room. My father was helping mom out, taking little notes on stuff, and checking on all of us now and then. Ray seemed to be the most tired. He was sitting onto the couch, with his head laid back and his eyes hardly remaining open.

I gazed onto the cupboard across the hall, where I had hidden my copy of 'The little prince'. I had made sure it was out of view for the evening, so it wouldn't make me think of Kai all over again. But seriously, knowing that it was there still ticked my insides.

_I need to stop…_

I really did. I needed to stop thinking about Kai. It didn't help in anything, and he obviously didn't care much. My disappointment and sorrow speak openly that I needed to cut out, or at least have a break.

Just…

Move on with my life, you know?

_Yeah, but it's thanks to Kai you have a life_

Oh, shut up, will you? Voices in the head are a real bother.

Just when I was thinking of it I dragged my eyes from the stars and noticed my mother's suitcase as she set it to the hall.

And it came to me.

"Mom" I called out, and she stepped close with a smile.

"Yes?"

"Can I come with you?"

My parents had the most silent reactions, since all my mom did was look taken aback and my father froze. Ray jumped up, his eyes waking up instantly, like someone had injected him with caffeine. Kenny caught Dizzy the last second as she almost slipped from his hands.

Naturally Tyson was the loudest, since his "WHAT!?" echoed through the whole room.

I shrugged and snickered at his reaction "I have been locked in a room for weeks. I do need to get a little out"

"You are out!" shouted the champion, rising to his feet.

"I mean further" I explained. Tyson huffed, while (to my annoyance) Ray's frown showed that he had realized what I was running from.

Judy turned to look at my dad. They exchanged a meaningful look before he shrugged at her, smiling sadly. The woman turned back to me and smiled soft.

"Of course you can. I will go check if there is place for you in the flight" she replied and walked off. My father followed.

Tyson jumped across the room and landed close to me, taking a serious look, that had a funny hint onto his face.

"Come on Max! Why do you want to go, buddy?!"

"I told you" I pouted at him "I will be back soon, you don't need to look upset"

My friend huffed and sat cross-armed and legged. I ruffled his hair with a smirk.

"You have good company these days" I teased him. His face flushed before it turned to a shy pumpkin grin.

"Max, are you sure?"

Ray was quite frowned, and I was sure he was worried about Kai, or something. I nodded and he sighed. Kenny watched us with a pout and turned back to the computer.

"Whatever makes you comfortable then" he said, adjusting his glasses "We'll be here whenever you need us".

The champion jumped from beside me and glommed Chief, ruffling his hair.

"Oh yes. Trust Chief to speak words of wisdom. I am so proud of you, Kenny!"

Soon after, my parents made another appearance.

"I booked a seat for you. Your father will help you get your stuff ready, alright?" asked my mother and kissed my head when I walked up to her. My father was a little upset, but I was sure if he couldn't stand it he would pop up in America at a random moment yelling 'Son I missed you!'

After this my father and I headed off to get my stuff ready.

Behind me Tyson's smile faded, watching me go with a stern look. Kenny kept his head bowed to the computer, but his eyes followed me as I left. Ray stood and walked out of the house, taking out his phone.

But I didn't witness any of these.

_/\_

At the Hiwatari mansion a black and white cat meowed loudly in annoyance, as she scratched the mobile phone that was laid to the bed. It kept bothering her for the last ten minutes, screaming needlessly.

"How many times have I told him to not forget it at home" complained Rafael who ran into the room, with one shoe put on and the other with loose lashes and shooed Elektra from the phone, to pick it up. As soon as the sound stopped the cat stroked herself onto the young man's legs, purring loud, pleased.

"You have called Hiwatari-yet-once-more-forgot-my-phone-Kai. How can I help you?".

Ray looked like someone was making a bad joke at him. He rolled his eyes.

"You must be Rafael" he commented at the voice on the end of the line.

Rafael's ears perked up with interest "Well, Ain't I a famous one?" he chuckled and petted Elektra's head as she jumped back onto the bed, and stared at him curiously. "You must be Ray. I don't recon Kai has mentioned me to anyone else… You have nice voice. He isn't here though, and as you might realized, he has left his phone at home"

Ray's eyebrow furrowed. He knew from Kai that his step brother was… Quite eccentric. Now he was getting some taste of it. But he overcame that fast, and sighed.

"Could you give him a message? It's important" the neko-jii glanced at the Tate house door.

"I am flying in a few hours. I was getting ready actually, but… What's the message?" Rafael licked the insides of his mouth thoughtfully.

The dark haired wasn't sure how he was supposed to pass the message, or what the other was aware of, so he placed it like this "Tell him that Max will leave with his mother tonight at 1. Just that"

There was a pause.

Finally Rafael's voice reached Ray's ear once more.

"I see. I will inform him"

Ray seemed a little relieved, even if he knew there wasn't much that could be done "Thank you"

"No problem... Don't be stranger" the small smirk that had appeared onto Rafael was mentionable even through the phone line before he hanged up.

Ray thought that Kai was right and Rafael was indeed quite weird.

_/\_

A few hours later I was once more gazing at the stars, but a bit closer this time. As the lights of Japan were becoming smaller and distant, I felt quite nostalgic but I was sure it was the best thing I could do at the moment.

Meeting Kai would have only upset me again, even if he was going to apologize. Also it was about time I should try and get that crush swiped off, even if I doubted I could. It had been two to three years already, but I could try.

Closing my eyes I rested my head against the sheet and sunk into a dreamless sleep.

**Kai's POV**

My head was buzzing painfully when we reached home at three in the morning. After the whole sexual frustration, I believe I drunk a little more wine than I was used to. I didn't get drunk, but my head complained heavily.

Zeo had been good company for the night, and after the issue we didn't speak of it any more. We passed most of our time to talk about books and video games. It was a nice change, but I was all but into it. I might had been talking but there was very little connection between what I was really thinking and what I was speaking of.

My grandfather was pleased with me, and maybe a little concerned too. I would have been touched if I wasn't still at shock with the recent revelations to myself.

Grandfather and I bid our goodnights as soon as we were at home, and I headed up the stairs, while he flew to his own bedroom. Had I a clear mind, I would have noticed the figure on top of the staircase earlier.

"For god's sake, Rafael" I exclaimed tiredly, until it occurred to me "Rafael?" I blinked to make sure I was awake. The hall had only very little light, coming from the windows, so I could be seeing ghosts too "What are you doing here? Didn't you leave?"

My step brother rose "I would, but… Ray called and asked me to tell you something"

I didn't like his tone. I climbed up the last stairs and motioned for him to follow me to my room. My cat was deeply asleep curled onto my bed, and ignored out presence completely.

"What did he say?"

"He said that Max is going to leave with his mother tonight at 1… He is the reason you would have stayed, right?"

One thing was certain.

This day. Was a bad one for me.

My fists clenched and I felt really angry. I was going to see him! I had told him I would see him in three months at January 8th, and now it was April 6th. I had two days, but it was unfair for him to run off like that.

"With his mother, you said?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. Rafael was frowned, and I realized he had stayed because he was worried. Not to give me the message. He nodded.

"Well it can't be helped" I replied. I could practically hear the venom in my own voice "No reason for me to stay then" I shrugged and glanced around the room.

"When is next flight?"

"At seven in the morning" Rafael's ears perked up "You coming?" he questioned, hardly hiding his happiness.

"Yeah, make me a coffee. I need to pack up"

With that response I switched on a light and observed the room of what I would get along, then I started getting my bag ready, quite aggressively. I even almost ripped apart a book or two.

This was a bad day, but I had enough of guilt.

I was going to go to America anyway. Now I had one more reason to.

I said I would see him in three months.

And I would do it.

_/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\_

_"Effortless success"_

_Kai had had rested his chin onto both of his hands, staring at Rafael. If anything, the silver haired, knew how to make an appearance. He would make a good show, because the bluenette wasn't that bored anymore. He found the other's report quite amusing._

_"The wheel of fortune signalizes a lot of positive things when it's upright" the canine smile on Rafael's face made his fangs show. His eyes where glimmering with the feeling of suspense he hoped he was creating "It's generally a card of good and unexpected fortune, advancement and positive upheaval… It also means change, so you might be shoved a little out of your comfort zone" he smirked teasingly at his brother._

_Air was breathed out hard from Kai's nose indifferently._

_Rafael chuckled._

_"You can huff all you want. But Karmic change is on your tail brother. I suggest you brace yourself. Luck and coincidences! That can't be bad, right?"_

_Rafael sat back and dropped the card, face up, onto the others. Kai's eyes darted onto it._

_"Most importantly…" spoke Rafael once more, dropping his head back, as he was supporting hiself to his arms, and viewed the ceiling with a knowing smile._

_"It's the beginning of a new cycle"_

**_/TBC/_**

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**So. This is a turning point. This is actually where BMF ends in a way. If it was a series... This would probably be the end of the season. If you understant what I mean, right? I will not close it and make a sequel, I will continue here of course. But the drug part is mostly over with.**

**Finally we get to the couple (wow, who would have guessed we would?). After this point there will be relationship development, and quite a few flashbacks. I hope you like it! **

**I am collecting money to get a laptop so I can write elsewhere too. I wish the next chapter won't take another fucking year! I am sorry! Thank you for reading!**

**Please tell me what you like, or don't like so I can keep it in mind. Please review! **

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**Also Thanks to:** All those who read and enjoy this story and will actually keep up still! THANK YOU!

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_Beyblade (c) Takao Aoki_


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